Are you having twins and scared about it? Here’s one mom’s honest post about hearing the news of having twins and how to overcome the fear.
I’m freaking out about having twins. Two newborns. Two newborns who will not sleep through the night. Two toddlers who will have separation anxiety, bath time fears, determined defiance, and tantrums.
My doctor was happy as she congratulated me on the surprising news. Meanwhile, I plastered on a fake smile because deep down, the news scared me out of my mind.
I was watching the monitor as my doctor performed the sonogram. “Well, I have good news…” she began, “…and even better news.”And right away, I saw the two blobs on the screen. I knew before she even uttered the T-word that I was carrying two babies.
My husband is ecstatic. Even when I was pregnant with my older child, he had already been hoping for twins. “Why?!” I asked him. “Twins mean double the work, double the costs, and double the trouble.”
For the most part I’m right. Any parent of twins will tell you that it’s a boatload more work than a singleton. I approached a father of a brother-and-sister twin set at the park and said, “Wow, you must have double the work of a single child.” And he responded, “Not double—quadruple!” I believed him instantly.
And did I mention that I already have a toddler? I would have been more okay if my first pregnancy resulted in twins. Great—two kids is a good amount—now we can get it done in one swipe. But nope, now we get to have the fun with twins while raising a toddler as well.
Cue me freaking out about having twins during pregnancy.
Why I’m having twins and scared about it
Carrying twins also imposes its own set of risks to myself and the babies. I now have a high-risk pregnancy for carrying multiples, including:
- I need to check in with my doctor a whole lot more.
- I’m more likely to develop complications such as preeclampsia and gestational diabetes.
- I’m going to feel fatigued. I could already feel a difference now at seven weeks with twins compared to seven weeks with my first.
- The babies are at higher risk for being born prematurely, bringing on a slew of complications on its own.
- I can’t travel.
- I need to rest a whole lot more than my previous pregnancy.
Maybe the biggest challenge I’m trying to absorb is that this goes against my plans. Yes, I plan, even with something as unpredictable as children. When my husband and I tried to conceive again, I was aiming for two and done. I wanted another sibling for my little guy to be a big brother to.
Now we’re a family of five. Um, hello world—that’s not what I planned for (insert fist shaking at the sky)!
I’m also worried about my toddler—how will he react? Will he feel excluded? I was already leafing through advice on how to introduce a new baby to your child. Will it be worse with two babies?
When I picked him up today, I couldn’t help but shake my head and think, “You have no idea what’s in store for you.” I wanted to protect him from the vast changes about to happen to him, changes he didn’t ask for.
So yes, I’m freaking out about having twins. I know others have done it before. My good friend is a twin herself, and she and her sister share a special bond that only twins will share.
Heck, my little guy might even prove me wrong and be the most compliant toddler. The best big-brother helper in the world, despite two crying babies. And for all I know, this second pregnancy may go just as smooth and complication-free as my first.
I almost feel embarrassed and guilty admitting how I feel. With the doctor and nurses saying congrats, I felt strange for not jumping with joy. I should be happy I’m having twins, but I’m not. Not exactly.
I feel scared. And I know how ungrateful I sound, considering many families are trying to conceive even just one. And here I am complaining about carrying two. Still, these are my honest, initial emotions, and I won’t lie.
Much has transpired with my fears and anxiety from seven weeks up to the point that you’re reading this now. I wanted to capture my emotions and prove myself wrong. That I’m able to do this, that this is a blessing, and learn that double the trouble also means double the love.
And double the family memories. And double the lessons I’m bound to learn from these two babies, these twins of mine.
Update: The twins are now two-years-old and I cannot be happier to have them in my life. The first few months were rough, but having had a first child, I knew the challenges were temporary. My life is like the normal we had before the twins were born.
Want to learn more about how to manage once your twins arrive? Enroll in my FREE 5-day email course, Bringing Home Twins: How to Survive the Early Weeks with Newborn Twins! You’ll also get my Feeding and Diaper Tracker instantly:
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How did you react to the news of your pregnancy? What are your biggest fears and worries about carrying twins? Let me know in the comments!