I endured a few discomforts throughout the pregnancy, from being sick five times (once every month since October until now), to double the fatigue and nausea and even struggling to gain enough weight to make sure these babies are a healthy size.
Now, however, I’m faced with more challenging complications.
I mentioned my PUPPPs rash a few days ago; I now also have cholestasis, which is yet another itch-related pregnancy complication (why I ended up with two itch-related complications that have nothing to do with each other at the same time is beyond me). Unlike PUPPPs, however, cholestasis does pose a risk to the babies, and I’m now required to visit the doctor at least three times a week to monitor the babies’ health and deliver no later than 37 weeks.
It’s been a whirlwind of madness in our home. All these complications plus caring for a three year old and that my husband has been battling what probably is bronchitis hasn’t made for an easy household. I’ve been ready to throw in the towel so many times but remind myself that these babies still need time to grow and rely on me to stay positive.
And so as much as this post is meant to be helpful to you, I also wrote it for myself, to remind me to stay positive when times are tough. How?
- Find distractions. One of the best ways to ease worries and anxiety is to think about something else, even for a short while. For me, this might mean watching a funny show, playing games on my iPhone (yes that’s me playing Scramble with Friends and Draw Something at 3am), hanging out with my three-year-old and talking to my husband and mom about other topics.
- Have a good cry or vent. At the same time, sometimes you just need to get it out of your system. While you don’t want to stay miserable too long, it’s also not healthy to bottle up your feelings. I actually find solace in online mommy groups dealing with similar complications so that I know I’m not alone. I also email my friends the latest updates for support.
- Search for the positives. Somehow there remains a glimmer of joy and goodness even in our troubles. Draw on these positives to remind yourself that not everything is bleak. In my case, I’m fortunate that the babies remain healthy, that I’m in competent hands with my doctors, that my son still loves to kiss my belly, and heck, that I even have a disabled parking placard so that I don’t have to walk too far.
- Tell yourself it’s temporary. In most cases, dire days are temporary. I know this pregnancy is coming to a close, and while the ensuing newborn days may just be as maddening, at least I know I won’t have these complications for much longer.
- Remember it’s all for good reason. I’ve always felt that our experiences in life help mold us into the people we can be. Bad relationships can teach us about what we want in a partner. Poor decisions help us grow into more mature adults down the line. Any annoying medical tests I’ve dealt with in this pregnancy have ensured my health and those of the babies. And you’re reminded that the sacrifices are worth all the trouble when you hold two baby boys in your arms.
I won’t lie: last night I shed a few tears from the discomforts of carrying twins and having these complications. It ain’t easy, and I was just about to be the biggest cry baby and mope for the next few weeks. But then you wake up the next day and realize that there’s still goodness, that this will be short-lived, and that I have an amazing family—and two little ones on the way—worth holding on for.
How do you plow through difficult times? What have been some of your more challenging moments?