Toddler Waking Up at Night and Not Going Back to Sleep
Is your toddler waking up at night and not going back to sleep? Learn 6 solutions to help your child sleep through the night again.
What is going on?! you might be wondering.
Your toddler suddenly won’t sleep through the night anymore, his cries waking the whole house every night. You’re left either rocking him to sleep or bringing him to your bed just so he stops crying.
You’ve had a consistent bedtime routine and no major changes in his life. He also goes to bed with no fuss and sleeps through a long stretch at first.
And sure, he’s woken up at night from time to time in the past, but at least he’d go right back to sleep. These days, not only does he keep waking up, but he also refuses to sleep.
The next thing you know, the both of you are in bed awake until it’s time to get up for the morning. What can you do to help him sleep well again? Take a look at these tips to do just that:
Table of Contents
Keep your toddler active during the day
Let’s start long before you even put your toddler down in the crib or bed: what she does during the day.
Try to keep her active during the day so she can feel appropriately tired by bedtime. She’s less likely to have disrupted sleep and wake up in the middle of the night full of energy.
Our pediatrician had told us that kids shouldn’t be sedentary for more than an hour, other than while sleeping. If she’s been reading or playing with stuffed animals for an hour, encourage her to do something active.
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Shorten long naps
Next, let’s take a look at how your toddler naps during the day. Most toddlers take one nap, but how long they do can affect how well they sleep at night.
Let’s say yours only needs 12 hours of total sleep within 24 hours. If nap time is three hours long, he could be ready to go by the early morning.
See what happens if you shorten the nap, even by half an hour. Hopefully, he can get more of his sleep at night rather than sleeping a long stretch during the day.
However, don’t do this if he’s taking short naps to begin with. If all you can get from him is a 45-minute nap, don’t shorten it further to 30 minutes. This only applies to those taking long naps.
Learn how to handle your 2 year old waking up at night for hours.
Push bedtime later
I tend to err on putting kids to bed earlier than later (8:30pm is the latest bedtime I would suggest). But some kids are in bed early—much earlier than they might need to be.
You can imagine that, with an early bedtime, your toddler could be awake and rested even in the middle of the night. She already had her long stretch and isn’t sleepy enough to doze off again.
Instead, experiment with pushing bedtime later in 15-minute increments. You can hopefully transition to this new schedule so she’s asleep later in the morning (but again, don’t go past 8:30pm).
Put your toddler to sleep awake
Do you still feel compelled to rock your toddler to sleep or hold him in your arms until he drifts off? Does he still need you in the room to fall asleep, or to sleep in your bed before you carry him to his?
The biggest downside of you putting him to sleep is that he has no opportunity to do so on his own. But if you put him down awake, he gets to do that for himself right from the start. Then, when he wakes up in the middle of the night, he’ll know how to put himself back to sleep.
So, tuck him under his blanket, give him a kiss goodnight, and allow him to fall asleep. Trust that he can learn this new habit of putting himself to sleep. By learning that he can do this himself, he won’t need you (and cry for you) to do that for him in the middle of the night.
Check out these examples of a 2.5 year old sleep schedule.
Let your toddler fall asleep alone
What do you do when your toddler wakes up in the middle of the night? If you’re like many parents, you felt compelled to go to her room each time she cries and stay there until she settles down.
Except doing this reinforces the very habits you’d rather do away with. She learns that she can’t fall asleep alone and that you bend over backward for every tear or complaint.
Instead, be firm and reassure her that it’s still time to sleep. You’re not checking in to provide comfort or stop her from crying so much as helping her learn that you’re still here but that it’s time to sleep.
First, check to make sure that all is okay or if she truly does need your attention. If she doesn’t, say that it’s time to sleep and that you’ll get her up at a designated time in the morning. Then, close the door and go back to your room.
Set a timer for 15 minutes to check in on her again should she still be crying. Repeat the same message: it’s time to sleep, and that you’ll get her up at the designated time. Continue to do this until she eventually falls asleep.
This way, she has an opportunity to fall asleep on her own, but she also knows you’re still here.
Get a toddler alarm clock
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Many parents have had great success with using a toddler alarm clock. Since kids this age can’t grasp the concept of time as well as you and I do, an alarm clock for toddlers can help.
Rather than telling your child that you’ll get her up at 7 o’clock, use the alarm to mark that time. Some light up a certain color, while others play a tune. Either way, she has a clear signal that she can get out of bed.
The most important part is to stay consistent and follow through. Keep wake up time the same every morning, and allow her to get up when you said she could. That way, she knows that she really can get up when the alarm goes off and doesn’t get mixed signals.
Take a look at these favorites:
Add white noise
I don’t know about you, but I hate having to tiptoe around the house for fear that my kids might wake up. And personally, any jarring sound I hear when I sleep can easily jolt me awake if I’m in a silent room.
That’s why one of the best tricks is to add white noise to your child’s room. This can be a fan or heater, an actual white noise machine, or an app or audio. The white noise muffles any sounds that can startle her awake.
Practice milestones
Falling asleep can sometimes be difficult when you’re excited about something. Maybe it’s the anticipation of a new job or the fun conversation you had with a friend over the phone. Any time our minds are preoccupied, falling asleep becomes harder.
The same is true for your 1 year old, especially as he practices developmental milestones he’s now learning.
From crawling to pulling up, he uses sleep time to “practice” these skills, eating up the time he should be asleep. Then, when he wakes up in the middle of the night, he’s already overtired, making it harder to fall asleep once again. Or maybe he’s practicing how to pull himself up on the crib but feels frightened when he realizes he doesn’t know how to get back down.
While you can’t stop him from practicing, you can ensure that he has plenty of time to flex his skills during the day. Maybe this means letting him roam the room instead of keeping him in the infant seat or encouraging him to clap his hands or speak new words.
Not only can he have more time to practice these skills during the day, he just might be tired enough to sleep through the night.
Reassure your child’s anxieties
One of the biggest culprits you might be facing is separation anxiety at night, making your child wake up because you’re not there.
As distraught as he might be, feeling just as anxious yourself can make him feel worse. Rushing into the room as if he’s in danger sends the message that he’s not safe being alone.
Instead, go in when he cries and offer a calm yet quick reassurance that you’re still here. Don’t enable habits you don’t want, like picking him up to rock him to sleep. Let him know that it’s time to sleep and that you’re in the next room.
Set your timer for a few minutes and check in again should he still be crying. Keep these brief, reminding him that you’re still here and that it’s time to sleep. The more consistent you can be, the more he can get the message that everything is okay.
Another tip is to offer a special stuffed animal or lovey to sleep with. Having an attachment item is a healthy way to soothe himself without you in the room.
Don’t give in
The middle of the night isn’t exactly the best time to make coherent, smart decisions. So, if you’ve ever allowed your toddler to climb into bed with you just so everyone can finally fall asleep, you’re not alone.
Still, it’s in enabling these very habits that extend the lack of sleep even further. Maybe she still wakes up at night for milk or you have to rock her to sleep—anything that isn’t sustainable in the long run will only continue the longer you allow them to.
Instead, don’t give in to these unsustainable requests. Of course, make exceptions should she be sick, and you should always be compassionate as you reassure her of her anxieties.
But so long as she has no real need (especially when you know she can fall asleep on her own), keep your middle-of-the-night contact minimal. Be consistent and this can likely resolve in a few days (rather than extend for months on end).
Conclusion
With your toddler waking up at night and not going back to sleep, no wonder you’re exhausted. Thankfully, you can try a few tricks to help her fall back asleep.
Keep her active during the day so that she’s actually tired at night (instead of roaring to go). Shorten long naps so she gets a longer stretch of sleep at night. Push bedtime back (but no later than 8:30pm).
Put her down to sleep awake so she learns to sleep on her own. Don’t feel compelled to go to her room each time she cries for you—instead, check in at set times so she knows it’s still time to sleep. And finally, use a toddler alarm clock to signal when she can be up for the day.
With time and consistency, you won’t be wondering if she can sleep through the night anymore!
Get more tips:
- How to Keep Your Toddler in Their Room at Night
- How to Establish a 2 Year Old Bedtime
- 5 Tips to Try When Your Toddler Wakes Up Too Early
- How to Create a Toddler Sleep Schedule
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