How to Establish a Solid 2 Year Old Bedtime

Struggling with creating a 2 year old bedtime? Learn what time your child should sleep, schedules to try, and transitioning to bedtime.

The two-year mark seems to come with its own bedtime challenge. You might have a “good sleeper”—even since infancy—but at two years old, well… things changed.

For one thing, it now takes her an hour to sleep, and that’s with you staying in her room until she finally does. She demands to sleep in your bed instead of hers. Or maybe she’s in bed, but plays and keeps herself up until 10pm.

It doesn’t help when changes in your life—holidays, new house, vacation—disrupt your routine.

The worst part? Despite all these challenges with your 2 year old bedtime, she wakes up at 5:30 in the morning, ready to go.

How to establish a solid 2 year old bedtime

I hear you, friend. As consistent as I’ve been with my boys’ bedtime, I certainly ran into some troubles around the two-year mark. They’d stay awake for an hour, getting out of bed to collect books and toys. Other times, they wouldn’t even go to bed, filling “bedtime” with lots of crying and excuses to stall.

I started toying with their daily routine, as well as how many hours they actually needed to sleep. And I found that certain habits helped steer them in the right direction once again. No more whining, excuses, or taking forever to fall asleep. Now we had a solid 2 year old bedtime that was more predictable than ever.

Take a look at these best practices, and hopefully you can create a bedtime routine for you and your 2 year old:

1. Shoot for a bedtime 12 hours before wake-up time

Until now, the “official time” my kids wake up is 7am, and I can’t remember when it wasn’t that way.

Kids should get about 11-12 hours of sleep at night. If you need your 2 year old to be up by 7am, shoot for a 7pm bedtime. This way, they’re not overtired by the next morning (or cranky come the “witching hours”).

How do you know if your 2 year old needs 11 or 12 hours? She likely only needs 11 if she’s in bed at 7pm and up by 6am the next morning. And as life goes on, she likely won’t always wake up at the same time, every time—you’re working with a range, not a precise time.

But generally, a good night of sleep for kids starts with getting 11-12 hours of rest each night.

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2. Don’t put your 2 year old to sleep past 8:30pm

Many parents put their kids to bed based on the family circumstances. Maybe one parent gets home late from work and wants to play with the kids. Or another stays home and can sleep late at night (and wake up late in the morning).

We all have our reasons for putting our kids to bed at the time we currently do. Still, even if your 2 year old technically gets 12 hours of sleep at night, aim for a bedtime no later than 8:30pm.

A night of sleep from 8pm to 8am ties in with your child’s circadian clock better than one from 11pm to 11am. You’ll find that sleeping earlier rather than later can make your 2 year old bedtime much easier and manageable.

Learn how to create a successful toddler sleep schedule.

3. Wind down early in the evening

Does transitioning to bedtime feel like pulling teeth with your 2 year old? Part of the problem could be the way your evenings feel leading up to it. If a tickle fest and action-packed television describe your typical evening, she may not be ready to snooze for the night yet.

Instead, dedicate the last 30 minutes before bedtime for low-key activities. Give her a relaxing bath, read books (calm ones, if need be), and ask her about her favorite part of the day. Slow-paced moments prepare for a good night of sleep.

Discover these genius ways to make bedtime easier.

4. Schedule one midday nap

Some toddlers put up a fight come bedtime because they’re simply not sleepy enough, especially if they take a long or late nap. Waking up at 4pm from a nap will almost always mean your 2 year old refuses to sleep until hours later, no matter what time you start bedtime.

On the flip side, an early or too-short nap could make her feel overtired and restless come bedtime. Despite needing the sleep, the lack of it will actually prevent her from falling asleep easily.

Instead, aim for one midday nap, right in the middle of the day. Let’s say she takes a two-hour nap and is awake between 7am and 7pm. Schedule the nap from 12-2pm, giving her five hours in the morning and another five in the evening to be awake.

Learn how to get an overtired toddler to sleep.

5. Set a timer during your bedtime routine

I set a timer for just about anything, from how long they can play before we read books to when it’s time to clean up for the day.

Timers make your schedule “neutral,” especially if your 2 year old feels like you decide everything about her bedtime routine. She’s less likely to argue or whine when the timer says it’s time to take a bath—it’s simply a fact.

If she tends to throw excuses about going to bed or drags the process longer than needed, use a timer to track your bedtime routine. Maybe that’s setting 20 minutes of coloring and painting before it’s time to take a bath. Or she gets five minutes to tinker with her toys before it’s lights out.

Learn the five techniques to help children with transitions.

6. Give your child choices about bedtime

Being told what to do 90% of the time can take a toll on even the most patient child. And considering how many directions kids get around bedtime, it’s easy to see why many of them put up a fight or drag their feet.

One simple change you can do is to offer your 2 year old parent-approved choices about bedtime. For instance, I’ve asked my kids to choose the books we’ll read that night, or whether they’d like to leave their block creations up or take it down.

By making a choice, your child will be more invested and follow through with the task. Picking out pajamas won’t be yet another power struggle when he gets to decide which set he’d like to wear.

As I say in my book, Parenting with Purpose:

“When given a choice, kids own the task. Putting on a jacket won’t seem like Mom’s Terrible Idea I Must Rebel Against. Instead, your child gets to decide between a green or gray jacket. Giving choices reduces conflict. I’ve avoided many tantrums by drawing attention to the choices my kids can make, not the task they’re resisting.”

Get more tips about giving children choices.

7. Give your child consequences

Your child’s behavior is often simply a habit, reinforced time and time again. If he has learned that calling out your name from bed means getting to sleep in yours, he’ll continue to do exactly that. The response to his behavior cements the choices he makes, leading to a cycle that won’t always break on its own.

Instead, hold him accountable for his choices by giving consequences that match the behavior.

Let’s say he keeps getting out of bed to collect his toys, despite you asking him to stay tucked in. The next evening, let him know that if he does that, you’ll remove the toys from the room. So, he can either stay in bed and keep the toys in the room, or choose to get out of bed but have the toys removed.

The more you hold your ground on the consequences of his actions, the more he’ll learn from them.

Check out these consequences for bedtime battles.

8. Stay consistent with your routine

A bedtime routine is as effective as it is consistent.

You see, daily tasks become automatic—so much so that you hardly even need to remind your child what part of bedtime comes next. Consistency helps him build the habits you want him to continue, while eliminating the ones you don’t.

He’s also comforted by the familiarity of this part of the day. Being able to predict—and seeing your predictions come true—feels reassuring to young kids.

And consistent repetition sends the message that this is simply how it is. Walking him back to his room each time—instead of allowing him to sleep in yours—makes him less likely to get out of bed.

Learn the importance of creating toddler routines.

Conclusion

Whether your child takes forever to fall asleep or fights you every night, creating a solid 2 year old bedtime is absolutely possible.

Aim for 11-12 hours of sleep a night—if she wakes up at 7am, bedtime should come by 7pm. Stick to a bedtime no later than 8:30pm to work with her body’s circadian rhythms. Spend about 30 minutes before she falls asleep winding down with low-key activities so she’s more likely to fall asleep.

Schedule her nap in the middle of the day so she’s awake long enough to feel sleepy but not too long that she’s overtired. If you struggle with bedtime transitions, use a timer to track the activities (instead of nagging her through each one).

Offer choices so she feels more invested in the decisions she makes. If she doesn’t, follow through with appropriate consequences and hold her accountable for her behavior. And finally, stay consistent with your routine to make it effective and familiar.

I’m happy to say that our evenings hum along quite smoothly in our house now—no more excuses, whining, or staying up for hours past bedtime.

Get more tips:

• 7 Proven Strategies to Handle Bedtime Tantrums
• What to Do When Your 2 Year Old Wakes Up at Night for Hours
• Top Children’s Books about Bedtime
• How to End Bedtime Battles and Get Your Child to Finally Sleep
• 6 Ways to Resolve Your 2 Year Old Sleep Problems

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