Why Parenting Is Harder than a Typical Job

Does work seem easy compared to raising your child? Discover why parenting is harder than a typical job across many careers.

Parenting Is Harder than a Typical JobMondays couldn’t come fast enough. Whereas my pre-baby self clung onto the weekend, this time, I relished the hours I’d be at work and free from childcare responsibilities.

I had always believed taking care of kids is not for the faint of heart. I read statistics that claimed a stay-at-home parent’s salary—if paid—would be worth at least $100,000. The work put into parenthood often far exceeds the work we do at our paid jobs.

Sure, sometimes being home with the kids felt easier, especially when you can lounge in yoga pants and take the occasional nap. But caring for little ones—especially a new baby—makes even the toughest job pale in comparison.

7 reasons parenting is harder than a typical job

Now, you’ll likely find exceptions, of course. Plenty of people have a toxic or stressful job, leaving them yearning to get home once and for all. Others are in demanding careers that many of us would agree are difficult compared to the average ones.

But for the typical office worker like I was, caring for little ones can be more challenging than even the hardest task you do during the workday.

For instance, I’d take a few days off to “relax” with the kids at home. But by bedtime, I was exhausted, more so than had I come home from work. Weekends were equally tiring, even with my husband home as well.

Taking care of kids had felt much harder than my job, for so many reasons, including these:

1. Taking care of kids is physically more exhausting

Back when I worked in an office, I’d sit at a desk for most of day. You wouldn’t find me doing much heavy lifting or carrying the way I did when I toted my babies around or pushed their stroller everywhere. And while I appreciate the exercise, caring for them clearly became more exhausting than my day job.

I’m sure you can relate. You’re playing games, chasing after your kids, or are on your feet more often than you would be at work. You’re getting smacked in the face from an unintended elbow, or sleeping in two-hour increments at night.

Being home with the kids can be more physically demanding than many day jobs.

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2. Caring for kids is more stressful

For many parents, their day jobs aren’t all too stressful. You have the right balance of drive without feeling drained or depleted.

But parenting can be a whole other story.

You’re trying not to get upset when your 4 month old baby won’t nap, and feel alone and isolated with no adults around. Your toddler shrieks at the top of his lungs and doesn’t listen to anything you say. Never mind the other household tasks you still have to do, and you can imagine why parenting gets hard.

In fact, a study found that women feel more stressed at home than at work, a finding not too shocking for many working parents. Dealing with irritating coworkers is nothing compared to staying calm in the middle of a tantrum.

4 Month Old Baby Won't Nap

3. You don’t have “flow” with kids

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When you’re at work, you’re able to enter “flow,” a term coined by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (whose last name is pronounced “cheeks sent me high”).

In his book, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, he describes flow as what happens when we’re so absorbed in a project that time flies by. He credits this focus as one of the tenets of happiness: Do concentrated work, and you can leave feeling fulfilled and challenged.

The catch? It takes time to enter this flow. Uninterrupted time. Yeah… not exactly easy with kids in tow. With so many distractions, finding joy in the flow is a tough ask.

4. You can’t call in sick

Feeling under the weather? Call in sick from work and you get to stay home to nurse yourself back to health.

But that’s not exactly easy when your home also includes little ones you have to take care of. Not only do you have to handle your regular parenting duties, you have to do it while you’re sick.

As much as your kids understand that you don’t feel well, they still need you to tend to them as well. You can’t tell them to cook their own meals or put themselves to sleep for the night. Just when your body is yearning to rest in bed, someone needs a diaper changed or their school lunch packed.

5. You work around the clock

For many working moms, your job ends once you leave the premises. Sure, you might check email at night or even bring some work home, but there’s a definite time when work ends.

Not so with kids.

We work around the clock, 24/7. If your child needs you in the middle of the night, you get up. If another has spilled the box of cereal all over the kitchen floor, you can’t leave it there until the next morning. And dealing with their behavior can be a never-ending process.

Very few jobs need you to do the same.

For many, you know exactly when you’re done and can shut your mind off of work responsibilities. But parenting means you’re always on call, no matter the time of day (or night).

Learn how to explain to your kids why you work.

How to Explain to Your Kids Why You Work

6. You get no training

Nothing can completely prepare you for parenting, even if you’ve worked with kids in a daycare, or have been a nanny or even cared for a newborn at night. After all, you can always go back to your home at the end of the day.

Not until you become the parent do you then experience what it’s like to be one.

In other jobs, you can dabble and dip your toe in the industry or intern for a company or start working while in college. And while the first day at your “real” job felt overwhelming, you caught on, perhaps within two weeks’ time.

Ask any newborn mom how she’s doing and she’ll likely tell you it takes more than a few weeks to adjust. And even then, you still don’t feel like you have the hang of it.

Adjusting to Motherhood

7. You can’t quit

I’ll admit: I was one of those moms who Googled “I don’t like being a mom” in the middle of the night as I held my fussy baby, trying to soothe him to sleep.

I was desperate, as if all the routine and preparation didn’t even come close to how overwhelming everything felt. How much harder it really was compared to what I imagined (and I imagined the worst). And perhaps the most daunting realization of all: that parents can’t quit.

Parenting isn’t a job you can turn your resignation in after a few months of realizing it’s not a good. You stick with it—you have no choice but to. Even in the hardest of days, you plug on through.

Conclusion

We may not get paid, hear feedback, or receive training. Our days are more physically and mentally exhausting, riddled with guilt, and interrupted with less time to concentrate. We work around the clock, even when we’re sick.

And there’s the startling reminder—especially on those hard days—that we can’t just quit. That our kids need us, no matter how hard, how exhausting, or how incompetent we may feel raising them.

For many of us, no day job we’ve ever had has drawn so much emotion and effort the way being a parent has.

That said, I’m happy to say that it does get easier, albeit on a slower pace than a day job gets easier. So much so that these days, I don’t look forward to Mondays with the same zeal as I used to.

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2 Comments

  1. I don’t have a routine and my baby is 11 weeks old. I get a little anxiety leaving the house, not sure how to time it with feeds and naps. When I do this she will miss a nap or 2, then I’m dealing with an overtired baby. My reactions to her actions are sometimes poor and I harbor extreme guilt because none of her actions are her fault but I can control my reactions but I don’t. I’m afraid I’m creating bad habits and ruining her.

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      I totally know what you mean about feeling anxious leaving the house, especially trying to time it with naps.

      One thing that can help is to focus less on a routine by the clock, and more on a flow. Meaning, you don’t have to put her down for a nap at 9am, feed at 10am, etc. Instead, follow a flow to your day.

      So, let’s say you want to run a quick errand. You can do it after she wakes up (it helps to have everything ready to go beforehand!). When she wakes up, give her a feed and change of diaper, that way she’s ready to go. Then you can go on the quick errand during her awake time. Even if it’s just for 1-1.5 hours, you’re able to squeeze in an outing and make it back in time for her nap. Then, when she wakes up from that nap, you can feed her again.