How to Help Your Child Transition to Preschool

Getting ready for preschool? Discover how to help your child transition to preschool, from weeks before to the big day itself.

Transition to PreschoolWho knew the transition process to preschool could be so tough? And not just for our kids, but for us parents as well.

You might have chosen a preschool several months ago, only to find yourself feeling unprepared for the big day. Perhaps preschool is the first time your child will have regular interactions with other kids, or even apart from you. You might feel pressured to potty train, and worry he won’t know how to do things for himself.

And sure, he’s excited now, but you get a sense that he might have plenty of tears come the big day. No wonder the transition to preschool can feel unnerving for everyone.

How to transition to preschool before the first day

I hear you, friend. Every parent and child has her own way of dealing with this transition. It can often be one of the biggest changes in your child’s life so far, so no wonder you want to get it right.

I want to share with you what has helped me as my own kids entered preschool. These are based on successes as well as mistakes I wish I hadn’t done. I broke the article down into two parts: before the first day of school and on the first day itself.

Let’s take a look at what you can do now as you count down to the big day:

1. Visit the preschool with your child

Many kids entering preschool (like mine) have never had formal group settings in the past. If your child is in daycare, she might have better luck adjusting, but even then, visiting the school can help make it more familiar to her.

Bring her with you on tours if you haven’t made a selection yet. Have her tag along with you to drop off applications or paperwork you may have.

And ask the school if she can drop in on a class a week or two before her first day. You can sit with her during those hours, and it can expose her to their routine while still having the safety of you nearby.

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Letters and Numbers: A Handwriting Workbook to Help Your Child Recognize Letters and Numbers

2. Get your child excited with school materials

An exciting part about going to school is the new school materials she gets to take with her. At this stage, her materials will likely be minimal, but even these can be a fun change to her new routine.

A few items you can get include:

  • Backpack
  • Lunch bag
  • Reusable lunch containers and utensils
  • Reusable water bottle
  • An outfit for the first day

Get a head start and grab these school items before the first day.

3. Describe the typical preschool day

Ask the preschool for their daily schedule so that you can give your child clues on what might take place. Some typical scenarios include:

  • The items she might play with, like play dough, puzzles, and blocks
  • Eating snacks and lunch
  • Playing at the playground outdoors
  • Sitting down for story time
  • Taking a midday nap
  • Painting and coloring
  • Putting her backpack in the cubby

4. Play pretend school at home

Create a scene at home where you’re at “school.” You can even let her be the teacher. Do school work, go to the park for “recess,” or show her how to share. You can even use preschool lingo in your everyday conversation, like gathering books for “story time” or creating crafts for “art class.”

Play games like Simon Says and Red Light Green Light, and sing popular nursery rhymes, especially the ones that include body motion, like:

  • Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes
  • Hokey Pokey
  • Itsy Bitsy Spider
  • Wheels on the Bus

And introduce words and numbers through simple games, even those you make up out of the blue. For instance, you can:

  • Find things at home that start with the first letter of her name
  • Take turns rolling a ball back and forth while saying a letter from the alphabet with each roll
  • Try to come up with as many rhyming words as you can (“What rhymes with ‘bat’?”)

5. Read books about going to preschool

Borrow or buy books about kids going to preschool so your child can see other characters feeling the same as her. She also realizes that many of her peers go to preschool and that the experience can be fun.

Besides picture books about preschool, read children’s books about separation anxiety. These address the impending separation between kids and their parents and can help her cope with her emotions.

6. Encourage self-sufficiency

Have you been doing nearly everything for your child? Start letting go and allow him to become more independent. While teachers are there to help, you can boost his confidence by teaching him how to do some things for himself, such as:

  • Feeding himself
  • Grabbing his own napkins and utensils
  • Cleaning up spills and messes
  • Putting on and removing his jacket
  • Opening and closing food containers
  • Returning books and toys to where they belong

7. Consider part-time preschool

Worried that a full day of preschool might be too much for your child? Consider part-time preschool. Many preschools offer flexible schedules, both for those who need full-day care as well as for those who may not need as many hours.

You might enroll her for a few days a week, like Mondays through Wednesdays. Or you could enroll her for half the day, like 8am to noon. You can even start part-time before enrolling full-time. This way, she gets a taste of school without spending the whole day there.

How to transition to preschool on the first day

It’s the big day! You’ve done all you could to prepare your child to transition to preschool, and now the time is here. How can you better your chances of a fun, positive experience for her? Take a look at these tips to make that first day a smooth one:

8. Get good sleep and a healthy breakfast

Start the day off right by preparing the night before! Make sure that your child gets enough sleep so she wakes up alert and happy. Give her plenty of time to get ready in the morning—adjust your bedtime and wake up time as needed.

Then, start the day with a hearty and healthy breakfast so she’s fueled for the day. Stick to a simple meal that won’t upset her tummy, but is a favorite of hers.

By ensuring that she’s well-rested and fed, she has two fewer obstacles that could make her cranky.

9. Pack your child’s favorite food for lunch

Help make your child’s day brighter by packing some of her favorite food for lunch and snack time.

Balance this with making sure that she can easily feed herself. Spaghetti might be her favorite, but this could make a big mess. Or, if you think she’d like spaghetti, cut the noodles into smaller pieces so she can feed herself easier.

Even better: practice how to use these lunch items at home before school starts. That way, she knows how to open and close her food containers and snacks.

10. Give your child a token of yourself

Most schools discourage kids from bringing items from home (they tend to get lost). That said, find something simple your child can hold onto during the day. For instance, your hair band to put around her wrist, or a written note from you to tuck into her pocket.

Let her know you plan to get it back from her when you see her again after school—a reminder for her that you’ll come back.

Another idea is to give her transitional objects that she treasures, from a favorite bracelet to a small lovey tucked in her backpack.

11. Leave kindly, calmly, and swiftly

Here’s the thing with saying goodbye: despite your own inner turmoil, you have to do your best to appear calm and composed. Your confidence can rub off on your child—if she sees that you trust her school enough to leave her there, she can feel less anxious about staying.

Then, leave when you say you’re leaving—don’t linger. Even if she’s in tears crying out your name and the teacher is barely able to keep her contained, keep walking and don’t turn around. Sobbing and whimpering yourself sends a bad message that this parting is a bad one.

It’s really not, however much of a milestone it may be. It’s a good experience for her as well as for yourself. Reserve your exuberance for when you see her again after school when you’re reunited.

Conclusion

You did it: you dropped your child off at preschool. She may have cried (and you may have done so as well in the car), but you pulled it off and properly sent her to her first day at school.

Remember that the first few weeks can be an adjustment. It’s more abnormal if nothing goes wrong, from regression at home to tantrums and outbursts. And brace yourself for your child getting sick. If this is her first exposure to other kids, expect her to get sick at some point at school.

Yes, it might be rough.

But then you’ll find yourself in a rhythm, and the faces at school become familiar. You might even be able to ask her about school and hear details about everything that goes on. Preschool can soon be a positive factor in her life—and your family’s.

p.s. Check out Llama Llama Misses Mama by Anna Dewdney, a fantastic children’s book about easing your child’s separation anxiety at preschool:

Llama Llama Misses Mama by Anna Dewdney

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Don’t forget: Join my newsletter and grab these sample worksheets below—at no cost to you:

Letters and Numbers: A Handwriting Workbook to Help Your Child Recognize Letters and Numbers

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2 Comments

  1. My son is almost 3 years old and just started preschool. It’s been so hard! I thought he would love to have teachers and friends to play with. He has meltdowns every single day. This is his 4th week at the preschool and I feel like the teachers and director are getting tired of his behavior. He can’t enter the school if he’s crying, so we have to walk him around until he calms down, which doesn’t happen most of the time. The school is great! Small with a small amount of kids, very well organized. I will be so sad if he doesn’t get used it. I get nervous and anxious every day while he is there, because I don’t know how will be when I pick him up. Most of the days he cries at pick up as well! We keep talking to him about school, how nice it’s, how many nice friends he has. He seems to understand, but in morning, it’s always the same! At this point I am almost giving up, but I don’t want to.

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      It sounds like you’re doing all you can to help him adjust. One thing that has helped me is to be pretty relaxed about it. Try talking about it less and see if that helps him feel less anxious. Or maybe ask open-ended questions like, “What do you like about school? What’s hard about school?” And show empathy and simply listen to what he says and what he must be feeling. Sometimes they feel more anxious when they sense that we’re making a fuss about it. But when we dial it down a notch, they start to see that maybe it’s not so bad, that it’s not such a big deal.