How to Make Time for Yourself (Even If You Have Kids!)

Not sure how to make time for yourself with children in tow? Check out these practical tips on how to make time for yourself as a mom.

How to Make Time for YourselfMoms, we spend a lot of our time working, caring for kids, and cleaning our homes.

You prepare breakfast, get the kids ready for school, juggle work, and deal with endless to-do lists. Any breaks you get feel like you ought to do even more, to stay productive. To get one step ahead of the hours that seem to slip so quickly.

So much so that any free time to yourself—exercise, old hobbies, even getting a cup of coffee—gets pushed to the bottom of the list.

Never mind that you see other moms continue to pursue hobbies and somehow find time for themselves. They’re exercising, baking, catching up on books—meanwhile, you’re ready to crash for the day.

And even if you’ve heard the common advice to have a life outside the kids, you don’t exactly know how to make that happen.

How to make time for yourself as a parent

As demanding as life as a mom can be, finding time for yourself is still crucial, not only for your well-being but for that of your family. After all, they’d rather have a well-balanced, happy mom than one who “gets things done” but is always stressed and frazzled.

What are some tips on how to make time for yourself, even as a busy mom? And what are a few reasons why you need alone time to recharge? Check out a few “me time” ideas you can do:

1. Find a hobby you can do at home

Maybe you were once an avid wine taster or a hiking fanatic. Or you’d hit the waves on your surfboard or attend a concert with friends.

As a mom, you may not have too many opportunities for certain hobbies and passions. You can’t exactly carve three hours to drive to the beach, much less take the kids with you for wine tasting.

But what if you focus on hobbies you can do at home?

For instance, you might dust the old piano or head to the backyard to do some gardening. You can borrow books from the library, find 30-minute fitness videos online, or learn how to bake a loaf of bread.

Find or rekindle a hobby you can do at home, which are more feasible than those that need you to head outside.

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2. Do fun things after the kids are asleep

Do you go to bed at the same time as the kids? Put them to bed at a consistently earlier hour so you can use the time between your bedtimes for yourself. If their bedtime is 7:30pm and yours is at 10pm, you get to enjoy 2.5 hours of quiet time to yourself.

With the kids tucked in bed, you can read, watch movies, or pour yourself wine and eat cheese and crackers.

Many evenings get swallowed up by tasks and catch-up chores, so be intentional with setting certain nights to yourself. You might dedicate Friday evenings to movies at home, or the first 15 minutes of every night to a knitting project.

Learn 7 reasons you’re not enjoying motherhood.

Not Enjoying Motherhood

3. Do fun things with the kids

Can’t get away from the kids? Do fun things with them.

I know, I know… this doesn’t count as “time for yourself.” But if you’re looking for time to do fun things—anything besides chores and tasks—doing them with your kids can be the next best thing.

You don’t have to dedicate whole weekends, either. Plenty of downtime can be all it takes, from setting up a picnic in the backyard to playing board games in the living room.

Life doesn’t have to be devoid of everything you used to enjoy before becoming a mom. You just need to learn how to accommodate your kids.

4. Keep your home reasonably clean

Are you compelled to scrub the sink or wipe the stove each time so much as a smudge appears? As satisfying as it might be to keep a clean home, learn to let a lot of it go if it means finding more time for yourself.

Maybe that means you vacuum once a week instead of every day, or skip ironing a few clothes and hang them up straight from the dryer.

For many of us, our homes won’t be as sparkling clean as they might have been before we had kids. And we need to be okay with that—a reasonably clean home is more than fine. Set boundaries around the chores you’ll do on a daily, weekly, and seasonal basis.

Learn 6 reasons you can’t keep up with cleaning your home.

Can't Keep Up with Cleaning Your Home

5. Teach your kids to be more independent

One of the biggest reasons you might not have much time for yourself is because your kids need you 24/7.

Now, changing your toddler’s diaper or cooking their meals clearly need your help. But see which tasks and activities they can do themselves, even if it means spending more time upfront teaching them how to do so.

For instance, you might encourage them to:

  • Play a game together
  • Grab their own plates or utensils
  • Read a book on their own
  • Get dressed
  • Play in the backyard
  • Brush their teeth

The more independent your kids can be, the more time you have to yourself.

That said, age matters, too. Older kids are more independent, easier to take out and about, and can last longer in the day. Making time for yourself with a young infant is a difficult task that will eventually ease up as the months go by.

Learn how to raise an independent toddler.

Independent Toddler

6. Spend time with friends and family

Spending time with others outside your immediate family can often take the backseat. After all, dedicating an hour and a half to a yoga class with friends eats up a chunk of your night. Never mind that your kids won’t exactly sleep in the next morning, leaving you more exhausted.

But friendships—connections, really—are important enough to mark your commitments on a calendar. They’ll give you a moment of respite, a reminder that you’re loved and belong. They’ll make you laugh, allow you to vent, and reassure you that you’re not alone.

Spending time with others also doesn’t have to happen frequently, either. Yes, you may have spent more time with friends back in college, but these days, once in a while hangouts are more than enough.

7. Have play dates with friends who have kids

Spending time with friends still making you feel guilt and anxiety for being away from the kids? Combine the two and have a play date with their kids!

I love the dynamic of “family” play dates with friends of your own. You get to spend time with them while encouraging your kids to make or nurture friendships of their own. Hanging out with friends who have kids of their own is a fantastic way to enjoy your time.

Conclusion

To think that life can remain the same with kids in the picture is unrealistic. Life changes with kids. For many of us, becoming a parent is the single biggest change we’ll face. Accept it, work with it, but remember that this is a new role we now have.

But here’s something I want to leave you with: you have to believe that you can make the time for yourself.

Have you met busy people? They’re the ones who have so much to do, but all that extra work still leaves them just as busy as they started off. People get stuck with a busy schedule. No time management tools, apps, journal prompts, or motivation can get them out of their rut.

We can always make or find the time for things that are important to us, including time for ourselves. Start a hobby you can do at home, or do fun things after the kids are asleep. If you can’t get away from them, do fun things with them.

Teach them to be more independent, from doing tasks to entertaining themselves. Keep your home reasonably—not impeccably—clean. Spend time with friends and family, like hanging out with friends who have kids.

Being a mom is busy, but we can’t let ourselves believe that having no time for ourselves is our lot for a long while. Because even in the middle of a busy day, we can still catch a glimmer of joy, contentment, and a bit of “me time” as a mom.

Time Management for Moms

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2 Comments

  1. I enjoy being a mom so much but there are days where I miss the time for me. Time to work out, time to see friends for lunch or dinner or a drink, or sometimes I even miss working to have my mind in other things as well. I think what I’m struggling with lately is that my husband works a lot and barely helps with the baby. I have my mom and dad who help me a lot, and while physically I may be accompanied, I feel lonely in the inside because the person I need most is barely here. I feel like he doesn’t appreciate everything I do because he knows my family helps me and it’s easy for me, which is not.

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      Hi Maria, I totally know what you mean about feeling alone. It means so much to have your spouse be on board as much as possible. Meaning, even if he does work outside the home, that he still spends his free time being the baby. I’ve learned that talking about it helps, especially if you start the conversation by sharing what you appreciate about him, followed by how he can best support you and the baby.

      And yes, that time alone is precious! I remember savoring a cup of tea, drinking it as slowly as I wanted, because I was at work and not with the baby lol!