How to Get Your Child to Stop Talking in Class
Is your child talking in class too much? Learn effective strategies for helping kids control their talking and stay focused in the classroom.
The dreaded teacher’s note.
As usual, it says your child has been disrupting the whole class again with his nonstop talking. He’s been getting in trouble nearly every day for talking when he’s not supposed to. And since he’s social and loves attention, it’s like he’s “rewarded” for these behavior problems.
It doesn’t help that you’re not there in the classroom to monitor, much less discipline right then and there.
If this sounds all too familiar, read on. You can still do plenty at home to help him stop talking in class so much, as well as work with his teacher to come up with in-class solutions.
Take a look at these tips:
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Find the deeper reason
Talking in class doesn’t always mean a lack of eagerness to learn, the inability to do well in school, or that your child is out to cause trouble. Finding the reasons he talks so much in class allows you to dig deep and address those issues instead of focusing only on the talking.
He could be talking in class because he…
- feels like that’s the only time he gets attention, whether from the teacher or his classmates.
- feels bored with the material at school.
- is too challenged with the lesson he’s learning at school.
- sits next to a talkative friend.
- needs frequent physical activities.
- is entering school (and is the first time he’s competing for attention with other children).
As you can see, the reasons aren’t as obnoxious as you might have first assumed. By finding possible culprits, you can prevent and address these issues before he feels compelled to talk out of turn.
If he needs frequent, physical breaks, his teacher can make sure he remains active, has plenty of hands-on activities, and gets the “jiggles” out. Appropriate work for his academic level as well as sitting away from fellow talkative friends can help as well.
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Ask open ended questions to come up with solutions
Kids have a knack for not only coming up with their own solutions, but sticking to them because they came up with it. Before doling out your own suggestions, ask open ended questions to help your child brainstorm a few guidelines of her own.
You might ask:
- “What happens when you’re talking in class and you can’t hear the teacher’s instructions?”
- “What are the classroom rules about turn-taking or talking out of turn?”
- “How might your behavior cause problems for your friends?”
- “What can you do to concentrate more in class?”
The answers to these questions can give you valuable insight. Then, encourage her to come up with ideas on how to solve these problems. If she can’t or doesn’t want to, suggest a few of your own. She can…
- fold or sit on her hands when she feels the urge to talk.
- raise her hand before talking.
- write her thoughts on a piece of paper first.
- look the person in the eye before talking.
Or let’s say she tries to be the “class clown” as a way to get the approval of her peers. Ask her what she thinks being a good friend means or how her behavior might be disrupting her friends from learning. Suggest other times in the day she could make her friends laugh, like at lunch or recess.
You’re allowing her to own her problems—and the solutions to them—instead of trying to solve them yourself.
Practice turn-taking and back-and-forth conversations
Your child likely has so many ideas flowing through his mind that he finds any opportunity to share them with others. While sharing ideas is fantastic, so is listening, especially because it’s an act of respect, curiosity, and friendship.
One way to encourage a fair exchange of dialogue is to practice turn-taking at home. This teaches him how to wait and listen, allowing him to practice controlling his impulses.
For instance, stop him from interrupting conversations. Hold up a finger or hand as a sign that it’s not his turn to talk yet, and continue with what you’re saying (or encourage the person speaking to keep going). If need be, briefly stop the conversation and explain that you’re not done talking yet.
Do this naturally and respectfully, and not like he did something wrong. It’d be as natural as telling him “It’s Saturday.” Avoid placing guilt—you’re simply stating a fact.
You can also play games that involve taking turns. Board games make for a fun turn-taking activity, or make your own games where you each take turns listening and telling a story. Another idea is to read a book together, taking turns to read the pages aloud (you read one page, he reads the next).
Praise your child for good behavior
Despite his constant talking, your child will at some point be able to contain the urge to interrupt. During these times, praise him when you catch him behaving well and not speaking out of turn.
You might say, “Thank you for waiting until your brother finished his story before talking.” Or “I noticed that you listened and followed my instructions.”
Ask his teacher to do the same, even if it’s just a quick whisper of acknowledgment that he waited to speak. Praising the positive behavior you want to see is far more effective than correcting the ones you don’t.
Have your child write their thoughts first
Sometimes, kids feel an urge to talk out of turn because they assume they won’t remember their thoughts if they don’t say it at that moment. When your child feels this urge, have her write her thoughts instead.
By writing it down—even a few key words—she now has something to refer to when the appropriate time to speak comes up. She feels reassured that she won’t forget what she has to say while giving other people a chance to finish speaking.
Encourage her to keep a small notepad in her pocket to record these thoughts and let her teacher in on the plan. Should she feel the urge to share a new idea, she can jot it down first before blurting it out at an inappropriate time.
With enough practice, she might even find that her impulse control has developed so much that she won’t need to write her thoughts each time. She’ll realize that she can simply hold her thoughts and wait for her turn to speak. Better yet, she’ll become a more curious listener and give the speaker her full attention.
Avoid making talking a bad thing
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At the end of the day, talking a lot is not a bad thing. I’d hate for any child to think she got punished for talking or to associate voicing her opinion, speaking up, or sharing her ideas as something negative.
Besides, plenty of parents wish their kids talked more in class, not less.
While you’re teaching your child how to take turns and pay attention, don’t discourage his enthusiasm to express himself, either. That’s a positive trait in itself, after all. The problem isn’t about talking a lot as it is knowing the appropriate times to do so.
A great book to read is My Mouth Is a Volcano by Julia Cook. The story explains why kids interrupt and how they can find a way to stop.
Conclusion
No parent wants to see the dreaded note or to have the after-school conversation about her child talking in class too much. Thankfully, you can do plenty to change this behavior in your child, even if you’re apart during the day. Talking is a great skill, but so is listening, and the ability to know when to do each one.
Get more tips:
- What to Do When Your Child Cries at School Drop Off
- Is Your Child Rejected by Peers? Here’s What to Do
- 8 Strategies for Teaching Sight Words
- How to Deal with a Child That Cries Over Everything
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