How to Take Care of Twins Alone

What do you do when you’re the only one home with your twin babies? Get sanity-saving tips on how to take care of twins alone.

How to Take Care of Twins AloneNearly every mom of twins is unanimous when it comes to the number one advice she’d give: Get help from others. But what if you don’t have that network to rely on? Your family and friends may be miles away or your partner needs to go back to work right away.

Or fast forward a few months later when all the visitors have trickled away and your partner’s leave has finally ended. At some point, you’ll face a time when you’ll need to care for two babies, all by yourself. Easy enough when others are around to help, but not so much when you’re all alone.

I was pretty lucky: Both my family and in-laws live near enough, so we had help during those early weeks. But even then, I was still surprised at how quickly I found myself alone with the twins, especially after my husband’s paternity leave finished.

What can you do when you find yourself alone with the twins? Take a look at these tips that helped:

1. Get gear that makes life with newborn twins easier

Disclosure: This article contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

As a new twin mom, you’ll wish you had an extra pair of arms to carry one baby while you hold the other. While you can’t grow a new pair of arms, you can do the next best thing: replicate that feeling. Here are a few helpful items:

  • The swing was my go-to gear when I needed to put one baby down while I held the other.
  • A baby wrap or carrier was yet another item that freed up my arms for at least one baby.
  • Infant seats next to each other (or even twin nursing pillows like the Twin Z pillow) allow you to nurse or bottle feed the babies at the same time (once they can hold their heads up).

As a twin parent, you have permission to get any baby gear that can make life easier, especially if you’re learning how to take care of twins alone.

There were many days when I was alone with the twins all day until my husband came home. I couldn’t be shy about using gear that could save my sanity and make my days go much easier.

Free printables: Want a handy printable of all the items you’ll need for your twins? Join my newsletter and grab your copy of Twin Registry Must-Haves to keep track of what you have during pregnancy and the items you still need to get. Grab it below—at no cost to you:

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2. Join a multiples group

While you may not have relatives and friends in the area, you can begin to nurture relationships with others nearby who can help, like a multiples group. You’ll meet other expecting moms or those further along who can offer advice, moral support, and even hand-me-down gear and help when you need it.

If you don’t have a multiples group nearby, find a regular moms group to join. While they don’t know what it’s like to carry or care for twins, they can be a great source of friendship and resources.

And see if your moms group can rotate bringing meals to anyone who has given birth (called “meal trains”). You’d create an ongoing list and take turns preparing meals so new moms always have something to eat during those hectic early weeks.

Another option is to befriend other parents with babies or about to deliver babies the same age as your twins in childbirth classes. Even if they’re not twin parents, they can provide immense support and friendship throughout the years.

If you can’t find any local groups, join online ones for moral support and advice. Even if you don’t connect face to face, you can post a question or vent about topics non-twin moms may not understand.

Check out telltale signs that you’re a twin mom.

twin mom

3. Ask family members to come for extended visits

See if your family members and friends can come and stay for an extended period of time. Even if they don’t live nearby, you might have someone who can stay for a while. This can be your parents, grandparents, friends, siblings, or anyone who’d like to visit longer than usual.

I know many parents who have done this, both with twins and singletons. My own mom, even though she lives a few miles away, stayed for several weeks, especially when my husband had to go back to work.

Extended visitors are more helpful than weekend visitors because they’ll come to know your twins and daily routines. You won’t have to explain where to find wipes or which twin finds comfort with the pacifier. Your live-in family or friend will likely know it almost as well as you do.

Read 12 rules people should follow when visiting a new mom.

Visiting a New Mom

4. Regularly call your family and friends

If you have no family or friends nearby, do the next best thing and call them on a regular basis. It seems silly, but make a list of people you can call and check them off each time you need to talk to someone.

For those you feel comfortable with, ask if you can call them at any hour of the day. Sometimes you have a question about getting your baby to sleep at 2am, or are about to break down and cry at dinner time. Not all people may be available at any hour, but it’s good to know they’re available for you.

And sometimes you need that moral support to let you know you’re doing a great job! Just because it took you forever to put the twins down for a nap doesn’t mean you’re a terrible mom. Often, it’s the support and encouragement we need to remind us how well we’re doing.

Learn how to take care of twins and still get stuff done.

How to Take Care of Twins

5. Prepare freezer food now

Many twin moms who’ve had to go at it alone admitted that getting something to eat was one of the most time-consuming task they had. Not to mention expensive, if the only alternative is to eat take out or delivery meals.

That’s why they all said preparing freezer food now is a must. You’ll always have dinner on hand and won’t have to worry about what to feed yourself or your family.

Another option to freezer meals are slow cooker recipes. You’ll still need buy ingredients, but you can toss many recipes together in the morning and know it’ll be ready a few hours later. No need to stand over the stove to make your meals!

6. Outsource help

If you have the budget, hiring help can make a huge difference.

  • A nanny usually works full or part time hours during the day and can help care for the twins. You won’t have to figure out how to take care of twins alone with someone right there by your side. And you’ll want to hire a nanny who has had experience caring for twins in the past.
  • A night nurse is like a nanny but comes to your house in the evenings and throughout the night. Her job is to care for the twins so you can get as much sleep and rest as possible. Even if you still need to wake up to nurse, she can help burp and hold the babies and soothe them when they’re fussy.
  • A babysitter can offer once-in-a-while relief and help when you need it. Sometimes all you need is a night out with your partner or an afternoon to yourself. Hiring an experienced babysitter (one who has cared for twins alone) can be all you need.
  • A cleaning service can take a lot of the household work off your shoulders so you can focus on the twins or catch the rest you need. Even if you don’t normally hire a cleaning service, you might consider budgeting for a few sessions during the early months.
  • And finally, a mother’s helper usually comes to your home for a few hours a day to do light work or babysitting. She might be your neighbor’s teenage daughter or a local college student. She could help by playing with your older child, tidying up in the kitchen, or feeding and holding the babies.

7. Get to know your neighbors

I’m such an introvert that I didn’t really know the names of my neighbors. But for anyone who has to go it alone with two babies, getting to know your neighbors can be so helpful.

One time, I was freaking out as a first-time mom when my then-infant son was having issues with bowel movements. I knocked on our neighbors’ doors asking if they had prune juice. No one did, but one family was so kind that they drove to our local grocery store and bought one for me.

So, while neighbors may not come over to babysit the twins, they can be helpful for little things like buying or lending items you need.

If you’re shy like me, remind yourself that most people enjoy helping others. You might be surprised at the kindness you’ll find from your neighbors.

8. Get out of the house often

Getting out of the house with twins is no easy feat. You’ve got the diaper bag, the double stroller, and all their little gadgets to keep them happy. They can fuss at any time, leaving you frantic or even self-conscious as you juggle your crying babies.

But getting out of the house can help you so much more than staying home all day. Even if it seems easier to stay in, it’ll do you good to break up your day to have something to do.

I stayed indoors the first month with the twins, leaving only for doctor’s appointments. Those early weeks were pure survival mode, and I needed to focus on rest and keeping my babies indoors.

But after those initial weeks, it felt so much better to be out of the house, even for a walk around the block. It also gave me something to do when the twins were fussy (they’d often stop fussing the minute we were outside in the fresh air).

Get tips on how to be out and about with twins.

Out with Twins Alone

9. Work as a team

Having a baby can cause friction for any marriage or partnership—now imagine two babies! Work as a team, even if he’s out of the house and you’re alone with the twins. You can even discuss them now before the twins arrive so you have a better understanding of what to do when the time comes.

After all, you both likely have the same intentions and goals. Always talk things through. Schedule regular daily chats if need be, but don’t keep things inside—your partner can’t read your mind. Otherwise you’ll end up sighing and rolling your eyes, hoping he picks up your clues, only to burst in the end.

Communicate both the good and the bad. Be each other’s cheerleaders when you need it, and be open and honest about any thoughts you may have. You’re a team for a reason!

10. Prepare ahead of time

When you’re alone, you won’t have the convenience of hollering to someone to please fetch the diaper cream or pacifier.

Think ahead of what you might need within the next few moments. If you’re giving the twins a bath, lay out all their outfits ahead of time so you don’t have to scramble as you leave the bathroom. Open the jar of diaper cream and lay the diapers flat.

Or if you’re bottle-feeding after a nap, lay out your twin pillow, prepare the formulas, and grab the burp cloth long before you even set them down.

Over time, you’ll develop your own routine. You’ll know exactly what items you need and which events follow one another. Develop these routines so you can run on autopilot.

Conclusion

Phew! We covered a lot. But hopefully you can see how doable taking care of twins alone can be. It’s not picture perfect, and you’ll find yourself near tears or scrambling throughout the day. But you’ll also be doing a fantastic job, one few people can truly understand.

And a big part of that is getting it done—we have no choice but to. Our biggest obstacles often push us to be our strongest. Twin moms who’ve had to care for their babies alone have admitted that doing it is one of the best ways to feel confident.

As hard as it can be, you now have the resources to make it a whole lot easier. I wish every twin mom had a village to rely on, but as you can see, you’ll also do fine, with or without one.

When Do Twins Get Easier?

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4 Comments

  1. Wow great comprhensive advice for going it alone! Two things that I just thought of are
    1. buy whatever you can online, start making digital shopping list at your favorite online store and then it is easy to shop and receive necessities on your doorstep!
    2. Discuss with your spouse ahead of time about making time for yourself. You will need an hour or two a week to get out of the house without babies in order to keep your sanity. Maybe in the early weeks just getting a nap or shower will do.

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      Thanks Amber, and I LOVE your tips! I’m all about online shopping too, hehe. Especially for recurring purchases like diapers—it can save so much time. And such a great reminder to put it out there to have time for yourself. It seems crazy or even undoable, but considering that mom and dad are the primary and often, only caregivers for twins, it’s a must that each parent especially mom gets time for themselves. I remember how awesome it was to just drive to the pharmacy to get medicine for the baby, or taking a walk around the block.

  2. My twins Aven(G) and Aden(B) are almost 3 now. It blows my mind that I helped create something so beautiful. It also blows my mind that I’ve kept them alive and healthy this long. I don’t handle emotional stress very well and I wasn’t raised around children so as soon as i hear a child cry or whine I get stressed out. I have moments i can’t help but tear up so I sneak into the bathroom and just let it out.

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      I hear ya, Teri! I’m the youngest in my family and wasn’t around babies much, so everything was definitely “learn on the job” for me 🙂 It’s totally normal to feel overwhelmed with the responsibilities of parenthood, and that’s good you’re able to vent it out. Keep up the good work, mama!