Deciding to send your child to preschool can be a difficult choice. Take a look at these preschool pros and cons to help you make your decision.
Should you send your child to preschool?
Let me start by saying I’ve enrolled all three of my kids in preschool since asking myself that question. And I couldn’t be happier with my decision.
Still, if someone were to ask me whether they should send their child to preschool, I wouldn’t give a definitive “yes.” Instead, I’d say it depends on many factors.
Because each family has their own unique circumstances, each child has his own needs. So even though I went the preschool route, I’m also not blind to many of its downsides.
Preschool pros and cons
To help you decide whether to send your child to preschool or not, below is a list of preschool pros and cons. These are the actual points I brought up myself as I was trying to decide whether to send my son to preschool.
Hopefully you’ll find it as useful as fellow mom Laura did, when she wrote:
“Thank you, Nina, for this article. Trying to decide about preschool and this was helpful.”
First, let’s start with what I love about preschool…
A learning environment that can be difficult to replicate at home
I’m all for downtime, free play, and the value kids get from tinkering right at home. At the same time, I found that preschool offers children a learning environment that can be pretty difficult to emulate at home.
Preschool is structured with a curriculum. Even if you have a routine in place at home, you’d need to be intentional with teaching your child the skills other kids learn at school. My kids learn so much at school that I would never even think of teaching or introducing to them myself.
For example, they’ve learned to read and write much earlier than I would’ve expected myself to begin teaching them. They’ve also explored states and capitals, do daily art activities and sing and dance to songs. While these are things I might’ve done at home, I certainly wouldn’t do them as consistently.
A place to practice social skills
While occasional play dates or even daily trips to the park offer kids a chance to socialize, sometimes it’s not enough. At preschool, your child will be with the same kids all the time, allowing them to develop deeper friendships and practice social skills.
Play dates and park outings also include too much adult interference. We often make the mistake of stepping in too quickly before letting kids resolve their own conflict.
But at preschool, kids are more likely to interact with one another without the teacher’s hawk-like supervision. And this is a good thing! Your child will be able to experience and practice what it’s like to interact with her peers, all on her own.
Read more about why you shouldn’t solve your child’s social conflicts.
Relationships with other trusted adults
Is your child extra clingy with you? Being the primary caregiver can mean your child has a difficult time being with other adults. Even family and friends can feel foreign to her, especially when she has grown so used to being with you and only you.
Enrolling your child in preschool gives her an opportunity to develop relationships with other adults. She’ll begin to trust others in your place, and feel reassured that she’ll be okay even without you nearby.
Your child will talk and listen to other adults more often, from voicing her concerns to complying when the teacher needs her to. She’ll also learn to wait, especially when she realizes she’s not the only child calling for her teacher’s attention.
Read 5 tips to handle a clingy toddler.
Exposure to new experiences
“We went inside a police car!” my four-year-old told me after school one day. Not only did a police car visit their school, but so did a fire truck, complete with presentations from the officers.
Events like these expose kids to new experiences that I wouldn’t be able to offer on my own at home. They’ve also grown caterpillars into butterflies, held performances, and learned gymnastics and yoga.
Even though I try to introduce my kids to new experiences and places, I like how their preschool does so as well, and in ways I may not be able to do at home.
Preparation for school
At its roots, preschool is an environment that prepares your child for kindergarten and regular school. Daycare staff and nannies don’t always provide this kind of preparation—things like:
- Following the teacher’s instructions
- Playing with other children
- Waking up to get to school on time
- Eating lunch away from home
- Listening and learning in class
Preschool bridges the gap between home and schoolPreschool bridges the gap between home and big kids school, so that once they’re ready for regular school, the transition will be much smoother.
Read more about how to prepare your child for preschool.
Now that you’ve seen the benefits of preschool, what are a few downsides you might run into?
Difficult schedule
Some preschools may be less flexible with schedules, from how many days they want your child to attend, to the hours they can be in school.
For instance, one school I visited needed my son to attend four days in a row—they were pretty inflexible with allowing three days. Others were only available from 9am-12pm, with expensive before and after school options.
With a 3pm dismissal, I had to rush to leave work early enough to pick them up on time. Even a 6pm dismissal can be difficult for some parents to meet, especially if they work late hours or drive long commutes.
High costs
Preschool doesn’t come cheap. In some cases, enrolling your child in preschool can be more expensive than hiring a nanny or asking a relative to care for your child.
Besides a monthly tuition, you might be responsible for registration fees, deposits, or school supplies. Some preschools also increase tuition every year that your child attends.
When you’ve got twins like I do, preschool costs can come steep!
Kids getting sick
My eldest hardly got sick before going to preschool. In fact, he didn’t get sick at all his first year, and only a handful of times after that.
But within his first month of preschool, he got sick so often that he only attended half the month.
If you decide to enroll your child in preschool and he hasn’t been exposed to other kids regularly, be prepared to take days off to care for him at home. It’s not uncommon for kids to get sick often once they’re with other kids every day.
Thankfully, we didn’t run into this problem when the twins enrolled in school. They’d already been exposed to the germs from their older brother, building up immunity long before they entered preschool.
Get tips on how to keep your kids from getting sick at school.
Challenging drop-offs
As with any transitions, those initial drop-offs in the morning can be tough for both you and your child.
This is a huge change for both of you, but especially for her. She may be harboring separation anxiety, or isn’t so certain when you’ll come back. She’s unsure of her new teachers and classmates, and that can make for difficult mornings and drop-offs.
Meanwhile, you might be flooded with guilt, asking yourself if you’ve made the right decision about preschool. Your whole day can feel heavy with your own anxiety of how your child will cope.
Even after your child has adjusted to school, she still might have those days when she doesn’t want to go to school. She might throw a tantrum right when you’re already running late for work, or put up a fight and insist on staying home instead.
Thankfully those are rare, and the initial adjustment is temporary. But be prepared to handle your child’s behavior and possible regressions during this period.
Take a look at this video, where I share what you can do to help your child if she cries at school drop off:
Packing school lunches and toiletries
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One of the things I loved about having a nanny is that everything was already at home. From meals to diapers, she had everything she needed when she came to our house. She even had all the tools at her disposal to prepare their meals, or could heat leftovers to eat.
With preschool, you’ll be responsible for packing your child’s lunch every day, including utensils and ice packs. And not all preschools are willing to heat school lunches. You might be limited to packing thermoses of hot food or cold meals like sandwiches.
Besides meals, you might also need to pack pull-ups (if your child isn’t potty-trained yet), spare clothes, blankets, and sheets.
Get 20 lunch ideas to pack for school.
Conclusion
After this summer, the boys will have one more full year of preschool before entering public school. Preschool will be a smaller community than what I know will face them when they leave.
They’ve excelled so much, from learning to read and write, to making good friends. I already know it’ll be a bittersweet moment, more so than when my eldest left. Because this time, it’ll be final—we have no other kids to enroll, and goodbye will really mean goodbye.
As I mentioned in the beginning, I enrolled all three kids in preschool, so you know where I stand—this was the right choice for me. Hopefully you’ve gathered a balanced view nonetheless and can decide whether preschool is the right choice for you, too.
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Get more tips:
- Help Your Child Transition to Preschool (and Calm Your Nerves as Well!)
- Creating an After School Routine for Preschoolers
- How to Create a Math Rich Environment at Home
- Top Ways to Help Kids Remember What They Learn
Tell me in the comments: What are the preschool pros and cons you’re weighing? Whether you chose preschool or not, what were the deciding factors that helped you make the decision?
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It’s interesting that preschool can help children learn how to read more quickly. I was a natural reader and linguist, but little brother had a really hard time, especially since he had a hearing problem we didn’t know about. In fact, the only way we figured out he was having hearing problems is the hearing test the elementary school required for preschool students, so I think that could be another potential benefit.
Never thought of that, Bethany!
Hi. I was a high school teacher for 12 years, worked in summer camps for 11 summers during high school, college and graduate school, and have a 15 month old daughter.
If I counted all the kids I worked with, taught, coached, tutored, cleaned up after, laughed with, made messes with, cried with, studied with and ran around with until I dropped, the number is over 5,000.
Point is, I know a smidge about this stuff….
Pre-school and day care are essentially identical.
The pre-school centers HATE that comment, but it’s a truth bomb. New parents are. with respect, the easiest group to market to using the good old fashioned “If you don’t buy what we are selling, your child will turn into a flying squirrel by age 7” routine.
Why flying squirrel? Because comedy. That’s why.
Anyways…actual, pedagogical, categorical LEARNING in the traditional academic sense that imparts knowledge requisite to take state exams and apply to college doesnt REALLY start until about 11 or 12 years old. No kidding. I swear on my retired hall pass.
Age 0-10 is mainly about social and emotional development as well as higher functioning language acquisition. So, emphasize reading, basic math, an eclectic smattering of world literature that is ACESSIBLE to kids. Yes, you will sound like a badass when you say “Hey, my kid is reading Candide by Voltaire at age 8”, but Little Johnny will have no idea what French satire actually is until he’s 23 in a masters program at Middlebury.
The thing I feel bad for new parents about is all the marketing that gets done to you. I am a retired teacher who owns a lucrative home business. I am not a shill for a company trying yo get you to believe in my bill of goods.
READ TO YOUR CHILDREN from age 0 to as long as they will tolerate it. Fill your home with books – even if you never read them yourself…. Your kids will appreciate the quest for knowledge and pushing him/herself to gobble up more and more cool tidbits of info until they reach middle school which is where anything close to mainly ACADEMIC instruction begins.
See, technically (and they hate it when you say this), but elementary schools are basically public day care services with an attempt at curriculum-based reading and basic math. The STATE says that’s what is needed. The boxes on forms get checked. Results vary because kids, teachers and parents vary in size, shape, and quality. Schools perform better or worse inconsistently because life isn’t one size fits all.
And that’s my point: as the parent of a 2 year old, you must trust yourself. YOU are your child’s first, best and most important teacher- far above both any private help or school you hire or public educator who your state provides you free of charge.
Bottom line is those companies that run the pre-school programs want your money. They want to have your kid splash around in non-toxic paint and call it art class. Math is counting blocks. Reading is a $6 from CVS.
Day care costs about the same and they can stay until 5 or 6pm where preschool pick up is 230 or earlier.
Americans have made each other paranoid about college admissions and all the competition surrounding it. Parents shove what disposable income they have in an ever-more expensive world into private SAT coaches, tutors, and even application editors for $16000! True!
DO NOT get obsessed and caught up in this garbage. I never did. Neither did my friends from back in the day who are now all late 30s early 40s. We all went to college or grad school, own homes, and have children. NONE of our parents bought the bill of goods of all this extra stuff.
Be smart with your money. Hold onto it. Save it. Invest it.
Read to your kid at home… at least 30 min per day. enjoy it. help them with new words. hell, learn some yourself. there are other adjectives out there besides amazing, awesome and cool. you’ll be the baddest dude at poetry slams and trivia nights.
Other than that, dont be a jerk in life and your kid will follow your good example.
The last 25 years of secondary education research in America has done all it can to dump ALL responsibility for outcomes in a child’s life on teachers. Sure, they count for a lot, but it’s YOU, the Mom and Dad, who matter most.
Plus, our education system has plummeted globally, so maybe dont listen to the idiots running the show.
Listen to yourselves, keep your money, read to your kids, teach them rules, structure and discipline at home. No cell phones at dinner. Yes, they’ll scream at you. Yes, you’re tired from work, Yes, the fight has to happen.
If you don’t argue with you kids and establish clear boundaries, if you act all hipster and above-it-all and say, while eating kale and avocado toast “Oh, we don’t say NO in our house”, you are setting up you, your child, all their teachers and everyone else for lots of headaches down the line.
Say YES to saying NO.
And don’t fall for paranoia-based marketing. If a college wants your son or daughter, they will admit him or her when the time is right. And, if your child goes into a trade, well a journeyman plumber in Boston makes $150/hour and makes his own schedule, so….
You and your family will be fine, despite all my lame jokes.
Good luck and dont take any wooden nickles.
Thank you, Nina, for this article. And thank you to the retired teacher for your perspective! Trying to decide about preschool and this was helpful.
I’m glad it helped, Laura!