Smart Ways to Cope When You Feel Tired All the Time

Do you feel tired all the time? Here are smart ways to cope with sleep deprivation and fatigue. A must-read for parents who feel exhausted!

Tired All the TimeIn the many years I’ve been a parent, I’ve had my fair share of tired days.

When you’re yawning your sleepiness away every minute, or feel that tingle in your eyes because they want to shut themselves. When your evening hours are spent cleaning and working after the kids are in bed. And of course, the sleep deprivation that comes with the newborn stage (and the newborn hours).

What can you do to stop feeling tired all the time and get the rest you need?

Take a look at these ideas. They remind us to pay attention when we feel tired and that we can do something to relieve it. So, when you’re feeling too tired to even feel tired, consider these remedies:

Newborn Stage

1. Don’t do anything

Sometimes, when we feel overwhelmed, our first instinct is to do, do, do. We feel like the more we can cross off our list, the quicker we can relax and feel accomplished.

Except you and I know that the list never ends—there’s always something else that could get done. When you feel exhausted, declare a mental health day and decide not to do anything. Instead of asking yourself what else you can do, ask yourself what you’ll choose not to do.

Maybe that’s having your spouse take the kids to a fun outing so you can have the house to yourself. Or you can leave the house and do something fun you’ve been wanting to do.

Cross off tasks that clutter your to-do list, whether you’ve done them or not. Find simpler ways to get chores done (or postpone them for a later time). Instead of adding more to your plate, prune whatever is already crowding it in the first place.

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Time Management Strategies for the Overwhelmed Mom

2. Reach out to a friend

Our health isn’t only about our bodies—our minds and hearts need to feel nourished as well. One of the best ways to do that is by staying connected to your social circles.

I don’t have a zillion friends, just a handful of them, and all scattered throughout the country. But I have amazing friendships with each one. So much so that I can pick up the phone and jabber away as if no time has passed since we last spoke.

Perhaps you’ll take a friend out to lunch on their birthday or get together for a play date. Make it a habit to connect with at least one friend a week, from college friends, coworkers, or family.

3. Sleep 30 minutes earlier

It’s funny how we’ll do anything and everything to make sure our kids are in bed on time, but we don’t hold ourselves to the same standards.

If you’re like me, you treasure those evening hours—they’re the few moments you have to yourself after the kids have gone to bed. You squeeze in as much as you can, from chores to television and even some work.

We get so engrossed in our activities that we neglect an important part of our nights: sleep! I’ve pushed bedtime as late as 11pm (yup that’s late for me) even when I knew I’d be miserable the next morning.

But I’ve found that our bodies can only take so much. After a while, the chronic lack of sleep catches up and affects how we feel the following morning. Waking up refreshed the next day is nearly impossible with little sleep.

But when I started to commit to an early bedtime at around 9pm, my whole mood changed. Mornings were much smoother, I didn’t forget so many things, and I was able to be a better parent to my kids.

If an early or reasonable bedtime seems impossible, start with 15 minutes at a time. Move that 11pm bedtime to 10:45pm until you adjust. Then move it some more until you reach the desired eight hours of sleep.

4. Take a day off of work

Those moments when you’re beyond exhausted and could sleep all day aren’t just hassles you need to get through. They’re your body’s signals that you need to rest! Sometimes we feel guilty or that we’re falling behind when we’re not productive.

One simple way to dedicate time to yourself is to take a day off of work. You may not be sick or going on vacation, but consider it a day off to tend to yourself and help you reset.

Keep the kids at school, daycare, or with the nanny and spend time in bed resting. Try not to use this time to tend to tasks unless they’re important. Allow yourself to rest exactly in those moments when you feel exhausted—that’s usually when you need it the most.

5. Divvy up duties

You’re likely tired from doing everything because you are doing everything. Don’t assume that all parenting duties fall on your shoulders.

Communicate with your partner so he can assume the duties around the household. If you cook dinner, have him wash dishes. He can drop the kids at school while you handle pick up. Alternate nights of waking up with the baby.

The more you can let go—including letting him do things his way—the less you’ll have on your plate.

And don’t be a gatekeeper. It’s okay if he doesn’t load the dishwasher the same way you do. At least it got done.

6. Change your standards

How was your home before you had kids? If you’re like me, it was pretty meticulous, complete with pristine carpets and weekly chore lists checked off dutifully.

These days, I’m happy if we put toys away at the end of the night. Having kids can mean letting go of your usual standards. Your sink might have more dishes in it than usual, and forget about laundry folded in a uniform way (it’s really okay to just stuff it in the drawer!).

7. Let go of the time-suckers

Do you find yourself consumed too much by one activity? Put a cap on activities that can suck you in. It’s so easy to lose a sense of time when you’re involved in something.

Maybe it’s watching television (“Let’s keep watching until the episode finishes”) or reading a book (“Just until the next section break”). Perhaps you lose yourself scrolling through social media.

Be aware of activities that consume a lot of your time, and ask yourself whether you can cap them to a certain time. That way, you don’t deny yourself the activity, but you’re balancing it with other parts of your life.

8. Reconsider your work schedule

Paid work—whether away from home or not—can affect how tired you feel. Maybe you work long hours away at an office, leaving you little time to be at home. Or you reserve the evenings—when you get uninterrupted time—to work from home.

In either case, you likely get work done to the detriment of your sleep. You might be so busy that bedtime isn’t until 1am. Considering that your kids wake up not too long after, no wonder you’re exhausted.

What can you change in your work life to ensure that you get the sleep you need? Perhaps you work a few days from home, eliminating the need to commute. You can work an earlier shift so you can leave later in the day. Changes can even be drastic like working part-time.

If you can’t reduce the hours or change your schedule, how can you make your home life easier?

Maybe that’s hiring help, from childcare during the day to a mother’s helper in the early evening. Cook in bulk once a month, reheating the meals every night. Get creative with your work schedule or different ways to get help at home.

How to Work from Home with a Baby

9. Get outside

At the office, I didn’t have much time to take extended breaks. I was already on a tight schedule as it is, and I had little time to fit exercise into my day.

So, I used a few minutes of my lunch to walk around the block. Whether to squeeze in a quick errand, walk with a coworker, or even to catch some fresh air, I used those few minutes to power walk.

I felt much better after I got back to my desk, and I even got the sunshine and fresh air I needed after being cooped up indoors all morning.

Now that I work from home, I have more flexibility but follow the same practice. I ride my bike with the kids to school, walk the dog at least once a day, and tend to our vegetable garden in the backyard. I’m not at the gym for two hours, but these simple activities have become a refreshing break to my day.

10. Get ready the night before

I’ve grown to enjoy mornings, and much more when I don’t feel rushed. The best way to start the day is to get everything ready the night before. You can:

  • Pack the kids’ lunch
  • Lay your clothes out
  • Bring out breakfast items

11. Follow the 5-second rule

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With all this talk about exercise and good health, it’s amazingly easy to talk yourself out of it. Who wants to wake up 30 minutes earlier just to pop in a workout video or go to sleep on time to get her full eight hours of sleep?

We do a lot of “talking ourselves out of it” when it comes to motivation.

The trick? Don’t give yourself that time to talk yourself out of it. I read The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins and learned the concept of counting down from five seconds and blasting yourself to do what you need to do.

For instance, you have fewer excuses to stay in bed longer when you force yourself to get out of bed in five seconds.

Conclusion

As parents, we expect to feel tired. It comes with the job, right? We have so many things to do with the limited time we have. It’s easy to sacrifice sleep to get things done or enjoy what few precious minutes we have to ourselves.

Still, chronic fatigue is serious. You never want to get to the point where you’re so sleep-deprived you can hardly function. Where you don’t enjoy the moments, but rather drag yourself until you can finally crash and sleep.

We’ve all had our fair share of tired days—now it’s time to get our fair share of restful days, too.

How to Get Things Done with a Baby

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4 Comments

  1. Christina says:

    I feel like the biggest struggle for me as a parent is that life is so busy and I feel like I’m too caught up with house work, cooking meals, work, etc. It makes me feel like I’m a bad mom because I’m not spending enough time with my 4 year old. I’m thankful I came across this blog after a stressful day. I will be putting your ideas into practice.

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      Hi Christina, thanks so much for your kind words! It’s definitely rough when you feel pulled in so many directions that we can’t spend time with our kids. Worse, we’re so frantic and stressed with all we have to do that we run out of patience with them. I’ve had to cut down and simplify so that it doesn’t just feel like I’m go, go, go all the time.

  2. I’m not in a good place right now and feel sad and angry with a lot of guilt. I have 3 beautiful girls I love and I’m grateful for. Ages 5, 3, and 9 months. I also work full time outside the house. I’m super exhausted from work, managing the home and making sure the kids have their needs met on my days off. I literally work from 6 till midnight most days and still my house is a mess. I don’t know how moms manage all this. When do they make meals or clean the house? I can barely do that plus watching the kids (mainly the baby who’s so unpredictable and won’t let me do things I plan). I feel like a complainer all the time, I’m tired and upset that I don’t have time for me. I know it’s a phase and will pass. I just wish I could find the words to make me reflect and stay positive. It doesn’t help that I don’t have any social connections either. I only have one acquaintance/friend that I text every now and then and my mom that does help when she can, but she’s older and can’t push too much. My husband does help a lot also and I’m grateful for that.

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      I hear you, mama. It can feel so exhausting not having a second to yourself, with a long list of things to do. One thing that really helps me when I feel this way is to start crossing things off that aren’t really important. It may SEEM important, but life goes on even if you don’t do it. I also try to cherish the moments I do have with my kids, so that it’s not always about discipline and thinking of the hassles, but truly enjoying them, even if it’s just minutes at a time, or a funny smile they made, or a hug before bedtime. Either way, know that you’re not alone 🙂