What to Do When Your 2 Year Old Fights Diaper Changes

Wondering what to do when your 2 year old fights diaper changes? Tantrums are common, especially at the toddler age. In this article, I’ll explain everything you need to know to stop your little one from throwing a fit during diaper changes, including how to prevent it from happening in the first place.

2 Year Old Fights Diaper Changes

The diaper change tantrum—for any parent who’s already had it with diaper changes, adding tantrums to the mix is often a challenge.

My son would cry, kick, hit, and do anything he could to get away from changing his diapers. He’d twist and turn, arching his back and resisting the whole time. And when you’re trying to change a poop diaper, that often means an instant mess on your hands (literally). 

I knew something had to change—and fast. By trying several tactics, I was able to turn these diaper changes back into the calm, everyday activity they once were. Because as we all know, tantrums and diaper changes aren’t exactly the best mix.

So, take a look at these suggestions below for a few tips to try when your 2 year old fights diaper changes:

Have everything ready to go

Trying to wrestle a toddler who squirms and screams while wiping poop is no easy task. Besides doing everything as quickly yet efficiently as possible, one tip is to have everything ready to go before you change diapers.

For instance, open the diaper flat, placing it below the dirty diaper so it’s ready to fasten once you’re done wiping. Grab several wipes out of the container so you don’t have to pull them out one at a time. Open the diaper cream tub and arrange his shirt and pants right side out for easy dressing.

Just as you would include diaper changes in a daily routine for your 2 year old, so too should that include getting everything ready beforehand. This can make the task of changing his diaper go as quickly as possible.

Make diaper changes fun

Changing diapers may not be your favorite activity, but what if you turn them into enjoyable experiences rather than power struggles? Take a look at these ideas to make them more fun:

  • 3-2-1 liftoff: Pretend your 2 year old is a rocket ready to blast off into space! Say, “Ready for lift off?”, hold him in your arms, and count down to lift off. As you do, zoom him up into the air and land him on the changing pad.
  • Peekaboo: Spend a few moments playing peekaboo, covering his face with a burp cloth and smiling as you unveil it.
  • Blow raspberries on his belly: He’ll love getting his tummy kissed after you’ve gotten him all cleaned and changed.
  • Sing songs: Sing specific songs for diaper changes or favorite ones he loves so he can enjoy the moment rather than fight it.
  • Tickle him gently: did you know that laughing and crying both release energy? Play with his feet and tickle him to get him to laugh so that laughter can replace his tantrums and meltdowns.
  • Do you hear…?: Want to grab his attention during diaper changes? Get real quiet and ask, “Do you hear…?” and fill in with something he might hear. Perhaps it’s the birds cawing outside, the lawnmower next door, or the song playing on the radio.

See diaper changes as something fun—rather than a hassle—and he’ll be more likely to want to do them again next time.

Pick a good time

Parenting is all about timing. Whenever possible, pick a good time to change your 2 year old’s diaper to avoid resistance.

For instance, avoid the times when she’s in the middle of an activity she loves or when she’s feeling grumpy or upset. Instead, wait until she’s about to transition to a new activity or focus on calming her down before bringing up the diaper change.

Then, give her a warning. If she is in the middle of an activity but you still need to change her diaper, let her know you’ll take a quick break in 10 minutes. Count down every so often (“Five more minutes before diaper time!”) so she isn’t caught by surprise.

Expert tip

Have several changing stations around the house using portable changing mats. That way, she doesn’t have to go far to have her diaper changed. You might say, “Before you start on that new activity, scoot on over here to get your diaper change real quickly.”

Have a consistent routine

Without a routine, you likely have to nag your 2 year old to get things done or remind him what to do next. But with a consistent routine, not only will he know what to expect, he’ll often do it automatically.

This is especially handy when he fights diaper changes. He’s less likely to resist them when they feel so automatic and ingrained in the day. Here are a few ways to include diaper changes into your routine:

  • Change diapers before or after the same activities every day. For instance, change his diaper first thing after waking up in the morning or from a nap.
  • Change diapers in the same place. A regular place to change diapers helps make the activity a normal part of the day.
  • Use the same words when signaling a diaper change. Saying specific words like, “It’s time to change your diaper” can trigger an automatic behavior.

Offer the right “distractions”

You may have tried to distract your 2 year old during diaper changes, from phones to special toys to household items, but perhaps these items didn’t last long or even worked at all.

Why? For one thing, he may not be interested in these items, or he initially was but now sees them as “old news.” Second, you may not be engaging with him, assuming that the item will hold his attention long enough.

But for distractions to work, they need to be items he genuinely likes combined with you giving him attention.

The best way to think about these items is to use them as conversation starters. Don’t simply hand him a toy and assume he’ll be thrilled. Instead, make eye contact and talk about the toy. Ask him how it works and use the opportunity to engage with him.

Expert tip

One trick to find the “right” item? Have him keep holding a toy he’s already playing with before the diaper change. If he’s playing with magnet tiles, allow him to hold a few in his hands while you transition him to the changing table.

Praise cooperation

Want to encourage your 2 year old’s positive behavior? Make sure to praise her for it. We tend to focus on correcting poor behavior that we forget or overlook the good choices they make.

Even if it seems like she always hates diaper changes, I guarantee there are a few times when she doesn’t. And when those moments happen, praise and thank her for a fantastic diaper change. Let her know how helpful she was, how quickly the change happened, and how much you appreciate her behavior.

Extend this praise to any time she cooperates, in however small of a way. Praise her for coming right away to the changing table or for grabbing a diaper. Thank her for lying down as you asked her to or for holding onto your distraction item.

The next time you change her diaper, you can start the conversation by reminding her how helpful and cooperative she is. So yes, correct poor behavior, but do your best to spot the good ones, too.

Consider early potty training

Do diaper change tantrums never seem to stop, no matter what you try? Maybe this is a sign to consider early potty training.

Maybe your 2 year old’s resistance to diaper changes means he’s ready to potty train. Even if you potty train gradually, introducing the potty now can be just what he needs to either cooperate with diaper changes or use the potty from time to time.

If he’s not ready to potty train, perhaps this is your cue to replace diapers with pull-ups, especially since they tend to be easier to change into and out of. Maybe he doesn’t like lying down to get his diaper changed and would be more willing to comply with pull-ups.

Whether pull-ups or potty training, a new change can intrigue him enough to stop fighting it. In other words, look at diaper change tantrums in a new light. Perhaps they’re exactly what you needed to realize that he’s outgrowing his current diapers.

Frequently asked questions

Why do kids fight diaper changes in the first place?

There are many reasons kids fight diaper changes. One might be timing. Your child may have just woken up prematurely from a nap and is generally cranky, or he was in the middle of playing and would rather not stop. He could also be more interested in other activities, especially physical ones, and doesn’t want to get tied down in one place.

Another could be a loss of control right when he’s trying to assert himself. Being told what to do doesn’t sit well with him and he’d rather do the opposite of everything you say. And maybe he has a diaper rash that makes it painful or uncomfortable to get wiped and changed.

The bottom line

Knowing what to do when your 2 year old fights diaper changes can test even the most patient parent. Rest assured, you’re not out of hope, especially if you’re open to change and willing to try different techniques.

Because no parent needs two of the most challenging experiences—diaper changes and tantrums—to happen at the same time.

Get more tips:

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4 Comments

  1. My little two year old girl throws food and twists and struggles during diaper changes.

    I’ve tried using her favorite stuffed animal to watch her get her diaper changes and eat her dinner well. The stuffed animal turns away from bad behavior, and leaves the room if it continues. He whispers his approval to me when she is doing well. Sometimes this works.

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      It’s definitely rough when kids fight diaper changes, especially now that they’re bigger and can really squirm out of your reach.

      I don’t know if you’d want the stuffed animal for misbehavior, in case she starts to feel judged or shamed for misbehaving. But what you can use him for is to keep her company while you change her diaper—something she gets to hold while you quickly change her.

  2. The main time I seem to lose my temper is when my 2-year-old refuses to be still while I change her pull-up. She is potty-training, but goes more with her grandma than with me. I work 40 hours a week and her dad or dad’s mom has her every other weekend. So I honestly don’t spend a lot of time with her. But I try telling her beforehand that we’re going to change if she won’t go to the potty for me. So it’s not like I just pick her up and go change her. I tell her, “Hey we’re gonna go change in a few minutes.” She usually says no, but she will walk back to my room where I change her on my bed. She still sleeps with me at night; this isn’t an issue for me. When she gets on the bed, she wants to stand up, roll around, do anything but actually get changed. And I lose my cool every time. I try for a few minutes to get her to be still. I ask, I coax, I command. And when that doesn’t work, I scream at her like an insane person. I’m so tired of her not listening and I’m so tired of my reaction. There’s got to be something better.

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      Diaper changes can definitely be a struggle and a point of contention. I think the constant defiance about this one task has led to you losing your cool and her resisting even more. It almost becomes a cycle, where it keeps feeding it more and more. I’d try a different approach where next time, you sort of shrug your shoulders and say, “Okay” and move on. Not in a “Let’s see how you like it” kind of way, but in a genuine, “Okay sure you don’t want to change your diaper right now” kind of way. See how she responds, and hopefully she’ll be less defiant the next time you bring it up (or who knows, she might even bring it up and want to change).