How to Establish a 2 Year Old Bedtime

Struggling with creating a 2 year old bedtime? Learn what time your child should sleep, schedules to try, and how to transition to bedtime.

2 Year Old BedtimeAs consistent as I had been with my son’s bedtime, I certainly ran into some troubles around the two-year mark.

He’d stay awake for an hour, getting out of bed to collect books and toys. Other times, he wouldn’t even go to bed, filling “bedtime” with temper tantrums and stall tactics. At this stage, new developmental milestones emerged, from separation anxiety to a fear of the dark.

I started creating a daily routine for a 2 year old as well as the amount of sleep he actually needed. And I found that certain habits helped steer him in the right direction once again. No more whining, excuses, or taking forever to fall asleep. We reclaimed our solid bedtime that was more predictable than ever.

Take a look at these best practices, and hopefully, you can create a bedtime for your 2 year old:

Daily Routine for a 2 Year Old

1. Have a bedtime 12 hours before wake-up time

Kids should get about 11-12 hours of sleep at night. If you need your 2 year old to be up by 7am, shoot for a 7pm bedtime. This way, she’s not overtired by the next morning.

How do you know if she needs 11 or 12 hours? She likely only needs 11 if she’s in bed at 7pm and up by 6am the next morning feeling well-rested.

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2. Bedtime shouldn’t be later than 8:30pm

Many parents put their kids to bed based on family circumstances. Maybe one parent gets home late from work and wants to play with the kids. Or another stays home and can sleep late at night (and wake up late the next morning).

We all have our reasons for putting our kids to bed at the time we currently do. Still, even if your 2 year old technically gets 12 hours of sleep at night, aim for a bedtime no later than 8:30pm.

Nighttime sleep from 8pm to 8am ties in with his circadian clock better than one from 11pm to 11am. Sleeping earlier rather than later can make his bedtime easier and more manageable.

Learn how to create a successful toddler sleep schedule.

Toddler Sleep Schedule

3. Wind down early in the evening

Does transitioning to bedtime feel like pulling teeth? Part of the problem could be the way your evenings feel leading up to it. If a tickle fest and an action-packed television show describe your typical evening, she may not be ready to snooze for the night yet.

Instead, dedicate the last 30 minutes before the bedtime routine to low-key activities. Instead of tablets and devices, give her a relaxing bath, read books, and talk about her day.

4. Schedule one midday nap

Some toddlers put up a fight come bedtime because they’re simply not sleepy enough, especially if they take a long or late nap. Waking up at 4pm from a nap might mean your 2 year old refuses to sleep until hours later.

On the flip side, an early or short nap could make her feel overtired and restless come bedtime. Despite needing sleep, the lack of a good nap might prevent her from falling asleep easily.

Instead, aim for one nap right in the middle of the day. Let’s say she takes a two-hour nap and is awake between 7am and 7pm. Schedule nap time from 12-2pm, giving her five hours in the morning and another five in the evening for being awake.

2 Year Old Refuses to Sleep

5. Set a timer during your bedtime routine

I set a timer for just about anything, from how long my kids can play before we read books to when it’s time to clean up for the day.

Timers make your schedule “neutral,” especially if your 2 year old feels like you decide everything about her day. She’s less likely to argue or whine when the timer says it’s time to take a bath—it’s simply a fact.

If she throws excuses about going to bed or drags the process longer than needed, use a timer. Maybe that’s setting 20 minutes of coloring and painting before it’s time to take a bath. Or she gets five minutes to tinker with her toys before it’s lights out.

6. Give your child choices about bedtime

Being told what to do 90% of the time can take a toll on even the most patient child. And considering how many directions kids are given around bedtime, it’s easy to see why many of them put up a fight or drag their feet.

One simple change you can make is to offer your child parent-approved choices about bedtime. For instance, I’ve asked my kids to choose the books we’ll read that night, or whether they’d like to leave their building block creations up or take them down.

By making a choice, your child can be more invested and follow through with the task. Picking out pajamas won’t be yet another power struggle when she gets to decide which set she’d like to wear. As I say in my book, Parenting with Purpose:

“When given a choice, kids own the task. Putting on a jacket won’t seem like Mom’s Terrible Idea I Must Rebel Against. Instead, your child gets to decide between a green or gray jacket. Giving choices reduces conflict. I’ve avoided many tantrums by drawing attention to the choices my kids can make, not the task they’re resisting.”

7. Give your child consequences

Your child’s behavior is often a habit, reinforced time and time again. If he has learned that calling out your name from bed means getting to sleep in yours, he’ll continue to do exactly that. The response to his behavior cements the choices he makes, leading to a cycle that won’t always break on its own.

Instead, hold him accountable for his choices by giving consequences that match the behavior.

Let’s say he keeps getting out of bed to collect his toys, despite you asking him to stay tucked in. The next evening, let him know that if he does that, you’ll remove the toys from the room. So, he can either stay in bed and keep the toys in the room, or choose to get out of bed but have the toys removed.

The more you hold your ground on the consequences of his actions, the more he can learn from them.

8. Stay consistent with your routine

A bedtime routine is as effective as it is consistent.

You see, daily tasks become automatic—so much so that you hardly even need to remind your child what part comes next. A consistent bedtime routine helps her build the habits you want her to continue while eliminating the ones you don’t.

She’s also comforted by the familiarity and repetition. Being able to predict—and seeing her predictions come true—feels reassuring.

And consistency sends the message that this is simply how it is. Walking her back to her room—instead of allowing her to sleep in yours—makes her less likely to get out of bed.

Conclusion

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Whether your child takes forever to fall asleep or fights it every night, creating a solid bedtime is absolutely possible.

Aim for 11-12 hours of sleep a night and stick to a bedtime no later than 8:30pm. Spend about 30 minutes before he falls asleep winding down with low-key activities.

Schedule nap time in the middle of the day so he’s awake long enough to feel sleepy but not too long that he’s overtired. If you struggle with bedtime transitions, use a timer to track the activities (instead of nagging him through each one).

Offer choices so he feels more invested in the decisions he makes. If he doesn’t, follow through with appropriate consequences and hold him accountable for his behavior. And finally, stay consistent with your routine to make it effective and familiar.

I’m happy to say that our evenings hum along quite smoothly in our house now—no more excuses, whining, or staying up for hours past bedtime.

p.s. Read I Love You to the Moon and Back by Amelia Hepworth with your toddler as part of your bedtime routine.

I Love You to the Moon and Back by Amelia Hepworth

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2 Comments

  1. Thanks for the very interesting article.

    If the kiddo wakes at 5:30am are we supposed to put him to bed at 5:30 pm? 😮

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      Hi Alixe! Not always—some kids need 10 or 11 hours, at which point they can go to bed at 6:30 or 7:30pm.