What to Do When Your 4 Month Old Baby Won't Nap

Struggling when your 4 month old baby won’t nap unless held? Learn how to get babies to sleep during the day for longer than 30 minutes!

“What is up with these 30-minute naps?” I vented to my husband. We’d gone past the newborn stage, hoping for longer naps now that our 4 month old baby was a little older. Except the opposite was happening: now he was hardly napping, and his fussiness wasn’t helping, either.

At first, I thought he was the type of baby who didn’t need as much sleep compared to other babies, except he’d be exhausted all day until the bedtime routine. He refused to nap each time, barely asleep for 30 minutes before waking up wide-eyed and alert.

Just when I thought the newborn stage was hard, hitting four months seemed to be even worse.

It’s true though, isn’t it? Maybe your 4 month old baby won’t nap longer than 30 minutes at a time but is cranky all day long. You rock him endlessly and place him in the crib asleep, only for him to wake up immediately. Never mind that he can easily sleep two hours if you hold him the entire time.

The result? Your sleep schedule is all off and you can’t get anything done, especially when he won’t nap unless he’s held.

While these sleep issues can pass, sometimes not doing anything reinforces these habits. That’s why your desire to take action is already a fantastic step in helping him get the sleep he needs instead of the tiredness you keep seeing.

Because there are things you can do to help him fall asleep, even if he refuses to nap right now. Take a look at what to do when your 4 month old baby won’t nap — and how to turn things around:

Table of Contents

1. Don’t go past two hours of wake-time

Babies don’t follow a schedule the way you and I do. You might diligently head to work at 8am every morning and have lunch by noon. But your baby is less likely to follow the clock as he is to go with a “flow,” or rhythm. If you’ve ever been frustrated for missing sleep cues, you’re not alone.

So, instead of putting him down by the clock, start the nap routine after he’s been awake no longer than two hours.

So, if he woke up for the day at 6am, his first morning nap should be no later than 8am. Let’s say he only took a 30-minute nap and woke up at 8:30am. His next nap should then be no later than 10:30am.

Now, what do you do if he completely skipped his 8am nap? Maybe you’d wanted him to nap from 8am-9am, but he was awake the whole time. In that case, put him down one hour after he was supposed to have woken up—in this case, 10am.

Your daytime sleep schedule can then be based not on a particular time of the day, but on when he wakes up and how long he stays awake.

2. Put your baby down earlier than you think

You might be wondering, What if two hours is still too long to be awake?

Two hours is a general rule of thumb, certainly not a hard and fast rule. I suggest not waiting until your baby looks exhausted before putting him down for a nap. Inconsolable crying and fighting sleep are a clear signal that he’d already been overtired all this time.

Instead, start the nap transition earlier than you usually do. If you tend to keep him awake for two hours, try putting him down in an hour and a half. That way, you avoid the chances of him being overtired come nap time.

3. Wear your baby in a wrap

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Part of the problem with too short naps is that we can’t get anything done. Half an hour of sleep-time barely affords you any time to get things done. Whatever time you do have to yourself means you’re walking on eggshells so you don’t wake your baby up.

One quick solution is to wear him in a wrap while you get things done around the house. You can do plenty of things knowing he’s still asleep near you. And because he’s cuddled close, he’ll likely sleep for a long stretch. Another option is to put him in a swing, since the motion can lull him to keep sleeping longer.

A wrap or swing aren’t long-term solutions, but they can be fantastic ways to catch up on lost sleep or ensure that he gets a good nap after he misses one.

4. Encourage self-soothing

At some point, your baby’s sleep can improve when he learns how to fall asleep on his own. Right now, he likely doesn’t nap because he’s grown used to other ways to fall asleep. Maybe that’s being held in your arms or rocked until he’s conked out.

With a sleep training method, you can put him down awake, knowing he can fall and stay asleep for long stretches. But he can only do this if he’s given the chance to try. You can allow him the opportunity to learn this healthy sleep habits so that he won’t always have to rely on you.

A few tips to help with self-soothing:

Put him down in the same place each time, preferably in his crib.
Keep his room dark and filled with white noise to block out sounds and light that could startle him awake.
Determine a set amount of time for him to nap (for instance, one hour), checking in every few minutes throughout that window.
Stay consistent not only with your baby’s sleep schedule but in the rest of your daily routine as well.

Free resource: Interested in learning more about helping your baby nap on his own? Join my newsletter and get a preview of How to Teach Your Baby to Self Soothe. This chapter is all about the mindset needed for successful self-soothing and helping him put himself to sleep. As one parent said:

“After months of trying to sleep train, we purchased your book and followed the guidelines. It worked so well for us. I still can’t believe that I can put my little one down for the night wide awake and he falls asleep! Thank you for that.” -Chiedza Kwete

5. Address digestion issues

For some babies, lying down flat in a crib is even more challenging because of reflux and digestion issues. Acids could be forcing recently-consumed milk back up his throat, making him cry.

One option is to hold him vertically a little longer after feedings, using the time to cuddle and burp him. This also ensures that he doesn’t go straight to his back, where digestion becomes harder to do.

And finally, feed him after he wakes up, not before. That way, he has plenty of time to digest his food while he’s awake instead of lying flat on his back right away. The only exceptions are bedtime and middle-of-the-night feedings, where you do want him to keep sleeping after feeding.

Is your 4 month old waking every 3 hours to feed? Here’s what to do.

Conclusion

Short—or no—naps are enough to test the patience of every parent. You feel stuck bouncing or rocking your baby to sleep, only to get a measly 20-30 minutes out of it. Thankfully, you can do a few things to help him sleep in longer stretches and encourage good sleeping habits.

The first is to avoid over-extending his time awake, making sure he’s asleep within two hours at the most. That also means putting him down earlier than you think because he might already be yawning and overtired by the time you usually do.

Wearing him in a wrap allows you to get things done around the house. That said, think about the long-term benefits of teaching him to self soothe. He can put himself to sleep, including between sleep cycles. And finally, feed him after he wakes up, not before.

You’re now past the newborn stage, friend—no more 30-minute daytime naps for you and your baby!

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6 Comments

Yasmin says:

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Hi there, we have been sleep training our 4months old baby to sleep self soothing. It’s been 4 days now. We feel like nights are getting better when he wakes but he still wakes up in the same times. Is this normal?
Also, napping has been horrible. I have a set schedule for him and I do all you mentioned as far as dark room and white noise but he would scream nonstop not wanting to nap. If I set a window of 1 hour nap for example and I let him cry it out. Should I pick him up after the hour has passed and totally skip this nap or try again? And what if trying again in an hour for example interferes with his eating schedule. Do I feed him while he’s asleep?
I would appreciate all the help. Sleep training has been the hardest things we had to do but we are trying to go strong.

1. Nina Garcia says:
  
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  Hi Yasmin! It’s pretty common for them to still wake up. The range is wide as far as when they’re sleep trained, with some sleeping through the night after just one night, and others taking 5 weeks. I think the fact that you’re seeing progress is a good sign. If you’re consistent with your response, I think it’ll make sleep training more effective, too.
  
  As far as naps, I would make sure that you’re checking in on him during that one hour, and not just leaving him alone. He needs to know that you’re still there. If he skipped the nap entirely, I would get him up, engage and play with him for an hour, then put him down for a nap, even if it’s sooner than what you normally would. If that earlier nap interferes with his feeding schedule, I would feed him during that awake time, perhaps after you get him up. I hope that helps!
  
Reagan says:

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My daughter is 4 months now and I can’t get her to sleep without being nursed, I can’t get her to sleep in her crib. Even if she falls asleep next to me ,she wakes up the second I put her in the crib. And she isn’t sleeping through the night. It’s starting to cause major stress and irritation towards her and I hate that. I shouldn’t be irritated at my child.

1. Nina Garcia says:
  
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  It’s definitely rough when our babies won’t sleep on their own. We have to either nurse or rock them to sleep, and moving them to their crib just wakes them up and we have to start all over again. You’re definitely not alone in starting to resent putting your baby to sleep.
  
  It’s likely that she has relied on the habit of being put to sleep, whether nursing or sleeping next to you, that when you introduce a new way of sleeping, she has a hard time. It’s like any other habit—we can’t fault them for falling asleep if this is the only way they’ve ever known how.
  
  If you and your pediatrician think she’s old enough to sleep through the night, you might want to consider sleep training her so that she is given the chance to fall asleep on her own, instead of relying on you to put her to sleep each time. It’s a game-changer to be able to put her down awake, knowing she’ll sleep on her own, and stay asleep for 11-12 hours straight without waking up once. That’s when I felt like life was normal again. And especially if what you’ve been doing hasn’t been working, it might be worth thinking about doing something different.
  
Jenny says:

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I can’t get my baby to nap. Even if we rock her, sometimes for an hour, she wakes up in 30 minutes or less. So there are days she only naps 30 min combined all day. She is 4 months old. I feel like this isn’t normal. Also she nurses to fall asleep at night and sometimes a little rocking but then she either sleeps through the night or wakes up once at 5 am so she is doing pretty good sleeping all night. Just that we have to help put her to sleep.

1. Nina Garcia says:
  
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  It’s definitely rough when they sleep for such a short time. And yes, I agree that 30 minutes of total sleep for the entire day does seem rather not enough. It seems like she isn’t able to put herself back to sleep when she wakes up after a sleep cycle.
  
  Have you tried giving her a chance to fall asleep on her own? Check with your pediatrician, but she might be able to put herself to sleep, at least at night. Then, she can transfer for those skills for during the day. Definitely check out the preview chapter, as it can explain more about the self soothing practices I lay out in my book.
  
  If she’s not ready, I’d try other baby gear to help her fall asleep without needing your arms. Stuff like swings, infant cushions, baby wraps, etc., just to add up those hours of sleep during the day.
  
  But as far as a sustainable way moving forward, I’d see if you can sleep train her at night and for naps so that she can put herself back to sleep when she wakes.
  
  Either way, rest assured you’re not alone, mama! And that it doesn’t always have to be this way forever 🙂