4 Year Old Poops in Pants (And Doesn't Care)

Has your potty trained child started to have poop accidents again? Learn what to do when your 4 year old poops in his pants and doesn’t care.

I didn’t get it. My son had been potty trained for two years, but out of the blue, started pooping in his pants. He simply refused to try to poop in the toilet, and instead would hold it in until it practically seeped out. I was beyond tired of washing dirty undies, ready to lose my mind with yet another accident.

Maybe your child has also been potty trained for a while, but for the last several days, has been having poop accidents. Perhaps he’s potty training right now but can’t seem poop in the toilet. He’ll blatantly wait until bedtime—when he wears pull ups—to finally poop. Or he’s even pooping in his pants for attention, provoked by your reaction.

Regardless of the reason, no amount of admonishment or explanation can convince him to use the toilet to poop. Nope—every day, yet another pair of undies is soiled or streaked once again.

When your 4 year old poops in his pants and doesn’t care

I can certainly relate, mama. There’s nothing like cleaning up poop to make you lose your patience. It doesn’t help when your child doesn’t seem to care one bit that he’s dirtied his undies or that he should be a “big kid” by now.

What we have to remember though is that kids don’t do this intentionally, as hard as that may be to believe. I promise, this isn’t a “control” thing that he has purposefully planned against you. He might feel confused, or doesn’t want to stop what he’s doing to sit on the toilet.

It’s important not to get angry, but to work together to fix the issue. The more you can get on the same side as him, the more willingly he’ll comply.

Take a look at these solutions to try when your 4 year old poops in his pants and doesn’t care one bit:

1. Ease your child’s constipation

A common culprit for pooping in undies is constipation. He might’ve had a difficult time pushing poop, which then scared him the next time he had to poop. Of course, this only contributes to even more constipation and pain, adding to the cycle even more.

He’s so stressed out that it’s no wonder he can’t relax enough to poop.

One fix is to increase his fiber intake, from eating more fruits and vegetables to taking fiber gummies. Another is to make sure he drinks plenty of water—aim for however many cups of water as his age at minimum. Consider reducing dairy to help him poop with ease.

And of course, you can always ask his pediatrician about giving a suppository. If you go this route, you can then time the medicine with sitting him on the potty to help him release his bowels.

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2. Give your child cleanup responsibility

Your child might not care about pooping in her undies because she hardly has to deal with its consequences. Meanwhile, you’re dealing with cleaning up the mess every day.

To help her see what happens when she doesn’t poop in the toilet, have her help you cleanup his mess. For instance, she can watch you dump the poop in the toilet and wash the undies. She might grab new clean clothes and load a new batch of laundry.

Yes, you’ll have to guide her through the cleanup process, so it’s not like you’re clear to hand the entire task to her. But she does see what happens when she has an accident. More importantly, she’ll feel compelled to poop in the toilet if she knows she has to cleanup otherwise.

Check out how to give consequences for kids that actually work.

3. Sit your child on the toilet regularly

To make pooping in the toilet feel more regular, have your child sit on it at predictable times and for a set length.

For instance, have him sit on the potty for 20 minutes after each meal, or whenever he tends to poop in his undies. You can also set a timer so he knows that there’s a set time to go through (and not based on when you say so).

Make this a regular part of your day, just as he brushes his teeth after meals and changes into pajamas at night. That way, he develops a new habit that feels automatic.

4. Offer positive reinforcement

No one likes being scolded or told what to do day in and day out. Encourage your child to poop in the toilet by praising any bit of progress you see. The more supported he feels, the more inclined he’ll be to continue that behavior.

Keep in mind to praise progress, and not only what you define as “success.” Don’t just praise him for the times he poops in the toilet instead of his undies (because, at this point, those times might be few and far between).

Instead, praise him for being willing to sit on the toilet, or for telling you he had poop (yup, even in his undies). Thank him for helping you clean his soiled undies, or for eating healthy fruits and vegetables. The more you praise him for these steps, the more encouraged he’ll be to keep going.

Conclusion

Learning how to stop your child from pooping in his pants, especially when he’d been potty trained for a while, can be a challenge. Thankfully, you can try a few tricks to convince him to poop in the toilet instead.

Address issues with constipation, from offering more fiber and water to being supportive about his fears of pushing. Give him the responsibility of helping you clean his accidents so he’s not “off the hook.”

Sit him on the toilet at predictable times of the day, and for a regular length of time. And finally, offer positive reinforcement every step of the way—he’s more likely to change through praise than punishment.

No matter how long or short he’s been potty trained, now you know what to do when your 4 year old poops in his pants and doesn’t care one bit. No more streaked or soiled undies, friend—just regular, mess-free toilet use instead.

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Free email course: Want to potty train without the power struggles? Join my FREE 5-day email mini course, Peaceful Potty Training! No more putting unrealistic deadlines on your child or using rewards that eventually fizzle. Join the mini-course now and potty train without frustrating power struggles:

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