Frustrated when you baby won’t nap, especially when you’ve tried everything? You CAN keep your cool, especially with these tips.
Five hours—going on six.
That’s how long my baby was awake from having skipped a nap. He was rubbing his eyes, yawning and crying, especially when I so much as stepped a foot away. In truth, he wasn’t that fun to be around.
But despite my attempts to put him down for another nap, he refused. Nothing seemed to work—he wouldn’t nap at all.
Meanwhile, there was so much to do around the house. I needed a break—even a measly ten minutes would’ve been awesome.
So I felt my frustration flaring, my patience waning, and I just about had it. I love my baby, but, let’s be honest… I was getting mad with this no-napping business.
The first time I ever yelled at him was when he was a mere eight weeks old and wouldn’t nap. I was rocking him to sleep, but each time I placed him in the crib, he’d open his eyes and cry.
It’s one of the toughest memories I have, one where I’m not proud of losing my temper.
How to stay calm when your baby won’t nap
It’s tough when we’re in the trenches. We’re sleep-deprived, the house is a mess and our lives are so different from the days before the baby. No wonder it’s hard to stay calm when they don’t nap.
But I learned little things to bring order and peace—and maybe even that nap—back into my days. We’re not immune to getting angry, but we can do things differently so we respond with calm and patience.
How can you keep yourself calm and your temper in control when your baby won’t nap?
1. Take a five-minute break
We can get caught up trying so hard to get that nap that doing so consumes us. So, stop. Put your baby down in the crib and catch a break.
Just a few minutes of removing yourself from the stress can make a huge difference. Because nothing, especially a good nap, ever happens when you feel wound up and frustrated. He won’t exactly want to nap when you’re heaving sighs and getting upset.
Instead, do something that makes you happy, however briefly. Yup, focus on yourself to turn the situation around. You might find that a few minutes is all you need to reset with the right frame of mind. You can:
- Take several deep breaths.
- Log onto baby support groups and vent.
- Watch a funny video online and laugh it off.
- Eat a snack.
- Do something you needed to do around the house.
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2. Sing nursery songs
Sometimes when we’re so frustrated, we simply need something else to focus on other than the fact that baby still isn’t taking a nap.
Enter nursery songs.
Singing these songs to your baby not only helps him fall asleep, but reminds you to calm down and focus on nurturing your little one.
Repetitive songs work well and are easy to sing over and over again. You can push your mind away from the frustration and detach from that anger flaring up.
Some repetitive songs include:
- The Wheels on the Bus
- Old McDonald
- The Farmer in the Dell
If these songs are too upbeat, try slower lullabies that you know well. The idea is to sing songs that are easy to think of. You just might lull him to sleep and keep your cool as well.
Here are a few favorite lullabies:
- Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star
- Hush Little Baby
- Brahm’s Lullaby
- Rock-a-Bye Baby
3. Leave the house
It’s hard to see this in the moment, but your baby picks up your energy. He won’t feel compelled to take a nap when he sees your eyebrows furrowed and hears your angry voice.
He has already been up all these hours—you might as well get something out of it. Take him on a stroll around the neighborhood or to the nearby park. Drive to the mall and get yourself a cup of coffee or a bowl of ice cream.
Breaking away from your “plan” to get him to nap can be hard. After all, you have a routine and would rather see this through and keep trying than to “fail” and call it a day.
But sometimes a change of scenery is all you need. Build a “last resort plan” of leaving the house when he won’t nap. You both get a break from the frustration that has been building up, and he just might nap during that stroll or car ride.
4. Keep company
You know how you’re at your worst when you’re alone with your newborn? If you feel like you’ve been struggling when your baby won’t nap, ask friends or family to visit. You’re less likely to get frustrated if your sister is in the same room.
And more importantly, friends and family can help. They can take over nap time duties or clean the house so you’re not burdened with those tasks.
The early stages are especially crucial because he has erratic sleep patterns and needs to nap frequently (does it seem like they nap seven times a day sometimes?).
5. Keep trying new ways to get your baby to nap
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Tell me if this sound familiar:
You’ve been rocking your baby for what seems like over an hour now but he still won’t sleep. You’re frustrated and ask him, “Why won’t you just sleep?!”
But if you step back, that’s a whole hour you devoted to doing the same thing over and over with no success.
Instead, print out a list of ideas to try when he won’t nap and tape it to several walls around your home. My list included techniques like:
It’s so easy to forget other ways to get the baby to nap, especially when you’re so focused on one technique. Having a printed sheet taped to the wall reminds you to try something different.
At least you won’t feel like you’re going crazy doing the same thing over and over. Plus you won’t have to think too hard for new ideas to try when they’re all listed in front of you.
Have a contingency plan, too. Try putting him to nap one way, and give yourself 20 minutes to do so. If he still won’t nap, try a different way.
With a time limit, you’re less likely to drag out an unsuccessful nap attempt. You’ll also feel more accomplished for checking off a list of techniques you’ve tried and moving on to new methods.
Your baby is going to be all right. Yes, he skipped a nap and will likely be cranky, and you didn’t get the break you hoped for. But this moment will pass, like every parenting challenge does.
Stay calm by taking a five-minute break to cool your temper. Sing nursery songs to lull him to sleep and keep you in a positive mood. Change your environment and get out of the house, or invite friends and family for company (and much-needed help).
And cycle through different techniques to get him to nap, if only to not go crazy doing the same one over and over.
Sometimes we treat skipped naps like the biggest upset of the day. In hindsight, he just skipped nap—it’ll be okay. He’ll catch his sleep at some other point in the day.
Be kind to yourself and don’t take skipped naps personally. You’re a good mom. You didn’t “fail” because he didn’t nap, and your day doesn’t have to be negative from this point forward. You’ll decompress later. You’ll catch your much-needed rest and move on from this moment.
Because really, it isn’t so bad. It’s just a nap, after all—yes, even if he’s been awake for five hours going on six.
Get more tips:
- Baby Not Napping? Here’s What to Do
- How to Get Your Baby to Nap Longer
- 9 Children’s Books about Bedtime
- What to Do When Your Baby Wakes Up Crying from Naps
- What You Need to Do when Your Child Won’t Nap
Don’t forget: Join my newsletter and discover the 5 mistakes that are keeping your baby from self-soothing! Whether you’ve tried to teach your baby to self soothe in the past or are just now considering it, take a look at the 5 key mistakes to avoid. Download your PDF below: