Frustrated when your overtired baby won’t nap, especially when you’ve tried everything? You CAN keep your cool, especially with these tips.
Five hours—going on six.
That’s how long my baby was awake from having skipped a nap. He was rubbing his eyes, yawning and crying, especially when I so much as stepped a foot away. In truth, he wasn’t that fun to be around.
But despite his sleep cues and my attempts to put him down for a second nap, he refused. Nothing seemed to work—he wouldn’t nap at all.
Meanwhile, there was so much to do around the house. I needed a break—even a measly ten minutes would’ve been awesome.
I felt my frustration flaring, my patience waning, and I just about had it. I love my baby, but, let’s be honest… I was getting mad with this no-napping business.
The first time I ever yelled at him was when he was a mere eight weeks old and wouldn’t nap. I was rocking him to sleep, but each time I placed him in the crib, he’d open his eyes and cry.
It’s one of the toughest memories I have, one where I’m not proud of losing my temper.
How to stay calm when your baby won’t nap
It’s tough when we’re in the trenches. We’re sleep-deprived, the house is a mess, and our lives are so different from the days before having kids. No wonder it’s hard to stay calm when they don’t nap.
But I learned little things to bring order and peace—and even a good nap transition—back into my days. We’re not immune to getting angry, but we can do things differently so we respond with calm and patience. Hopefully you’ll find inspiration in the tips below, as these parents have:
“Thank you, I really needed to read this.” -Kristen
“After days of feeling like I’m failing over getting baby the rest she needs I read this article. I’m crying right now (thanks, lack of sleep) but I feel so much better knowing it’s not just me going through it. Thanks!” -Kitty
So, how can you keep yourself calm and your temper in control when your baby won’t nap and fusses, despite your consistency and sleep schedule?
1. Take a five-minute break
We can get caught up trying so hard to get naptime going that doing so consumes us. So, stop. Put your baby down in the crib and catch a break.
Just a few minutes of removing yourself from the stress can make a huge difference. Because nothing, especially a good nap, ever happens when you feel wound up and frustrated. He won’t exactly want to nap when you’re heaving sighs and getting upset.
Instead, do something that makes you happy, however briefly. Focus on yourself to turn the situation around, even if these are small distractions. You might find that a few minutes is all you need to reset with the right frame of mind. You can:
- Take several deep breaths.
- Log onto baby support groups and vent.
- Watch a funny video online and laugh it off.
- Eat a snack.
- Do something you needed to do around the house.
Free resource: Do you wish he could learn to self soothe and learn good sleeping habits? Join my newsletter and discover the 5 mistakes that keep infants from self-soothing! Whether you’ve tried sleep training in the past or are just now considering it, take a look at the 5 key mistakes to avoid:
2. Sing nursery songs
Sometimes when we’re so frustrated, we simply need something else to focus on other than the fact that baby still isn’t taking a nap.
Enter nursery songs.
Singing these songs to your baby not only creates a soothing sleep environment, but reminds you to calm down and focus on nurturing your little one. Repetitive songs work well and are easy to sing over and over again. You can push your mind away from the frustration and detach from that anger flaring up.
Some repetitive songs include:
- The Wheels on the Bus
- Old McDonald
- B-I-N-G-O
- The Farmer in the Dell
If these songs are too upbeat, try slower lullabies that you know well. The idea is to sing songs that are easy to think of. You just might lull her to sleep and keep your cool as well.
Here are a few favorite lullabies:
- Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star
- Hush Little Baby
- Brahm’s Lullaby
- Rock-a-Bye Baby
3. Leave the house
It’s hard to see this in the moment, but your baby picks up your energy. He won’t feel compelled to take a nap when he sees your eyebrows furrowed and hears your angry voice.
He has already been up all this time—you might as well get something out of it. Put him in the stroller and walk around the neighborhood or to the nearby park. Strap him in the car seat and get yourself a cup of coffee or a bowl of ice cream.
Breaking away from your “plan” to get him to nap can be hard. After all, you have a nap routine and would rather see this through and keep trying than to “fail” and call it a day.
But sometimes a change of scenery is all you need. Build a “last resort plan” of leaving the house when he won’t nap. You both get a break from the frustration that has been building up, and he just might nap during that stroll or car ride.
Learn what to do when your 4 month old baby won’t nap.
4. Keep company
You know how you’re at your worst when you’re alone with your baby? If you feel like you’ve been struggling when your baby won’t nap, ask friends or family to visit. You’re less likely to get frustrated if your sister or mom is in the same room.
And more importantly, friends and family can help. They can handle the afternoon nap or or help with the bedtime routine so you’re not burdened with those tasks alone.
Discover the #1 reason your baby will not sleep — even after all this time.
5. Keep trying new ways to get your baby to nap
Disclosure: This article contains affiliate links, which means I will earn a commission—at no extra cost to you—if you make a purchase.
Tell me if this sound familiar: You’ve been rocking your baby for what seems like over an hour now but he still won’t sleep. You’re frustrated and ask him, “Why won’t you just sleep?!”
But if you step back, that’s a whole hour you devoted to doing the same thing over and over with no success.
Instead, print out a list of ideas to try when he won’t nap and tape it to several walls around your home. My list included techniques like:
- Swaddle
- Baby wrap
- Use a pacifier
- Give gas drops or gripe water
- Use a white noise machine
- Draw the blinds to keep the room dark
- Put down on a thick blanket on the floor
- Swing
- Bassinet
It’s so easy to forget other ways to get the baby to nap, especially when you’re so focused on one technique. Having a printed sheet taped to the wall reminds you to try something different.
At least you won’t feel like you’re going crazy doing the same thing over and over. Plus, you won’t have to think too hard for new ideas to try when they’re all listed in front of you.
Have a contingency plan, too. Try putting him to nap one way, and give yourself 20 minutes to do so. If he still won’t nap, try a different way.
With a time limit, you’re less likely to drag out an unsuccessful nap time attempt. You’ll also feel more accomplished for checking off a list of techniques you’ve tried and moving on to new methods and sleep associations.
Learn what to do when your 6 month old baby won’t sleep unless held.
Conclusion
Despite these sleep regressions, your baby is going to be all right. Yes, he skipped that first nap and will likely be cranky after, and you didn’t get the break you hoped for. But this moment will pass—like every parenting challenge does—and you can try again at a different time.
Stay calm by taking a five-minute break to cool your temper. Sing nursery songs to lull him to sleep and keep you in a positive mood. Change your environment and get out of the house, or invite friends and family for company (and much-needed help).
And cycle through different techniques to get him to nap, if only to not go crazy doing the same one over and over.
Sometimes we treat skipped daytime naps and sleep problems like the biggest upset of the day. But in hindsight, he’ll catch his sleep at some other point in the day.
Be kind to yourself and don’t take skipped naps personally. You’re a good mom. You didn’t “fail” because he didn’t nap, and the rest of your daytime sleep doesn’t have to be negative from this point forward. You’ll decompress later and catch your much-needed rest and move on from this moment.
Because really, it isn’t so bad. It’s just a nap, after all—yes, even if he’s been awake for five hours going on six.
Get more tips:
- How to Get Your Baby to Nap Longer
- 9 Children’s Books about Bedtime
- How to Stop Your Baby Fighting Sleep
- What to Do When Your Baby Wakes Up Crying from Naps
- What You Need to Do when Your Child Won’t Nap
Don’t forget: Join my newsletter and discover the 5 mistakes that are keeping your baby from self-soothing below:
I am having in such a hard time with my second baby when she refuses to nap. She’s 4 weeks old and has generally been a pretty good sleeper and napper. Last weekend she went on strike from 6:30pm to 1am and then again from 7:20am until 2pm. We sort of got things going again only to have another set back night last night. My 27 month old son is at the ‘NO!’ stage and is throwing HUGE fits when it’s nap or bedtime (which is a major indicator of his need for sleep). I am home on my own 6 days a week and am at my wit’s end trying to find any sort of peace and quiet to settle myself (let alone babies). I have also yelled at both my babies while so young… It seems only to let the steam out and then I feel bad after. It obviously makes the situation worse but I sometimes feel like a kettle with no spout or lid… All that pressure building and no escape. Eventually the kettle will explode.
Yup, I know exactly how you feel, Sandra. In fact I would also compare myself to a tea kettle ready to explode :/ It’s definitely hard, and I think taking a step back and recognizing that in the bigger picture, it’s not worth yelling over. That is what has calmed me down, that this is normal, that it’s not the end of the world. Sometimes we get so caught up in all these naps either “working” or not, that when they skip them, it’s so tempting to take it out on them. Hang in there, mama. You’re definitely not alone!
I been trying to train my 5 month old to nap by himself. It has worked maybe like once or twice. He also only naps for 30 minutes. I’m so frustrated right now :,(. Even though it’s just a nap, I’ve read that is not good for his brain development. I work from home and having a crying baby all day is exhausting. It affects not only him but my work as well. Please someone advise what to do. Any advise will be taken….
Hi Cindy! I totally know what you mean about trying to work from home and deal with a fussy baby at the same time. It’s not easy, that’s for sure. And yes, babies need good quality sleep, including naps. Even short stints in the car or stroller aren’t as effective as the deep sleep they can get from naps at home.
Now that your baby is likely out of the newborn stage, perhaps you can ask your pediatrician if she thinks he’s ready to sleep train. At this point, it’s likely habit that prevents him from learning to fall asleep on his own, and for long stretches. He may have grown used to needing you to fall asleep. Take a look at a guide I wrote, and you can even download a free chapter to see if it’s right for you: https://sleepingshouldbeeasy.com/self-soothe/
Thank you, I really needed to read this. I’m finding it so hard lately to get my 5mo son to sleep and stay asleep after putting him down. It’s infuriating. I guess you don’t always realise how easy it is to fall into what’s expected in parenting these days. Time to take a breather and do it whatever way works for us… And hopefully, he won’t be in these habits for the next 12 months or more
I’m so glad the article came in handy, Kristen! It can definitely be rough when babies don’t sleep, especially after spending so much time putting them down. Have you checked out my self soothing guide? Getting my babies to put themselves to sleep—and stay asleep—was a huge turning point for me. Take a look and see if it resonates with you, that way you don’t have to keep doing this months down the line 🙂
After days of feeling like I’m failing over getting baby the rest she needs I read this article. I’m crying right now (thanks, lack of sleep) but I feel so much better knowing it’s not just me going through it. Thanks!
I can totally relate to feeling like I’ve failed, all because of crazy naps. You’re definitely not alone, Kitty! I’m glad you feel better too 🙂