The best way for kids to obey isn't by telling them "no" all the time, but to say "yes." Here's how to get kids to obey using the power of positive parenting. Our toddler is fascinated with tea, which my husband and I drink on a near-daily basis. He loves to peer into our cups to compare the ones with milk and the ones drank dark. And of course what kid can resist the swirl of steam rising from the cup? But... as I'm sure to no one's surprise, tea happens to be hot. Not exactly easy when a curious, rambunctious toddler is so eager to look. At one point, he grabbed onto my husband's … [Read more...]
Why You Need to Respond when Adults Tease Your Child
Do adults tease your child, even with good intention? Learn why you need to respond to others' teasing and how to do so firmly yet tactfully. You're at a family party, and grandpa teases your child and pretends to take away his toy. He means well, as most adults do when they try to make kids laugh, but now the teasing has grown out of hand and your toddler is getting upset. On one hand, you don't want to be that parent everyone has to be careful about with what they say to her kids. So you laugh it off, while still dropping enough hints that it's time to stop the teasing. But you … [Read more...]
How Sharing Funny Stories about Kids Can Be Hurtful
We've all shared our kids' funny quirks. But sometimes we can unintentionally hurt them. Here's why laughing at kids can be hurtful. A few weeks ago, I told my family a cute and funny story about my toddler—and ended up feeling terrible. With my toddler out of earshot, I shared how he said "puddle"—but in a Filipino accent. He was so cute and so funny... except he wasn't making a joke. And he probably wouldn't appreciate it if my family brought it up to him. After realizing my mistake, I followed with, "Oh, but don't mention it to him. I don't want him to get embarrassed or think I'm … [Read more...]
“Respect the No”: 3 Reasons to Listen When Your Child Says No
Tired of when your child says no all the time? Before you ignore your children's no's, consider these three reasons to listen—and respect— them when your child says no. It seems we tell our kids "no" all the time, from discipline to wanting new toys. But we forget the other side—when our kids say "no." Think about all the times your child says no. Maybe it's when another child demanded to play with the toy train in his hand. Or when an adult tickled him to tears and exhaustion despite saying no several times. Or if they're like my twins, maybe he's frustrated because you keep asking if … [Read more...]
Why You Shouldn’t Dismiss Your Child’s Emotions
How often do we reassure our kids by saying "It's okay"? We try to make them feel better, but don't dismiss children's emotions — here's why. "Let's go to the beach!" I suggested to my toddler on a recent day off. The weather had finally started warming up, and I wanted to sit on the sand and hear the waves slapping back and forth. I packed up our blanket and toys, slathered on some sunscreen and headed out. But once I set my toddler down on the sand on his bare feet, he cried, "Want to carry up!" He didn't want to stand on the sand. Irritated, I carried my 30-plus pound toddler and a … [Read more...]
Is It Okay to Tell My Son He’s Handsome?
Do you tell your son he's handsome? Here's why I don't tell my son he's handsome and stay away from complimenting his looks. I think my two-year-old looks stunning. I can look at his face and fall in love each time. Being his mom gives me automatic permission to be over-the-top biased. I can brag about him to everyone, except... I don't. I not only refrain from telling others how handsome he is, I don't tell him, either. I'll call him cutie-pie but usually say it when he does something cute (like when he makes jokes). Not when he looks cute. Even for the times when he takes my breath … [Read more...]
Why You Shouldn’t Force Kids to Say Sorry
Teaching kids to say sorry shouldn't include forced apologies—even if done with good intentions. Here's why forcing kids to say sorry isn't a good idea. My toddler wasn't in the best of moods. It was one of those, "Let me whine about the littlest things" days. He and his dad were rough housing when he hit his dad with a plastic toy. Right away the air changed from giddiness to tension, and my son was in no mood to be schooled. Still, I knelt down to my toddler's eye level and said, "We don't hit other people." Okay, so far so good. "Daddy got sad and hurt when you hit him," I … [Read more...]
How Empathy and Storytelling Help with Toddler Tantrums
Learn the benefits of storytelling and showing empathy and how they can help us better understand the reasons our kids behave the way they do. I came across the book The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D. (affiliate link). The book talks about understanding the brain to help us survive daily struggles with our kids. Especially using empathy and storytelling for kids. Most of us have heard of left-brain and right-brain. The more integrated the different brain areas are, the calmer and happier children tend to be. The authors offer 12 strategies … [Read more...]
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