We moms often wonder whether we’re doing enough for our kids and feel guilty we’re not. Check out these 7 reasons you’re doing fine as a mom.
We moms often wonder whether we’re doing enough. Should we be enrolling the kids in summer camp or taking more family vacations? Is it better to pack a healthy school lunch than to let them eat cafeteria food? Are we supposed to pick the baby up each time he cries, or do we just pat him tummy and hope he falls asleep?
Other times, we compare ourselves to other moms. We’re not as organized as our friends, and their kids seem way more disciplined than ours. We also feel guilty for working or not working. Seeing the baby for a few hours a day is heartbreaking for one, while another regrets giving up her career and feels bored and unfulfilled at home.
We’re constantly worrying that we’re screwing up our kids for the things we failed to do. That might be giving them candy and letting them watch TV, or snapping at them while we tried to work on the computer.
7 reasons you’re doing fine as a mom
The mistakes and failures seem to outweigh the good that we do at times. But guess what, mama. You’re doing fine as a mom, and probably way better than you give yourself credit for.
You likely don’t pat yourself on the back for your many accomplishments, while ruminating on the few regrets and mistakes you made. If you need a pick-me-up, a reminder that you’re doing fine as a mom, take a look at these seven reasons that you are:
1. You’re reading this
The first clue you’re doing fine as a mom? You’re reading this article.
Someone who goes through the trouble to read a parenting article is doing fine in my books. The first step in improving anything in our lives is wanting to do so. And that includes reading parenting books and blogs or asking for parenting advice on mom boards.
The fact that you’re taking the time to learn about parenting and raising kids says a lot. This doesn’t mean you don’t make mistakes, but it shows how much you want to continually improve.
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2. You learn from the mistakes you’ve made
No matter how confident we feel, we’ll still doubt whether we’re doing the best for our kids. We wonder if we’re letting them play with the tablet too much or worry they don’t get to socialize with other children enough. It feels like we’ve yelled one time too many and our tempers are escalating.
When you regret your actions, remember these two things:
- We’re not perfect. We’ve made mistakes and will continue to do so. Let’s be kinder to ourselves and set realistic expectations.
- We did the best we could with the knowledge we had then. Everything is a “should’ve” in hindsight. Of course, we should’ve done this and that, but we only realize that down the line. We did what we did because that was what we thought was the best, or that was all that we could do at that time.
Let’s be kind to ourselves and let it go. Your kids won’t remember if they had extracurricular classes or their own bedrooms. Even if they remember you yelled, they’ll understand you felt tired. Find the areas you need to improve and continue to work on them.
3. You prioritize your kids
Have you ever turned down an event because it cuts right into your toddler’s nap time? Do you plan family outings because you think the kids would have a good time?
Moms do things like that. The first thing we consider are our kids. We mull big decisions like asking for a flexible work schedule or small ones like making sure the leftovers are enough for the kids’ lunch tomorrow.
At the same time…
4. You make time for yourself
Moms, don’t “martyr” yourself by assuming the parenting role and nothing else.
Yes, we need to consider our kids above many decisions we make, but we also need to make time for ourselves. Maybe that’s a few hours before the baby goes to bed, or attending a monthly knitting club. Making sure parenting duties fall on both you and your partner’s shoulders and not just yours.
Sacrifice doesn’t make one mom better than another. And sometimes, we can avoid those sacrifices if we made more time for ourselves.
5. You laugh with your kids
How do your friends and family interact with your kids? I’m guessing that they love spending time with them, from laughing at their silly jokes to singing funny songs. I remind myself that other people who don’t get to see my kids often would love to spend time with them.
Parenting isn’t—shouldn’t—be all serious talk. Kids are fun! Any time you have a tickle fest or play a game of I Spy, you’re genuinely enjoying the time you spend with them. If you’re laughing at their latest funny face or at how they play with one another, you’re doing just fine as a mom.
6. You’re doing what works for you
I’ll bet that for everything I write in this blog, there’s another parent who swears by the opposite. Except here’s the thing: Neither one of us is any better than the other. The truth is, we do what works for us.
This isn’t a cop out so we can remain naive, or a pass for every mistake we make. Rather, you know your kids and your situation well. You may put them to bed by 7pm while your friend sets bedtime at 10:30pm. We all have our own ways of doing things, and more than likely, you’re doing as fine as she is.
7. You love your kids
As I was writing this article, my son asked me what I was doing. “I’m writing about being a mom,” I answered. Then I turned to him and asked, “What do you think? What makes a good mom?”
His eyes turned upward as he considered the question. And with the simplicity found in children, he simply replied, “Love.”
So, I share the seventh way you know you’re doing fine as a mom, courtesy of my son: You love your kids.
Sure, you give them the basics like food and shelter as well as luxuries like toys and entertainment. But you shower them with love, a love so intense it can be hard to put into words sometimes. Rest assured, they know you’re doing fine as a mom. And that’s the most important opinion, after all.
Get more tips:
- Why Motherhood Is Hard for You
- Small Habits to Improve Your Parenting
- How to Be a Good Mom (Even When You Feel Discouraged)
- 8 Remarkable Parenting Goals Every Mom Should Have
- Top 7 Tips to Keep Your Sanity as a Mom
Don’t forget: Sign up for the Motherhood Motivation 5-Day Challenge: