How to Take Care of Twins Alone
What do you do when you’re the only one home with your twin babies? Get sanity-saving tips on how to take care of twins alone.
Nearly every twin parent is unanimous when it comes to the number one advice she’d give: Get help from others. But what if you don’t have that network to rely on? Your family and friends may be miles away or your partner needs to go back to work right away.
At some point, you’ll face a time when you’ll need to care for two babies all by yourself. Both my family and in-laws live nearby, so we had help during those early weeks. But even then, I was still surprised at how quickly I found myself alone with the twins, especially after my husband’s paternity leave finished.
What can you do when you find yourself alone with the twins? Take a look at these tips that helped me the most:
Prepare ahead of time
When you’re alone, you don’t have the convenience of hollering to someone to please fetch the diaper cream or pacifier. So, the next best thing is to think about what you might need within the next few moments.
If you’re bathing the twins, lay out all their outfits ahead of time so you don’t have to scramble as you leave the bathroom. If you’re changing their diapers, open the tub of diaper cream and lay the diapers flat. And if you’re bottle-feeding after a nap, lay out your twin pillow, prepare the formulas, and grab the burp cloth long before you even set them down.
In other words, get everything ready before you start an activity so that you can focus on the task at hand.
Free resource: Are you struggling with getting your twins to sleep through the night? My guide, How to Sleep Train Twins, can help! Join my newsletter and grab the preview chapter below—at no cost to you:
Use your baby gear
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As a new twin mom, you’ll wish you had an extra pair of arms to carry one baby while you hold the other. While you can’t grow a new pair of arms, you can do the next best thing: replicate that feeling. Here are a few helpful items:
- The swing was my go-to gear when I needed to put one baby down while I held the other.
- A baby wrap or carrier was yet another item that freed up my arms for at least one baby.
- Infant seats next to each other (or even twin nursing pillows like the Twin Z pillow) allow you to nurse or bottle feed the babies at the same time (once they can hold their heads up).
You have permission to get any baby gear that can make life easier, especially if you’re learning how to take care of twins alone. There were many days when I was alone with the twins all day until my husband came home. I couldn’t be shy about using gear that could save my sanity and make my days go much easier.
Prepare your meals ahead of time
Many twin parents who’ve had to go at it alone admitted that getting something to eat was one of the most time-consuming tasks they had. Not to mention expensive if the only alternative is to eat takeout or delivery meals.
It’s not too late to prepare freezer food. Set aside a weekend to prepare your meals for at least a week or even a month. That way, when it’s time to grab a quick lunch, you’ll have real food to rely on.
Another option is to find slow cooker recipes. You can toss the ingredients together in the morning and they’ll be ready a few hours later. No need to stand over the stove to make your meals!
Ask family and friends to come for an extended visit
Even if your family and friends live nowhere nearby, is there a chance that they can stay for an extended period of time? Perhaps your parents, grandparents, friends, or siblings can set aside a week to visit and help you with the twins.
For instance, my mom stayed for several weeks after my husband had to go back to work.
Extended visitors are especially helpful because they’ll come to know your twins and their daily routines. You won’t have to explain where to find the wipes or which twin finds comfort with the pacifier. Your live-in family or friend will know how to take care of the twins almost as well as you do.
Regularly call your family and friends
With no family or friends nearby, do the next best thing and call them regularly. It seems silly, but make a list of people you can call and check them off each time you need to talk to someone.
For those you feel comfortable with, ask if you can call them at any hour of the day. Sometimes you have a question about getting your baby to sleep at 2am or are about to break down and cry at dinner time. Not all people may be available at any hour, but it’s good to know they’re available for you.
And sometimes you need that moral support to let you know you’re doing a great job! Just because it took you forever to put the twins down for a nap doesn’t mean you’re a terrible parent. Often, it’s the support and encouragement we need to remind us how well we’re doing.
Join mommy groups
While you may not have relatives and friends in the area, you can begin to nurture relationships with others nearby who can help, like a multiples group. You’ll meet other parents who can offer advice, moral support, and even hand-me-down gear and help when you need it.
If you don’t have a multiples group nearby, find a regular moms group to join. While they don’t know what it’s like to care for twins, they can be a great source of friendship and resources.
Another option is to befriend other parents in childbirth classes. Even if they’re not twin parents, they can provide immense support and friendship throughout the years, especially since your kids will be the same age.
If you can’t find any local groups, join online ones for moral support and advice. Even if you don’t connect face to face, you can post a question or vent about topics that singleton parents may not understand.
Outsource help
If you have the budget, hiring help can make a huge difference. Here are a few options:
- A nanny usually works full or part-time hours during the day and can help care for the twins. You won’t have to figure out how to take care of twins alone with someone right there by your side. And you’ll want to hire a nanny who has had experience caring for twins in the past.
- A night nurse is like a nanny but comes to your house in the evenings and throughout the night. Her job is to care for the twins so you can get as much sleep as possible. Even if you still need to wake up to nurse, she can help burp and hold the babies and soothe them when they’re fussy.
- A babysitter can offer once-in-a-while help when you need it. Sometimes all you need is a night out with your partner or an afternoon to yourself. Hiring an experienced babysitter (one who has cared for twins alone) can be all you need.
- A cleaning service can take a lot of the household work off your shoulders so you can focus on the twins or catch the rest you need. Even if you don’t normally hire a cleaning service, you might consider budgeting for a few during the early months.
- And finally, a mother’s helper usually comes to your home for a few hours a day to do light work or babysitting. She might be your neighbor’s teenager or a local college student and can help by playing with your older child, tidying up in the kitchen, or feeding and holding the babies.
Reach out to your neighbors
For anyone who has to go it alone with two babies, getting to know your neighbors can be so helpful.
One time, I was freaking out when my baby was having issues with bowel movements. I knocked on our neighbors’ doors asking if they had prune juice. No one did, but one family was so kind that they drove to our local grocery store and bought one for me.
So, while neighbors may not come over to babysit the twins, they can be helpful for little things like buying or lending items you need.
If you’re shy like me, remind yourself that most people enjoy helping others. You might be surprised at the kindness you’ll find in your neighbors.
Get out of the house often
Being out with twins alone is no easy feat. You’ve got the diaper bag, the double stroller, and all their little gadgets to keep them happy. They can fuss at any time, leaving you frantic or even self-conscious as you juggle your crying babies.
But getting out of the house can help you so much more than staying home all day. Even if it seems easier to stay in, it’ll do you good to break up your day to have something to do.
I stayed indoors for the first month with the twins, leaving only for doctor’s appointments. Those early weeks were pure survival mode, and I needed to focus on rest and keeping my babies indoors.
But after those initial weeks, it felt so much better to be out of the house, even for a walk around the block. It also gave me something to do when the twins were fussy (they’d often stop fussing the minute we were outside in the fresh air).
Final thoughts
Hopefully, you can see how doable taking care of twins alone can be. You’re doing a fantastic job, one few people can truly understand.
And a big part of that is getting it done—we have no choice but to. Our biggest obstacles often push us to be our strongest. Twin moms who’ve had to care for their babies alone have admitted that doing it is one of the best ways to feel confident.
As hard as it can be, you now have the resources to make it a whole lot easier. I wish every twin mom had a village to rely on, but as you can see, you’ll also do fine, with or without one.
Get more tips:
- Surprising Costs of Raising Twins
- How to Encourage Individuality in Twins
- 11 Interesting Facts about Twins You May Not Know
- 8 Secrets to Surviving Twins in the Newborn Months
- How to Cope when You’re Struggling with Twins
Don’t forget: Join my newsletter and grab the preview chapter of How to Sleep Train Twins below—at no cost to you:
