How to Tell If a Baby Is Hungry or Wants Comfort

Wondering if your newborn really wants to eat or is comfort sucking? Learn how to tell if a baby is hungry or wants comfort instead.

How to Tell If Baby Is Hungry or Wants ComfortIf  babies suck to both eat and seek comfort, how can you tell which is which?

For any mom who feels tethered to her baby 24/7, this question has likely popped into your head. You’ve fed him, but he screams if you put him down. But once you pick him up, he starts rooting again as if he hadn’t just eaten. You feel like all you do all day is nurse or hold him to sleep—anything else and he’s screaming and crying.

How can you tell if he’s still hungry or just wants something to suck on?

How to tell if your baby is hungry or wants comfort

I hear you, friend. As a first-time mom, I had no idea whether my baby was hungry or seeking comfort when he nursed. But after researching and observing his patterns, I discovered that there is a way to tell the difference.

Take a look at these tips and suggestions from what I learned during the newborn stage. Hopefully, you can also get a better sense of what to do when you find yourself wondering this question as well. As one parent said about the article:

“This was written for me, thank you!” -Charlotte

Newborn Stage

1. Check how your baby is sucking

How can you tell if your baby is waking from hunger or habit? Check how he’s sucking.

If he latches on well and takes long, drawn-out pulls, then he’s likely hungry and eating. But if his sucking motion is short and shallow, then he’s probably sucking for comfort.

You can also check whether he’s swallowing the milk. Listen for a swallowing sound, and see if his throat moves with each gulp. If you it moves, then he’s swallowing milk, but if it stays still, then he’s only moving his mouth to comfort suck.

Free resource: Do you struggle with getting him to sleep? His awake time might be affecting how well he sleeps or not. Get One Mistake You’re Making with Your Baby’s Awake Time—at no cost to you. Help him fall asleep with this one simple trick! You’ll also get my newsletters, which parents say they LOVE:

“Thank you for this really important reminder. I appreciate this a ton and the important work you do.” -Ellen B.

One Mistake You're Making with Your Baby's Awake Time

2. Your baby fights the pacifier

Once breastfeeding has been established, a pacifier is a fantastic alternative to comfort sucking. I’d offer them to my babies to calm them down or help them sleep longer.

So, when you notice that your baby fights the pacifier—outright spits it out and everything—more than likely, he’s hungry. This is especially true if he normally takes to the pacifier, but sometimes wants nothing to do with it. He wants food at that moment, not comfort.

3. Your baby is showing hunger signs

Pay attention to your baby’s cues that he might be hungry for milk, such as:

4. Your baby sleeps in long stretches

Does your baby sleeps for long stretches? You can imagine that he’d want to eat all the other times when he’s awake. After all, if he went five hours without eating, he’s probably going to be hungry when he’s awake.

Long stretches happen during the day and night. Maybe he takes a long midday nap, which means he wakes up hungry in the middle of the night. Or vice versa: he sleeps pretty well at night, leading to frequent feedings during the day.

Even if he eats often, he truly can be hungry all those times because he goes long stretches without eating.

Learn how to get your baby to sleep longer stretches at night.

How to Get Baby to Sleep Longer Stretches at Night

Best practices for frequent feedings

Even if you can tell your baby’s cries for hunger and comfort, what can you do to make these frequent feedings a little bit easier? Take a look at these best practices and reminders:

1. Keep your baby awake while feeding

Nothing’s worse than hearing your baby cry for another feeding when you’d just fed him not too long ago. Yet here he is again, crying for more.

One possible reason is that he really is hungry. How? He wasn’t actually eating while he was feeding. Instead, he was in a sleepy state, drowsily sucking before falling asleep.

The best way to make sure that he’s taking in the milk is to keep him awake while you feed. Yep, even if he’s so sleepy—wake him up if need be. For instance, you can:

  • Unlatch and re-latch
  • Switch sides
  • Tickle his feet
  • Give him a little jiggle
  • Burp him

2. Feed on demand

You’d just fed your baby less than an hour ago, and here he is again, awake and ready to eat. Is it normal for him to feed so often?

The resounding answer from doctors and parents is: yes, frequent feedings are completely normal in this stage.

For one thing, your baby’s stomach is so tiny at birth that he can’t exactly load up on milk to tide him over for a long stretch. Breastmilk also digests quicker than formula, which leads to frequent feedings. He could also be going through a growth spurt that requires plenty of calories.

And even if he ate even 10 minutes ago, he could still be fussing for more. Think about a toddler who says he wants more crackers even though he’d just finished a whole bowl of them. A toddler can tell you that he wants more food with words—a baby does the same with crying.

So, don’t feel like you’re doing anything “wrong” if you feed often. You’re simply responding to your baby’s needs.

3. Know that your baby is probably hungry than not

“Babies almost always cry because they’re hungry,” our pediatrician reassured us. Yes, they might cry because they’re bored, uncomfortable, or feel hot or cold. But the biggest reason they cry is usually to eat.

This helped me mentally whenever my babies would cry and I’d once again have to feed them even if they’d just eaten. Rather than guessing whether they were hungry or not, I assumed that they were and fed them. Only when they were showing signs that they weren’t actually hungry did I try other options.

4. See the positive side of frequent feedings

For any mom glued to her baby, frequent feedings can feel like a heavy burden to bear. But rather than trying to change the circumstances, what if you changed your perception of them?

Accept that your baby feeds frequently at this stage in his life. Then, think about the benefits of nursing often. For instance, you can…

  • bond with him
  • build your milk supply
  • know that he’s gaining weight
  • rest and relax
  • read a book or watch a movie

Even in the darkest moments, you can still rest assured that this is a temporary stage in your life. Yes, weeks and months can feel like eons, but they’re still a pretty short season when you compare it to the rest of his childhood.

By changing the stories you tell yourself, you can release the anger and resentment and replace them with acceptance and even joy.

Conclusion

One of the biggest burdens we place on ourselves is feeling pressured to “know” our babies. We’re supposed to figure out their newborn sleep cues and differentiate between their cries. And of course, we’re supposed to know when they’re hungry or not.

So, when we find ourselves stumped, we feel guilty for not living up to our expectations.

Rest assured that you’re not doing anything wrong for feeding your baby often, or for wondering whether he’s even hungry or not. Hopefully, you’ve learned a few tricks to see whether he’s eating out of hunger or for comfort, as well as what to do to make these challenging times easier.

You’ve got this, mama—even if you sometimes (okay, all the time) feel tethered to your baby 24/7.

Newborn Sleep Cues

Get more tips:

Don’t forget: Join my newsletter and get One Mistake You’re Making with Your Baby’s Awake Time—at no cost to you:

One Mistake You're Making with Your Baby's Awake Time

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

8 Comments

  1. Charlotte says:

    This was written for me, thank you!

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      I’m glad this was helpful, Charlotte!

  2. Angelyn de Jesus says:

    This really helps A LOT. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      I’m so glad to hear that Angelyn. Thanks for letting me know!

  3. Thank you for your tips and tricks. Would love to know more.

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      Hi Trang! I’m glad you like the tips and tricks! Check out the links above for even more info.

  4. Tiara Breland says:

    Thanks so much!