For many pregnant moms, welcoming a baby can be a difficult challenge to get through. Here’s how to stay positive during pregnancy and when times are tough.
I know I’m not alone when I say your pregnancy can get tough. For you, it might be caring for your toddler when you can barely walk, thinking of financial bills to come, or coping with health issues. And when it rains, it pours—bad luck seems to invite even more bad luck.
I hardly have bad luck in life, but it seems to have barged right through the door as I neared the end of my twin pregnancy.
You see, I endured several discomforts throughout the pregnancy, like being sick five times, to double the fatigue and nausea, and even struggling to gain enough weight to ensure these babies are a healthy size.
But as the pregnancy progressed, I faced even more challenging complications.
Besides coming down with a PUPPPs rash, I also had cholestasis, yet another itch-related pregnancy complication. (Why I had two itch-related complications that have nothing to do with each other is beyond me.) But unlike PUPPPs, cholestasis posed a risk to the babies, which meant I had to visit the doctor three times a week to monitor their health and delivering no later than 37 weeks.
From physical complications I never imagined, to worrying about how I was going to afford all this, I had to learn how to stay positive during pregnancy.
How to stay positive during pregnancy
Our home was a whirlwind of madness, to say the least, on top of a three-year-old to care for and a husband battling bronchitis. I was ready to wallow in self-pity, but reminded myself that these babies were relying on me to stay positive.
This is what I told myself to stay positive during a difficult pregnancy, especially when things weren’t going exactly smooth:
1. Focus on the good
One of the best ways to ease worries and anxiety is to think about something else, even for a short while.
We are where our attention is, so the more we focus and dwell on our problems, the more we seem to invite them. Beside, no one ever felt good staying stuck in negative emotions, obsessing over every detail.
For me, distractions meant watching a funny show or playing games on my iPhone. (Yes that’s me playing Scramble with Friends and Draw Something at 3am.) I hung out with my three-year-old and talked to my husband and mom about topics other than the difficult pregnancy.
Find even the smallest positive thing to be grateful. And I mean small—it could be the beautiful clouds in the sky or that you were able to get a morning appointment with the doctor. These positive parts of your life are there, often in abundance, if you pay attention to them.
In my case, I was fortunate that the babies remained healthy despite the complications, and that I was in competent hands with my doctors. My son still loved to kiss my belly, and I was even grateful for the disabled parking placard that meant I didn’t have to walk too far.
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2. Have a good cry or vent
At the same time, maybe you need to get the emotions out of your system. While you don’t want to stay miserable too long, it’s also not healthy to bottle up your feelings. Accept the emotions you feel, whether it’s the guilt of not being grateful for the pregnancy, or the worries of how you’ll manage once she’s born.
I found solace in online twin groups dealing with similar complications so I knew I’m not alone. I also emailed my friends the latest updates for their support.
3. Tell yourself these challenges are temporary
Is this permanent? Of course not. Change is constant, which means everything in life—both the highs and lows—come and go.
This frustrating stage in your life is temporary, even if it may not seem like it. Pregnancy itself has a deadline, down to the date. Soon enough, you’ll be more mobile and without pregnancy complications.
And if you’re worried about parenthood in general—in other words, what comes after the pregnancy—know that even that stage is temporary. Yes, you’ll be sleep-deprived and your routine will be disrupted, but the newborn season also ebbs and flows and is never permanent.
4. It’s all for good reason
I’ve always felt that our experiences in life help mold us into the people we need to be. For instance, bad relationships in the past can teach us about what we want in a partner, and poor decisions help us grow into more mature adults.
Look for the lessons to be learned in this particular season in your life.
What can this difficult pregnancy teach you, what lessons do you still need to learn? How can you grow as a human being to overcome these challenges? And what opportunities are available that never would had you not been right here, right now?
Even the annoyances and hassles serve their purpose. However much of a nuisance frequent medical tests may be, they’ve ensured my health and those of the babies. I was reminded that the sacrifices were worth the trouble when I eventually held two baby boys in my arms.
In other words, remember your “why” to help you plow through even the toughest days.
Several nights, I cried from the discomforts of carrying twins and having complications. It’s easy to cry and mope, feeling depressed about your predicament.
But then you wake up the next day and realize that there’s still goodness around. You can focus on the positive things in your life that can be so easily obscured by obsessing about the negative. You can release your emotions and come to a healthy place of acceptance, whatever the feelings might be.
These challenges are also temporary, so that no matter how difficult, scary, or frustrating it is, your pregnancy will soon be over. And that you can find the good in all of this, from realizing how far you’ve come, to remembering your “why.”
For me that meant remembering that I had an amazing family—plus two little ones on the way—worth holding on for.
Get more tips:
- What Every Mom Needs to Know About Her Second Pregnancy
- How to Survive a Pregnancy with a Toddler
- 8 Tips to Save for Maternity Leave
- 9 Signs You’re in the First Trimester
- What Are the Signs to Stop Working During Pregnancy?
Not sure what you need to do during your pregnancy? Join my newsletter and download your printable checklist below—at no cost to you: