For many pregnant women, welcoming a baby can be a difficult challenge to get through. Here’s how to stay positive during pregnancy.
I know I’m not alone when I say your pregnancy can get tough. For you, it might be caring for your toddler when you can barely walk, thinking of financial bills to come, or coping with health issues. And when it rains, it pours—bad luck seems to invite even more bad luck.
I hardly have bad luck in life, but it seems to have barged right through the door as I neared the end of my twin pregnancy.
You see, I endured discomforts, like being sick, to double the fatigue and nausea, and even struggling to gain enough weight.
But as the pregnancy progressed, I faced even more challenging complications.
Besides coming down with a PUPPPs rash, I also had cholestasis, another itch-related complication. (Why I had two itch-related complications that have nothing to do with each other is beyond me.) But cholestasis posed a risk to the babies, which meant I had to visit the doctor three times a week to monitor their health and deliver early.
From physical complications to excessive worrying about how I was going to afford all the expenses, I had to learn how to stay positive during pregnancy.
How to stay positive during pregnancy
Our home was a whirlwind of madness, to say the least, on top of a three-year-old to care for and a husband battling bronchitis. I was ready to wallow in self-pity, but reminded myself that these babies were relying on me to hang in there.
These are the positive affirmations I told myself, especially when things weren’t going exactly smooth:
1. Focus on the good
One of the best ways to ease worries, anxiety, and tension is to change our state of mind and think about something else, even for a short while.
We are where our attention is, so the more we focus and dwell on our problems, the more we seem to invite them. Besides, no one ever felt good staying stuck in negative thoughts, obsessing over every detail.
For me, distractions meant watching a funny movie or playing games on my phone. I hung out with my three-year-old and talked to my husband and mom about topics other than the difficult pregnancy.
Find even the smallest positive blessings to be grateful. And I mean small—it could be hobbies you still get to enjoy or that you were able to get a morning appointment with the doctor. These positive parts of your life are there, often in abundance, if you pay attention.
In my case, I was fortunate that the babies remained healthy despite the complications, and that I was in competent hands with my doctors and nurses. My son still loved to kiss my belly, and I was even grateful for the disabled parking placard that meant I didn’t have to walk too far.
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2. Have a good cry or vent
At the same time, maybe you need to get the emotions out of your system so they don’t take a toll on you.
While you don’t want to stay in a miserable mood too long, it’s also not healthy to bottle up your negative feelings. Accept the emotions you feel, whether it’s the guilt of not being grateful for the pregnancy, or the worries of how you’ll manage once your baby is born.
I found solace in online twin support groups dealing with similar complications so I knew I wasn’t alone. I also emailed my friends the latest updates for their support.
Read more about what to do when you feel unhappy with parenthood.
3. Tell yourself these challenges are temporary
Is this permanent? Of course not. Change is constant, which means everything in life—both the highs and lows—comes and go.
This frustrating stage in your life is temporary, even if it may not seem like it. Pregnancy itself has a deadline, down to the due date. Soon enough, you’ll be more mobile and without pregnancy complications.
And if you’re worried about parenthood in general—in other words, what comes after labor—know that even that stage is temporary. Yes, you’ll be sleep-deprived and your routine will be disrupted, but the newborn season also ebbs and flows and is never permanent.
Get tips on overcoming obstacles in life.
4. It’s all for good reason
I’ve always felt that our experiences in life help mold us into the people we need to be. For instance, bad relationships in the past can teach us about what we want in a partner, and poor decisions help us grow into more mature adults.
Look for the lessons to be learned in this particular season in your life.
What can this difficult pregnancy teach you? What lessons do you still need to learn? How can you grow as a human being to overcome a particular burden you’re worrying about? And what opportunities are available that never would have had you not been right here, right now?
Even the annoyances and hassles serve their purpose. However much of a nuisance frequent medical tests may be, they’ve ensured my health and those of the babies. I was reminded that the sacrifices were worth the trouble when I eventually held two baby boys in my arms.
In other words, remember your “why” to help you plow through even the toughest days.
Learn how to cope with the “second child guilt.”
Conclusion
Several nights, I cried from the discomforts of carrying twins and having complications. It’s easy to cry and mope, feeling depressed about your predicament.
But then you wake up the next day and realize that there’s still goodness around. Positive thinking shows all the good things in your life that can be so easily obscured by obsessing about the negative. You can release your emotions and come to a healthy place of acceptance, whatever the feelings might be.
This challenge is also temporary, so that no matter how difficult, scary, or frustrating it is, your pregnancy will soon be over. And that you can find the good in all of this, from realizing how far you’ve come, to remembering your “why.”
For me that meant remembering that I had an amazing family—plus two little ones on the way—worth holding on for.
Get more tips:
- What Every Mom Needs to Know About Her Second Pregnancy
- How to Survive a Pregnancy with a Toddler
- 8 Tips to Save for Maternity Leave
- 9 Signs You’re in the First Trimester
- What Are the Signs to Stop Working During Pregnancy?
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I had that horrible itchy PUPPS rash with my son and it is miserable. If you can endure the smell they make this pine tar soap. I was so desperate I tried it and for whatever reason it helps. I ordered mine from Amazon because we lived in the middle of nowhere NM at the time but its sold in most health food or natural food stores.
Hi Molly, I actually did give pine tar soap a try. I’m not sure if it worked or not since I was trying just about anything. What seemed to temper my PUPPPs rash ended up being a prescription ointment that the dermatologist prescribed. It was an anti-inflammatory ointment so it helped to dry out the rash. They’re brown now though, but hopefully will fade soon.
Sorry you had to go through PUPPPs too! It really is miserable and it almost seems silly telling people you have a rash since it sounds so benign, but I think those of us who’ve had it can attest that it is terrible!
Nina, you are so right! I felt kind of silly complaining about PUPPS too because when you explain it’s an itchy rash I’m sure many people think, “So? How bad can it be?!” But if beyond being just annoying and frustratingly uncomfortable it itches so bad and then sort of feels like your skin is crawling with ants on fire! And of course your already exhausted, pregnant self becomes even more tired because of the itching! I had gestational diabetes too so at the point I really thought I would snap. But for the grace of God I didn’t get put on bed rest because that probably would have nixed my sanity.
PUPPPs and cholestasis rashes are definitely a category of their own that I’ve never experienced, and I’ve had itchy rashes before too. At least with cholestasis there are medicines to take; with PUPPPs, since it’s not dangerous, there isn’t much research or medicine to temper the itch. I think the worst part is hearing that you’re bound to have it until delivery.