What to Do When Your Toddler Suddenly Won’t Sleep

Frustrated because your toddler suddenly won’t sleep (even when he’d slept well before)? Learn what to do when your child cries at bedtime!

Toddler Suddenly Won't SleepMy toddler had always been a pretty good sleeper and, like his brothers, would fall asleep within minutes of tucking him in. He rarely woke up in the middle of the night, and if he did, calming him down and putting him back to sleep was easy.

Except there was a stage when, for several weeks, bedtime was dreadful. He’d resist going to sleep, screaming forever before finally collapsing in exhaustion.

This is my good sleeper? I thought.

Nothing changed in our bedtime routine or lifestyle—no new schedule, much less a new baby or school. I tried different bedtimes (earlier and later) with no luck. I even tried changing their nightlight, hoping that maybe that would do the trick.

Nope, it didn’t. I had no idea what I was missing.

What to do when your toddler suddenly won’t sleep

It’s always hard to see what could trigger such big changes and disruption, especially when nothing on the outside seems different. But over the years, I’ve learned that, like all human beings, kids are hardly predictable, much less logical, when it comes to how we feel and behave.

In short, these things happen, even if we don’t always understand why.

Whether it’s your toddler’s sudden separation anxiety at bedtime or testing boundaries, kids can turn into dreadful sleepers. Maybe your toddler won’t go to sleep until late, has hit a sleep regression, or screams and cries at bedtime.

If this is sounding all too familiar, rest assured you’re not stuck. More than likely, you don’t even have to do anything other than stay consistent with your routine. You also want to avoid any new sleep habits you’d have to undo later (letting her sleep in your bed, for instance).

But you can also try these five simple solutions that can help when your toddler suddenly won’t sleep. Toddler sleep problems are never easy, but with these tips, you can help her go back to sleeping well again. As one parent said about the article:

“Hi thank you so much for the tips. My nearly 3 year old boy has started fighting sleep. We were thinking that taking a nap might be a good idea but now I know it’s what we have to do. Thanks again.” -Karen

Toddler Sudden Separation Anxiety at Bedtime

1. Plan “boring” days

Take a look at the last few days your toddler has had. Have they been overwhelming or overstimulating?

Maybe his afternoons have been jam-packed with activities or errands that wear him out. And don’t discount daycare or preschool, either—not having downtime, or perhaps children crying, can also feel overwhelming.

While you may not be able to do much when he’s in school, you can do plenty to schedule the time you are with him. Cut down on outings and activities, or run errands when you’re alone. Schedule only one main event each weekend, instead of cramming two in a day.

Because there truly is a benefit to having a “boring” day at home. Even now, I hardly take my kids anywhere else during school days so that they can recharge and relax. The regularity of our days also builds a consistent routine they’ve grown used to.

Try it for a few days: don’t plan too many outings for your toddler and only stick to the ones you have to do. He could benefit from having plenty of time at home doing activities he gets to decide on his own.

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2. Have a calmer transition into bedtime

With more downtime in your days, it’s time to focus on those crucial moments before bedtime.

First, build a consistent bedtime ritual, doing the same things at the same time in the same order. For instance, head to the bathroom to brush his teeth and bathe. Tuck him under the blanket with his lovey and give goodnight kisses.

This helps ingrain the familiarity and can ease the anxiety he may have about bedtime.

But even before you do these bedtime rituals, implement a quiet time and keep your evenings fairly calm. Maybe this means playing with favorite toys or a new puzzle instead of running around playing chase. You might even want to avoid television shows or devices that are too stimulating.

That way, come bedtime, his brain isn’t too wired with too many things to process and absorb, making him less likely to resist sleep.

Get examples of a 2 year old sleep schedule.

2 Year Old Sleep Schedule

3. Leave the door slightly open

Sometimes all it takes is a simple “negotiation” when your toddler suddenly won’t sleep. In my case, something as simple as leaving the door a little bit open did the trick.

Normally, I’d close their bedroom door shut so I don’t feel obligated to walk on tiptoes once they’re asleep. But I proposed keeping the door slightly open—about five inches—which was enough to convince my toddler to sleep.

And you know what? Those five inches didn’t seem to bother them at all. I kept the fan on in their room to muffle any sounds, and the light peeking in from the rest of the house was more reassuring than distracting.

Learn how to keep your toddler in their room at night.

How to Keep Toddler in Room at Night

4. Give your toddler one of your items to sleep with

You may not want (or be able) to lie next to your toddler as she falls asleep, but that doesn’t mean you can’t give her something of yours to sleep with.

Having one of your items is another way you can meet halfway. She gets to sleep with an item she normally doesn’t, in exchange for actually trying to sleep.

The item is also a special reminder of you at a time when you’re not together. Just as you might give her something of yours to remember you when you travel, so too can you do the same during sleep time. As “regular” as sleep may be to you, these hours can truly feel like time apart for her.

So, dig through your stuff and find something she can take to bed. Maybe it’s an old stuffed animal you saved from childhood or the pillow you regularly sleep with. These simple items can be all it takes for a good night’s sleep.

5. Experiment with naps

If your toddler continues to resist, one possible culprit could be his daytime sleep. He might be taking too many naps or napping too many hours of sleep during the day, making him less sleepy come bedtime.

Naptime could also be too close to bedtime, not allowing him enough wake time in between. For instance, if he takes an afternoon nap from 1-4pm and bedtime is at 7pm, three hours may not be long enough to feel sleepy again.

You might want to experiment with the timing of his naps, or perhaps drop a nap altogether. Toddlers typically drop to two naps around 14-18 months old, then stick to the one-nap-a-day schedule for a while.

Get more tips on how to transition to one nap.

Transition to One Nap

6. Keep your toddler active during the day

Kids are notorious for having energy they need to get out in one way or another. Staying stationary too long during the day might mean your toddler is ready to play and goof around come bedtime.

You’d be surprised how easy it is for kids to stay stationary for long periods. TV and screen time are obvious culprits, but even calm activities like reading or crafts can prevent her from being active.

My kids’ pediatrician recommended that kids shouldn’t be in the same position for more than an hour at a time, except for sleep. That means if your toddler has been sitting and playing trains for an hour, it’s time to move her into a new (and hopefully physical) activity.

And aim for at least one outing that allows her to be active, like taking her to the park or going for an after-dinner walk.

7. Put your foot down

Frustrated when your toddler refuses to go to or stay in bed? Don’t compromise about going to bed, or at least staying in her room. Even if she says she wants water or just one more story, put your foot down on when bedtime needs to be. Be kind and calm but firm in your decision so she knows what to expect.

Instead of accommodating her every whim, do strategic check-ins. For instance, tuck her in bed and explain that it’s bedtime. If she cries or resists, set a timer and check in every few minutes, putting her back in bed each time.

Don’t let her wander into the living room or your bedroom, and don’t give in for minor reasons that you suspect she’s making up just to get out of bed. Sometimes the issues we run into with our kids go right back to us enabling them to continue with their behavior.

Conclusion

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It’s never easy when your toddler suddenly won’t sleep, especially when he had been your champion sleeper all this time.

Still, there’s hope with turning these behaviors around. Start with lifestyle adjustments, from clearing up your calendars to making the hours before bedtime low-key. Little hacks like leaving his bedroom door slightly open or giving him one of your items to sleep with can also convince him to fall asleep.

And finally, experiment with naps and avoid those that are too close to bedtime, or perhaps drop one altogether.

Above all, don’t give in to sleep habits you’d rather not continue, like letting him sleep in your bed after night wakings or staying in his room until he falls asleep. They can come in useful when you’ve just about had it, but relying on these habits in the long term can cement them further.

Rest assured, he can go back to sleeping well once again and be the good sleeper he always was.

p.s. Check out Sleep Like a Tiger by Mary Logue to help your resistant child finally take to going to bed:

Sleep Like a Tiger

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