When Do Twins Get Easier?

When do twins get easier? Having twins is hard, but here are the milestones that mark easier times as well tips on how to manage in the meantime.

When Do Twins Get Easier?All twin moms have been there.

The overwhelming feeling when the babies cry at the same time. The cycle of feeding, changing, and putting them to sleep that never seems to end. Finding whatever few minutes of sleep at a time you can squeeze in.

Never mind that you hardly get any one-on-one time with either twin, unable to nurture and bond with them like you wanted to. Having twins isn’t as fun as you had imagined, leaving you wondering whether anyone else is going through this.

Well, twin mama… I’ve been there.

My husband went back to work when the twins were 10 weeks old, but I wasn’t set to return to work until a few more weeks. Juggling newborn twins (and our preschooler!) with my husband was hard enough—now I needed to do so alone.

Caring for twins during those early weeks feels like the 25th mile in a marathon. You’ve already gone through so much, unsure if you can take any more. And while everyone says that this newborn phase will soon pass, staying motivated and positive is getting harder by the day.

The ironic part about the 25th mile? After having gone through all that you have, you don’t always see how close you are to that finish line.

Moms of multiples will tell you that the first three to four months is a stage of pure survival mode and sleep deprivation. The babies are colicky, gassy, and don’t even offer a smile in return. Tandem breastfeeding is awkward, and you still have to cradle their heads.

Add to that all the other challenges of caring for a newborn… times two.

When do twins get easier?

After a few weeks, the madness of raising twins feels like it’ll never end (that 25th mile feeling, remember?). But I promise you, just a few short weeks later, you’ll start noticing some changes. Life will get easier, whether from developmental milestones or your own progress and growth.

And even if you’re in the thick of it, there’s hope. Take a look at these parents’ messages after reading this article:

“I’ve read this probably six times. It helps every step of the way. Today is a day that tears silently fall from shear frustration of never feeling like we can keep up or care for ourselves. It’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. So thank you!” -Bonnie

“Saving this article to my favorites because I so needed to hear this today.” -Deanna

Here are a few ages and milestones that make caring for twins easier:

1. At three months:

The three-month stage marks the end of the “fourth trimester” and your twins can better adapt to life outside the womb.

For one thing, they’ll sleep in longer stretches of about three- to four-hour chunks. As little as that may seem compared to eight hours, those longer stretches make a huge difference in sleep and your routine.

They’re also forming more predictable sleep patterns, taking naps at regular times and lengths. Even if they still rely on you to fall asleep, they’ve grown used to their routine and schedule to sleep regularly.

You’ll also feel more comfortable nursing. Before, I didn’t bother tandem-feeding my twins until they were one or two weeks old. And when I did, I couldn’t do so alone. By this time, you’ll likely have mastered feeding them at the same time by yourself.

2. At four months:

This was the turning point for our family because this was when we sleep trained the twins. No more rocking them to sleep—now we could put them down in their crib (awake!), close the door, and walk away. They’d get a full 11 to 12 hours of sleep, a feat that seemed impossible not too long ago.

Besides being able to put themselves to sleep, your twins will now enjoy tummy time and more interaction with you. They’ll bat at toys and play on a blanket, allowing you to sneak in some tasks.

Free resource: Are you ready to help them sleep through the night? Check out a free chapter of my guide, How to Sleep Train Twins! Join my newsletter and grab it below—at no cost to you. As one parent said:

“As a mother of twin girls I was in need of sleep training my girls but my friends really couldn’t help me since they all had singletons and I had so many questions on how to sleep train with two in the same nursery.

My husband and I bought the book, were able to read and understand it in one day, and were ready to start the training. We waited till the girls were six months. Now they basically sleep from 7pm-7am.

Naps are so much easier too. While the girls still sometimes cry we are able to put them down at the same time and actually get stuff done again.

I also feel like both my girls are much happier being able to put themselves to sleep on their own. So not only are mommy and daddy happier but the kids are too.” -Debbie F.

How to Sleep Train Twins

3. At six months:

During this stage, your twins can sit up and play independently. They’ll sleep in longer stretches on their own, and you’ll also have fewer middle of the night feedings. You’re probably offering baby food, adding another fun milestone as you experiment with foods to introduce.

This is also the time when you’re snuggling and playing with your babies. You’ll feel confident taking them out on outings and errands, all by yourself. You can sit them on your lap and read books together or watch their curiosity about their surroundings.

4. At nine months:

Your twins have been eating solids, but this is the stage where they can now feed themselves. They can pick food with their hands or use a spoon to scoop, and eat independently in their high chairs. You can even eat your meals with them, cutting down yet another task to do later.

5. At 10 months:

This is when having twins becomes a true perk: your twins will begin playing with each other! They may not be throwing a ball back and forth just yet, but they’ll likely make each other laugh. Now they’re not only amused by their parents, but with each other as well.

This perk will only get better as they grow older. Laughing turns to playing peek-a-boo to toddlers racing around the house together. One of my favorite moments was watching my twins play with each other when they thought no one was looking. Not every baby gets his own special play mate.

How to stay motivated in the meantime

As reassuring as it may be to hear these milestones you’ll soon reach, you might still need motivation to get you through. After all, life with twins can move slowly, where one week—even one day—can feel like an eternity. What can you do to stay motivated during the last few stretches of the marathon?

1. Remember that you are nurturing your twins

From bathing to feeding to changing diapers, you might feel guilty that you’re not bonding with or nurturing your twins. But meeting their basic needs is a loving and nurturing act.

Don’t feel guilty for not doing the baby activities you had planned, or that you don’t have as much one-on-one time. Every interaction you have with them is automatically a precious moment between you.

That said, use these moments to engage with them. Changing their diaper? Sing a favorite nursery song while you do. Bottle feeding? Talk to them about your upcoming day.

Not every chore has to feel like a race to get over with. Practice mindful parenting and be in the moment, using these daily tasks to engage with your babies.

2. Alternate and find one-on-one time

Besides meeting your twins’ basic needs, finding one-on-one time is still important, even in small pockets of time. And with the nature of twins, turn-taking and waiting are inevitable, including spending one-on-one time with you.

How can you alternate spending quality time with each baby? Perhaps while one is sitting in the infant seat, you can snuggle on the couch with the other, even for five minutes. Later, you can cuddle with the other twin while his brother is playing on the mat.

You may not be able to take one twin out for the entire day just yet, but sneaking in a few one-on-one moments adds up. They need to feel loved, but it doesn’t take hours of alone time to get the message across.

3. Practice makes perfect

The only way you’ll feel comfortable caring for your twins is through practice.

For instance, I had once thought it impossible to run an errand with my twins alone. And yes, the first few times I tried were a hit or miss, but by keeping it simple and not letting those failures hold me back, the outings became easier.

The only way to feel comfortable and competent at anything is to actually go out and do it, over and over. Start small—a walk around the block with the double stroller, or tandem-feeding by yourself. Celebrate your wins, and reassure yourself that each struggle only makes you more confident.

What to do when you’re struggling with twins.

Struggling with Twins


Every twin parent is going or has gone through the same changes you’re facing right now. No one else is doing it any better than you, and you’re not missing out on a magic formula or secret strategy.

Want proof?

Find any parent of twins, regardless of her babies’ age, and mention that you also have twins. I guarantee that you’ll form an instant connection. A “Yes, I know what you’re going through!” moment with your fellow twin mom.

I didn’t get this connection with singleton moms because we experienced varying degrees of “easy versus hard.” But twins? Instant bond. We have all been there.

These days, I’ll often find my twins laughing and playing together. They’ll create an imaginary world with their stuffed animals while I cook, or turn cardboard boxes into “computers” while I read a book nearby.

After all, twins are awesome at entertaining themselves. All those years of waiting their turn taught them to play independently as well as with each other. Being together nearly every minute builds a bond that’s pretty difficult to replicate.

It’s like reaping the rewards from the madness we went through in the early stages.

Those weeks and months when you cried yourself to sleep. When you searched online about how in the world you’ll ever get through this. The times you felt ashamed to admit you wished you didn’t have twin babies and how much easier it’d be with only one.

Don’t worry—this madness you’re going through will pass. You’ll emerge from this craziness even when you can’t imagine going through another day of it. Twins get easier with time—hang in there, mama. It does get better.

Get more tips:

Don’t forget: Join my newsletter and grab a preview chapter of How to Sleep Train Twins—at no cost to you:

How to Sleep Train Twins

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


  1. Soooo…my twins are 25 months and, well….they still don’t both sleep through the night. The boy wakes at least once a night, on average, for a bottle, and the girl has recently started sleeping through the night more often than not, but still wakes up for a bottle maybe 1 or 2 nights a week. So far, I can’t say it’s really gotten easier; the challenges just change. I think if you take 2 yr old twins vs. newborn twins, the 2 yr Olds are probably a little easier in some ways, but 2 years of accumulating mental exhaustion makes it still, to me, well, exhausting. I could go on forever, but as you said, twin parents=instant bond. You know.
    But venting aside, they are the sweetest little things ever and they make my heart so happy. It is really precious seeing the special bond they have and the way they look out for each other. I will survive.

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      Jenny have you tried sleep training your twins? Hands down, that was when life went back to ‘normal’ for me. I needed those eight hours of deep, quality sleep to function. When my twins are sick (like now!) and we have to get up a few times a night, I’m so tired the next day. I’m reminded of how crazy it was when they weren’t sleeping through. This is the post I wrote on it (I’m actually developing it into a more thorough guide): http://sleepingshouldbeeasy.com/2014/01/28/sleep-train-twins-guide/

      Because yeah like you said, two years of accumulated exhaustion adds up! Hopefully you get your rest soon. One thing for sure though, twins are almost always harder than singletons! I don’t know how many times I’ve said to myself, “Wow this would be so much easier/faster if there was just one” haha.

  2. My boys are 8 1/2 months and things are definitely getting easier. They’re sitting, self feed, can play with toys, and are starting to interact with each other. I think easiness depends on the age… In some ways newborns are easier because they usually sleep, except mine had terrible reflux and preemie issues. Our first month was spent in hospital. Some people struggle with toddlers, for me that’s the easiest stage and my absolute favourite. Right now it’s still hard to get out for the day with bottles/feeding and I look forward to this summer when we can drag them around.

    I do find that people don’t realize the biggest struggle is not being able to attend to the needs to two babies immediately, one is always waiting. That is very stressful emotionally and I’m glad you touched on it.

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      Kal, we’re the same! I couldn’t wait to get out of the newborn stage, and just love the toddler age. But yup, I also know folks who are the exact opposite: they’re terrified of the toddler age and would rather be with newborns 🙂

      And I agree—once they switched to regular milk instead of breastmilk and formula, things got much easier. No more pumping, preparing formula, all that stuff!

  3. Kelly Taylor says:

    Thanks so much for the helpful article! My girls are 4 months now and at a tricky stage. Getting very clingy and one has terrible reflux so she needs extra time with holding upright after feeds. The most difficult thing is having to let one cry while I tend to her sister, especially with wind, when you need two hands! I’m looking forward to them being able to be more independent!

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      Hi Kelly! Yes, 4 months can be tough, and I can totally relate to the scenario you just described. I think twins learn patience from day one! You’re definitely not alone. Here’s hoping things get easier!

  4. I’ve read this probably six times. It helps every step of the way. Our twins or 6 1/2 months old. Today is a day that tears sliently fall from shear frustration of never feeling like we can keep up.. or care for ourselves. It’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. So thank you!

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      It can definitely feel never-ending, doesn’t it? I’m so glad the article shed some light and reassured you that you will absolutely get through this, Bonnie!

  5. OH.MY.GOD. I desperately needed this article today. I am 6 weeks into my preemie twins’ lives… their term date is tomorrow. I have heard nothing but doom and gloom for the weeks ahead – the preemie sleep stretches at night (up to 5 hours sometimes!) I’m being told disappear in exchange for newborn hard to settle sleep. 🙁 🙁 🙁

    I am already so in debt with sleep it’s like…. I have poured 6 weeks into getting to the starting line. I desperately need to know the light at the end of the tunnel exists at a certain time. Thank you.

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      There is definitely a light at the end of the tunnel, Michelle! For me, the biggest turning point was when my babies sleep trained so that we were all better rested. But being that your little ones are only 6 weeks old, it’s understandable to feel like it’ll never end. As a second-time mom with twins, I thankfully knew that the sleep deprivation was temporary, but it still doesn’t take away all the madness of caring for two babies 🙂 Hang in there, Michelle! You’ll find your new rhythm soon. It’ll be tough for a little bit, but the craziness ends!

  6. Saving this article to my favorites because I so needed to hear this today. You are awesome!

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      Thanks so much for your kind words, Deanna! I’m glad the article helped 🙂