Want to know how to raise hard working kids? Kids who don't give up easily, take pride in their work, and enjoy the learning process. It's easier than you think! We hear about kids who dutifully check off their chores. They don't give up at the first sign of struggle. They practice over and over until they feel competent. They even like learning. We can raise hard working kids by a simple change in how we speak to our children. Because if you're like me, you may be making a crucial mistake you don't even realize you're doing. (I sure didn't until I learned this secret.) You see, I … [Read more...]
5 Tips to Increase Self Confidence in Kids
With Olympic stars and piano prodigies, it’s natural to hope our kids will excel. But a child’s ability to believe in himself far outweighs any laurels he’ll earn. Why? It’s that self confidence rather than success that can usher him through life's ups and downs. Here are five things I’m doing to increase self confidence in children. How to increase self confidence in children Tip #1: Praise the effort, not the person or the result. After I had my first baby, I heard parenting expert Julie Ross speak about the dangers of overpraise. Children driven by praise fall apart when people doesn’t … [Read more...]
How to Raise Kids with Grit
Grit helps children push on through. Find out how to raise kids with grit and perseverance — and increase their chances for success. Most people would agree that how children succeed comes from hard work. Reaching an achievement requires practice and effort not for the lazy. But we forget one underlying factor essential for success: pure, simple grit. Every one of us—including our kids—will fail. Despite hard work, we won't always get what we want or what we strive for. But grit keeps us from giving up. With grit, we bounce back. We grieve expectations and losses. We learn from … [Read more...]
5 Mistakes to Avoid when Your Child Loses a Competition
Everyone faces failure—and what we say to our kids is so important. Discover what to avoid when your child loses a competition (and what to say instead). Imagine this: Your daughter is excited to enter a gymnastics competition this weekend. She's got her ribbons prepped and her outfit hanging on the door. And her confidence is through the roof: She just knows she'll win first place. She's been practicing for weeks, although, admittedly, not as much as she could. The big day arrives, and she performs. But despite her weeks of practice, she didn't win first place. In fact, she failed to … [Read more...]
How to Use Praise to Encourage Your Child’s Potential
Many parents praise their kids with good intentions. But can praise be harmful? Here's how to praise kids to encourage their potential. I was impressed. My four-year-old had just finished building an intricate structure of wooden blocks. This was the stuff I didn't even know he could do. Each block was meticulously placed. The structure was symmetrical, and it looked like something a budding architect would make. I was so proud. Like any parent, I wanted to keep his spirits high, his ambition from fizzling. And in other times, I might have blurted out, "I love it! You're so creative. … [Read more...]
Why You Shouldn’t Reward Your Kids (And What to Do Instead)
Most parents use a reward system for kids, from potty training to chores. Here's why you shouldn't reward your kids (and what to do instead). Stars. Candy. A new toy. I swore I wouldn't resort to rewards when my toddler was potty training. So I made my own version: I drew stars on his "pee pee poster." These stars taped to the bathroom mirror were meant to encourage continued potty-training success. But did it work? Should you reward kids to keep momentum going? Not all rewards are terrible. We reward ourselves for menial tasks we dread. Or for an uphill struggle finally accomplished … [Read more...]
Why It’s Not Good to Say “Good Job” (and What to Say Instead)
You probably hear—and say—it all the time: "Good job!" Discover why doing so may not be a good idea and learn different ways to say good job instead. I'm one of those parents who will say "Good job!" over every little thing, from worthy accomplishments like playing well with his brother to not-so-worthy when I just don't know what else to say. It's understandably why we say "Good job" all the time. We're proud of our kids and amazed with what they do. We want to promote positive behavior and hope to boost their esteem and confidence. But could saying "Good job!" and other similar … [Read more...]
Remember to Praise Your Child’s Positive Behavior
Are you focusing too much on negative actions and not on your child's positive ones? Here's why it's important to praise your child's positive behavior. "Don't want to wash hands," my toddler declared after finishing a meal. This was a kid who hardly fussed about daily routines like hand washing. I could've chosen other, more conscientious alternatives. Pick my battles, don't make a big deal, be flexible. Instead, I went ahead and washed his hands for him, to his frustration. I couldn't believe he would fuss about something he's been so compliant about. And that's when I realized … [Read more...]