What supermom things do you do and not do? If you’re tired of supermom syndrome, don’t worry. Here are 7 supermom things I don’t do either.
Moms, we do a lot of things, some of them not even necessary. Sure, we balance work and family. We hold our kids sleep-deprived when they’re sick and dripping with snot. We’re supermom as we cook, clean and clip fingernails. All while maintaining our roles as wives, friends, daughters and sisters.
Then… we do even more. Look at any Pinterest board. Log onto Facebook and scroll through your fellow moms’ posts. Read your favorite mom bloggers and look at their pictures. These are awesome—in moderation.
7 supermom things I don’t do
Me? I don’t do them all. Below are seven supermom things I don’t regularly do.
1. Decorate for the holidays (besides the holidays)
Halloween, fall, Easter… You’d never know the seasons were upon us if you looked inside my home. You won’t find cornucopia centerpieces or glass vases with pine cones in fall season.
Instead I’ll do the Christmas thing. We’ll buy a fresh tree and decorate with ornaments, lights and ribbons. Next year, I’ll even get stockings to hang.
But the other seasons? Our home looks the same the other 11 months of the year.
2. Take professional photos
I have yet to pack up my family in our finest (and matching) clothes and have our photo taken. Not even for the holidays and the obligatory holiday cards (another thing I don’t do).
To vilify me further, I have only taken one complete family photo of ourselves. Back when I had more time with just one child, I managed to have photos taken of the three of us. But now with two extra little ones, we have one impromptu shot of the five of us after a hike.
And don’t even mention the milestone photos. I don’t do monthly photos for the first year and professional photos every year.
So remember me the next time you feel bad for not taking professional family photos. There’s at least one family out there who has yet to take them either.
3. Throw DIY kids birthday parties (with a themed dessert bar).
For years, I’d browse Pinterest and pin cute photos of party themes and decoration. Then I finally admitted probably never do any of them.
Our “themes” include buying matching party supplies and maybe throwing in some balloons. As cute as dessert bars are, I don’t think they’re necessary. (Do guests really need that many options for dessert?) And I’ve done away with printables after my five-year-old’s first birthday party.
Even this past year’s parties have been a bit stressful for me. Next time I’m going 100% hands off and forking the money to host them at an outside venue.
4. Craft or do learning activities
Okay, so I don’t give myself enough credit for this. Sometimes I’ll gather some vinegar, baking soda and food coloring for a science experiment. But that’s the thing… I don’t do them regularly enough.
Like DIY party ideas, I’d pin crafts and activities only to find I hardly get a chance (or the motivation) to do them. Plus, many of the crafts look like the parents did most of the work and the kids just enjoyed the fruits of their labor. Nothing wrong with that if parents like turning cardboard boxes into drive-through cars. Personally, I don’t—hence the lack of crafts in our home.
My alternative? I stock my kids with plenty of open-ended toys. Paints, crayons, paper, string, glue and all that good stuff—I let them go to town with it. Meanwhile, I do my best to find cool experiments and crafts, but don’t beat myself up if I don’t.
Read 12 crafty things non-crafty moms can do with their kids.
You don’t have to be crafty to be a supermom!
5. Record my kids’ milestones
I record all my kids’ milestones… in my head. I have a baby book somewhere for my eldest (that I have yet to finish, five years later). But otherwise I don’t record their milestones.
I know when they each walked, talked, crawled and all that, but don’t mark them down. At one point I saved their first strands of hair in an envelope that’s sitting I presume in a drawer somewhere. I may have photos of their first taste of solid food but they’re shuffled in my computer.
Like most parents, I was much better about this with my eldest, when I had more time and zeal to record milestones. I also fell for the supermom syndrome and felt I had to do it. Chalk it up to second- (and third-) child syndrome, but I don’t do as much now that I have three of them to look after.
6. Complete bucket lists
Have you seen those huge posters with activities planned for the summer? They’re a great resource for when you need ideas on what to do those long stretches without school. I’ve even gathered many ideas from them.
But to try and do every one of them? Not for me. I like having a list of ideas but would rather not have the pressure of doing them all.
7. Exercise
Of all the items on the list, this is the one I should do the most. And once in a while, I will. I’ll get hyped up about running and buy socks and have my workout gear ready to go… for about a week. Then later, I’ll psyche myself up to exercise to dance videos before calling that quits, too.
My biggest excuse? Lack of time. I know, I know. If it were really important, I would make the time for it. Who knows—hopefully I can cross this one off my list of things I don’t do soon.
What I do do…
I’m really not that horrible, I promise. I’m a supermom in my own way. Below are some examples of things I actually do—every day—to make up for the above seven:
- I prepare home-cooked meals. And I’m not talking thawing frozen food in the skillet or mixing marinara with pre-made tortellini. From scratch, people!
- I read to my kids. We’ve incorporated reading into their routine so well that it goes without question. These kids get some serious book exposure.
- My five-year-old does “homework.” Every night, my eldest does a worksheet, on weekends and everything. Bonus points for me: He actually thinks it’s fun.
- I prepared homemade baby food. All three kids are now on regular table food, but when they were younger, I pureed their baby food.
- I parent mindfully. Reading all those parenting books and research has done some good: I’m pretty proud of the way I parent my kids with the full knowledge and humility that I still have a ways to go.
We’ve all fallen for the supermom syndrome. We feel guilty or pressured to do what moms should do. Guess what? You’re doing fantastic and meeting the needs of your children. Pinterest-worthy craft or not.
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Tell me in the comments: Do you feel like an overworked supermom? I’m sure I’m not the only mom who doesn’t do everything supermoms should. What supermom things do you do and not do?
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The last paragraph is my favorite part. We moms are a diverse bunch — it’s crazy to think that we will all be good at the same things! We should spend a lot more time celebrating our strengths than bemoaning how we’re not a good “Pinterest mom” or whatever we’re supposed to be these days. (I’m terrible at kids birthday parties too!)
Exactly! Everyone’s got their “what I do, and what I don’t do” things. No one can do everything.
I love this. Well #2 is surprisingly not good for us because I take plenty of pro photos of my family, but guess what, I’m not in them! And I shoot a lot of families and I envy them. It’s important! Go book one!
We do great parties in this house for the kids but that’s mostly Cassidy.
And the holidays? My mom was a pro decorator for them. Me, not so much.
I know, I totally need to get a good photo of our family one of these days. Growing up, I think we had two real professional photos (where we would go to the studio and take a group photo). Nowadays it’s more common, especially with photographers coming out to you (plus I think they look more natural than the studio ones).
I think parenting mindfully is the thing that really matters.
Right on, MaryAnne!
That post is such a relief!!! These are the things I don’t do either and I love the way you put it up! In fact there is no typical supermom things! If you can keep your kids happy safe and healthy you are a Supermom! That’s what I believe!
Very true! Even moms who worry whether they’re doing the right thing is probably already a supermom if only for the fact that she would even worry about such a thing.
No mom is 100% supermom. I do the themed parties because I enjoy it – not because my kids begged me for it. BUT, I don’t do a lot of crafts with my kids either, mostly because of time constraints. And those people that say you make time to work out if it’s important to you? Well that’s just a total crock. You are your own supermom especially since your 5-year old loves to do worksheets!
Haha, thanks Leslie! Like I always tell you, I think it’s amazing you’re able to pull off all your parties. I tried my hand at that before (especially when I had more time before kids—I’d throw dinner parties) but now I’m all about simplicity lol. And yea, I could use a boost of workout motivation, for sure!
Yep, I don’t do any of those things either. Although we are working on having family ‘dance’ nights 3 times a week so we can develop healthy habits as a family. It was my 11-year-old’s idea. I wanted to go for walks 🙂
Haha Nikki, family dance nights sound awesome! I wish my hubs was down for that lol. Do you have those dance video games like the ones on the X-Box or the Wii? Those are pretty fun even if my kids just stare entranced at all the colors on the screen lol.
I think every parenting blogger should write a post like this! It’s so helpful to remember that NO MOM is actually doing it all perfectly! You have to prioritize and figure out what’s most important for your kids and your family, and then be OK with letting other stuff fall by the wayside.
Ya Katie it was actually kind of cathartic to go through all the stuff I don’t do, then list it with stuff I do. You realize that we all do a bit here and there, that what works for one person won’t work for another.
I love that you ended the post with the things you DO do because I think they’re pretty SUPER! Like having family dinners, which is a lost art these days. AND you read-up on all the parenting things, trying your best to give your kids the best start in life you can, so bravo! As moms and humans, we can only do so much with the skills and time we have. It’s definitely OK with me that I’m not the best at everything (though I was delusional to think I’d be before we had our first baby). I definitely don’t have crafts up my sleeve and make them up on the fly (and to the whim of my 4 yr old). I have DIY-ish birthday parties with like 1 or 2 DIY things. I DON’T make art with my kids’ food. I DON’T know how to pack a fun bento box lunch. I DON’T speak to my kid in Mandarin because he’s not interested in it (except if his teacher teaches him!). What I do – I read, I have been playing “tickle/chase monster” every night for the past week, I make cardboard cars for him that he plays for a hot minute, there’s a homecooked meal on the table almost every night, me and the hubs have to walk the dogs morning, (sometimes) noon, and twice at night.
Haha didn’t we all have such high ambitions before we had kids? lol It’s fun to read your ‘don’ts’ Lisa! From your list, I also don’t make art with my kids’ food though I’ve tried a few times and it turned out pretty cute 🙂 I also don’t do bento boxes but I’m so AMAZED at what some people can do with those. And yeah, I don’t speak a second language to my son (he’d probably end up sounding like he had a terrible accent haha).
And of your ‘do’ list, I also read and cook at night. Once in a while I’ll get silly with them but usually my kind of play is calmer!
That’s so funny because we have never taken professional family photos either. I have a friend who is a photographer that snapped some professional quality photos for me while we were chatting at Starbucks with our kids, but it was just for fun. As for the holidays, I stink at decorating. I don’t have anywhere to keep all that stuff. As for the good, I also cook and read to my kids a lot. We do a good amount of crafts and I take them to the park nearly every day. I really liked this post.
Thanks so much, Melissa! Good to see where everyone excels and “falls short” 🙂
Not everyone is a supermom. I’m guilty of sometimes putting off my child’s little needs or messing schedules up because I’m too stunned by my daily list to move forward. It can get overwhelming at times. So, kudos to the moms who manage! And thanks for this article. It gave me a confidence boost!
I missed this one somewhere along the way. It is nice to know other moms are in the same boat on some of these. Personally, huge DIY themed birthday bashes overwhelm me. I see photos and blog posts by other moms and they look awesome. And then I think about how much work goes into it and how much all that stuff costs and I move on in my life. I think the important thing to glean from this post is that every family has their own sense of important things. Photos are huge to me, so we have lots and lots of photos. Same goes for baby books. I am meticulous about doing that. I am thinking both of these are important to me because they were important to my mom, who passed them along to me. So I want to continue that for my kids too.
But really, as long as you have SOMETHING that is important to you and that you do with/for your kids, I think you’re good. Kids just remember you taking the time. So if the time is reading books or doing worksheets or planning an awesome party – you’re putting energy into your kids and family. And that’s the whole point of family and parenthood right?
Yup, exactly Vanessa. Everyone has her own “thing” that she does, and it’s okay if we don’t do everything. What works for one mom may not work for another.
Yep, totally agree! We all have strengths, talents, and interests (and for me it varies). Sometimes I’ll go all out for Holiday decorating and then the next year I won’t. Sometimes I make all meals from scratch and the next week they’ll be from frozen meals or cans. I think its important that we remember what we are doing. This is a great post to remind us about those things. We can’t do it all.
Anita, that’s a good point you bring up too. That even within our talents, they can waver from day to day or week to week. We can’t do it all, even with the things we tend to be diligent about.
Oh my God I’m reading each sentence about myself !!
Nina we have a lot in common!
Hahaha you’re definitely not alone, Noemie! 🙂
This is a great post! Sometimes I feel so much pressure to be “Supermom” since I’ve chosen to stay at home. But the pressure comes from myself, not anyone else. So I try to do everything and when I fail, I feel disappointed.
But, I have to remember that every mom who is loving and caring to their family is a Supermom. Focus on all the great things you do for your family, not the fact that you forgot to put up the Valentine’s Day decorations! Thanks for the great reminder!
Exactly, Tesse! It’s the affection and connection we build with our kids, not the superficial things. Those things should be fun, not stressful. And they definitely don’t define how good of a parent someone is.