Tired of picking up your kids’ toys and items at the end of the day? Here’s how to get your kids to clean up after themselves without nagging or yelling.
I had just finished bathing the kids, got them dressed into PJs and helped them with homework. My eldest had finally crawled into bed for the night. And I was just ready to relax when I saw the explosion of toys across the floor.
Instead of reading a book or watching a movie, I was bent over picking up toys and putting them back where they belong. Sure, I figured it was faster if I did it myself, but I felt tired of picking up the mess the kids left behind.
I’m learning the importance of teaching kids to clean up after themselves. We’re instilling important values and lessons, such as:
- Contributing to the family unit
- Fostering a sense of belonging
- Learning how to clean and maintain a neat home
- Teaching them how to value and care for their items
- Understanding the importance of responsibilities
How to get your kids to clean up after themselves
What happens if your kids are new to cleaning up or if they resist? How do you get them to clean up after themselves without the nagging and power struggles? Here’s how.
1. Make clean up part of your routine
My go-to move to avoid nagging and whining is to take the Terrible Task and integrate it into our routine. Every night, we do a quick five-minute clean up before my twins take their bath. We don’t get started with anything until the floor is free of any toys.
Learn how to get kids to do chores without nagging or reminding.
2. Have designated spots
My toddler impressed me the other day when I handed him a toy and he knew exactly where to put it. Without a permanent place, telling him to ‘put this back’ would delay the whole process .
When toys have their regular places, kids need less reminders of where to put them. They know that the cars go on the shelves, the balls in the yellow box and the stuffed animals in the toy bin.
3. Give direction and help as well
Make clean up a family affair, rather than a task designated only for kids. Help out by putting difficult toys away or returning toys in harder-to-reach places. Give your kids directions if you see them looking around. Point them to items they missed so they can find them easier.
Helping is faster and instills the values of collaboration and family contribution. Everyone pitches in to clean up.
Struggling with getting your kids to do their chores? Want to develop good habits from the start? Download my Printable Chore List templates to help you and your kids organize chores!
4. Clean up throughout the day
One habit I’m trying to ingrain in my kids is to put away their current items before they move on to the next one. For instance, I’ll ask my kids to put away their blocks before moving on to books. Cleaning up as you go along is a good habit to have into adulthood as well. Plus, this makes the end-of-the-day clean up finale less arduous.
5. Explain the importance of cleaning up
My kids respond well when I explain why we need to do something. And the benefits of cleaning up after themselves are many:
- They’re less likely to lose things.
- Their toys and items won’t get broken.
- You’ll all have more time to spend time together.
- They’re big kids now and can take care of their items.
6. Model the same habits yourself
Modeling is one of the best ways to teach your kids how to act. Make sure you are also keeping the home tidy, taking care of your belongings, and cleaning up as you go along. They’ll learn more from following your habits than empty words you don’t follow yourself.
And do so with a positive disposition. Don’t grumble about having to make your bed—just do it. Treating chores as another hassle will translate right down to your kids.
Read the importance of modeling the behavior you want to see.
Conclusion
The goal with these tips isn’t to maintain a pristine house or to implement a rigid routine. You’re teaching kids responsibility. Holding them accountable for their actions so they grow up doing so on their own. Your children’s independence and responsibility will be useful habits they’ll use all their lives.
Get more tips:
- What to Do when Your Kids Refuse to Do Chores
- 3 Lessons Every Mom Raising Boys Needs to Teach
- How to Run Errands with Kids (And Not Go Crazy)
- Genius Ways to Make Bedtime Easier
- What to Do when Your Child Disrespects You
Struggling with getting your kids to do their chores? Want to develop good habits from the start? Download my Printable Chore List templates to help you and your kids organize chores!
Rea says
July 24, 2015 at 2:32 amI like what you said about the goal of those tips. With kids around, our homes will never run out of mess but I guess what’s important is that kids know how to clean up at the end of the day or as needed. My son already knows how to follow instructions like cleaning up and putting his toys in the right places. I just need to make it more of a routine. 😉
Nina says
July 24, 2015 at 7:40 pmYup Rea, our homes won’t ever be pristine (well maybe right before visitors come over lol). And instilling a routine has been a huge help for us. That’s great your kiddo is able to follow instructions so well!
Tarana Khan says
July 24, 2015 at 5:56 amWe’ve focused on cleaning up since my son was just learning to walk! He actually likes it, and will help me put away toys. I think it’s about creating a good habit – the earlier, the better.
Nina says
July 24, 2015 at 7:43 pmNice Tarana, starting them early! That’s what’s awesome though—he actually likes it. So far my kids do too. They don’t see it as a boring task but just part of daily life (so far!). Those good habits will serve them well in the future!
Tove Maren says
July 24, 2015 at 11:27 amThis great advice – I normally plop down on the couch after they are in bed – and then I am just too tired to move. Getting into a routine and making clean up be a natural part of the day only makes sense.
Nina says
July 24, 2015 at 8:03 pmHey you just described how I look right now Tove! 😉 Since doing routine clean ups, it’s nicer to just relax at the end of the night.
Kristi Campbell says
July 24, 2015 at 3:32 pmGreat advice and I like the idea of making it seem like a relaxing part of the day where you sing or make jokes. That’s a great tip. Pinned it to my parenting board!
Nina says
July 24, 2015 at 8:07 pmThanks so much Kristi! Yeah, so far my kids don’t mind cleaning up! They expect it as part of their day to day so far.
Courtney says
July 24, 2015 at 8:48 pmI’m in the middle of Marie Kondo’s famous organizing process. Part of it for us was me taking everything out of the kids’ room. I left their cubbie frames and mattresses.
Do you know they played in that empty room for hours? They played store, they played superheroes…all imagination.
We brought only their favorite toys back in the room, and they’re now very careful about taking care of their toys. They always put them in their place without hounding, because it’s not overwhelming for them. Even when everything has been used and is all over the floor, they can see that it’ll only take a minute. I can’t wait to finish the rest of the house!
Nina says
July 25, 2015 at 9:16 pmNow I’m REALLY curious about that book, Courtney! I’m fairly minimal and I love that my kids can entertain themselves with seriously nothing sometimes lol. It definitely spurs imagination and gets them comfortable with boredom and how to overcome it creatively.
I also like how they now care for their toys. That’s actually one of the reasons I don’t double or triple up on toys for my kids. We’ll just get one toy so that they take better care of them.
Helen Weller says
July 27, 2015 at 10:49 amI have learned that kids emulate the parents in more ways than one. Mom and Dad should try to practice what they preach to their kids. Kids can be trained to behave and act a certain way, provided the trainers follow the same rules.
Nina says
July 27, 2015 at 8:33 pmYup, totally true Helen. Honestly I think parenting is useless if the parents are all talk. It matters so much that we model the behavior we want to see.
Tamara says
July 27, 2015 at 2:43 pmI don’t even know how, but my daughter is quite good at it! Of course she doesn’t really show a willingness to do it without bribery, which I’m not thrilled about. Usually it’s not so much bribery as this, “Let’s go to the library but we should clean your room a bit first. I’ll help.”
If I am combative, she balks. If I offer to help, it seems to help. And she’s more than willing to help with the rest of the house. It’s just that dang bedroom!
Nina says
July 27, 2015 at 8:49 pmI think incentives work Tamara! At least they seem to make sense. They can’t go out til the place is tidied up. That’s also so cool that you’re seeing a pattern with you being combative vs ‘on her side’ helping out.
Leslie says
July 28, 2015 at 12:27 pmThese are such great tips. I love the idea of having a required family pick up time. The best we’ve done is to get the kids to clear their dishes & put their shoes in their room when they get home from school (most of the time).
Nina says
July 28, 2015 at 8:10 pmI should be more consistent with my kids about the dishes. They mostly do it but sometimes they’ll forget.
lisacng @ expandng.com says
July 30, 2015 at 12:13 pmAh, such a hard lesson to teach and takes a long time to become habit (still isn’t one and I’ll say that the adults don’t always follow-through :P). Recently, I asked my 5 yr old to make his bed, which is basically just laying his blanket flat on the bed. I make sure to acknowledge when it happens and hope he’s proud of himself. As for cleaning up, it’s really hard. I often have to help out and/or do most of the work. I just hope with time and age, they really do it themselves. I use your advice and explain that things are less likely to be lost when we put them back. My husband and I finally made a rule NOT to help my son find any of his cars because (1) we don’t know where that particular car is and (2) to teach my son to keep track of his own cars. We don’t have designated areas for each thing. But that’s ok for us. I just want things off the floor.
Nina says
July 30, 2015 at 7:27 pmI’m sure the not following through has something to do with it Lisa! lol. I try to get my five-year-old to fix his bed too, which like yours is also just basically laying the big blanket flat. I think that’s great you praise him when he does a job well done.
I think it goes with age. We can’t expect kids super young to do nearly everything. We can still do most of it but still encourage them to pitch in.
Kristy as Giftie Etcetera says
July 31, 2015 at 9:10 amWe have a saying at my house: “Take it out. Play. Put it away!”
Nina says
July 31, 2015 at 7:53 pmSounds like it works Kristy! 🙂
maryanne @ mama smiles says
August 1, 2015 at 9:19 amThese tips are spot on. Love your parenting advice <3
Nina says
August 1, 2015 at 7:31 pmThat meas a lot, MaryAnne, thank you!
Sarah says
August 3, 2015 at 2:57 pmYes. So much yes. Mine are 8 and 11 now but you must have them pick up after themselves when they are young. Never too young. Even if, like you said, you have to do it again because it’s not “right” or it’s messy. Still, they’re getting the point. A huge part of this is your point about “having designated spots” for things. As mine got older, they would look around then just plop stuff wherever because there wasn’t anywhere to put it. (I do the same thing.)
Nina says
August 3, 2015 at 9:45 pmOh absolutely Sarah! If they don’t do it right or rather, if they do it haphazardly, then I have them do it again correctly.
Majik says
August 4, 2015 at 1:31 pmSometimes the greatest challenge is being a good model yourself, especially for working moms. Having a designated place for everything really helps. I also keep cleaning supplies and buckets conveniently tucked in a closet so there is no searching for what is needed to clean up or tidy up. I’ve also found music can be really motivational.
Nina says
August 4, 2015 at 9:29 pmI definitely need to get better about keeping my cleaning supplies all in the same place. Sometimes I forget where I left the powder cleaner and end up checking every cupboard underneath every sink lol!
Seana Turner says
October 20, 2015 at 4:30 amWell, I just couldn’t agree more. I talk to my clients about setting the example, and not only about the discipline, but about attitude. If Mom complains about putting things away and how much she hates it and nags all the time, then children will develop a negative association with the process. I also talk about the difference between “cleaning up” (which can turn into shoving items into the nearest drawer) vs. “restoring order”(where we put things back where they belong.)
Nina says
October 21, 2015 at 7:42 amSeana, I like that! ‘Restoring order.’ And yes, attitude is everything. How we convey the importance of cleaning up trickles down to our kids.