3 Techniques to Help Your Child Focus

Looking for tips on helping kids focus? These three techniques will help! Perfect for the child who can’t pay attention for a long time.

They told you kids can’t sit still, but it feels like your child has taken that to a whole new level.

He struggles with staying put at the dinner table, fidgets at school, and hops from one activity to the next. The only time he seems to be able to focus is when he’s doing something he enjoys, like playing with building toys or drawing.

If you’ve struggled with helping kids focus on one activity for a long time, you’re not alone. Many parents understand the benefits of focus but can’t seem to convince their kids to follow suit.

How can we get kids to focus for a long time, without the constant reminders?

Helping kids focus with these 3 techniques

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Perhaps we can start with why kids—and let’s face it, adults—struggle with focus. I read the book Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and  Choose Your Life by Nir Eyal, where he writes:

“We can take solace in knowing we are hardwired for this sort of dissatisfaction… Feeling contented wasn’t good for the species. Our ancestors worked harder and strove further because they evolved to be perpetually perturbed, and so we remain today.

Unfortunately, the same evolutionary traits that helped our kin survive by driving them to constantly do more can conspire against us today.”

In other words, our brains are wired to constantly look for more.

Still, I know it’s not impossible for kids to stay focused. In fact, I knew I was onto something one day when I took my toddler to the park. I watched him toss acorns, rocks and leaves into a puddle, as he watched which items sunk or floated.

While I was bored out of my mind, he remained engrossed with this simple activity that I realized he had been at it for an hour and a half. Ninety minutes of plopping rocks and acorns into water.

It was then I learned that improving focus in children is absolutely possible. Much of that has to do with their temperament, but it turns out, we can also influence their ability to focus.

These three simple techniques will do just that:

1. Follow your child’s lead

Have you noticed that your child is more likely to focus for long periods of time when you leave him be? One of the best ways to nurture focus and concentration is to simply follow his lead. Don’t explain the rules of the game or dictate how to play.

Instead, let him decide how to play, no matter how unconventional his choices might be (Pushing the swings instead of riding in them? Sure!). Lay toys and books all over your home and allow him to decide what to play with, when, and for how long.

Yes, you can still create a general agenda (“Let’s finger paint this morning”) and make suggestions (“You can use this piece to make your car steadier”). But allow him to determine the course of play. He gets to decide that for now, he’ll play with his stuffed bunny, and maybe later, stack the blocks.

And be careful not to cram too many commitments in a day that would encroach on his down time. He’s more likely to stay interested and develop a longer attention span with child-led play.

Free resource: Want to help your child recognize letters and numbers? Join my newsletter and get sample worksheets from my workbook, Letters and Numbers—at no cost to you:

2. Don’t interrupt your child’s activity

Imagine you’re at work, concentrating on an assignment. A few minutes in, a coworker pops by asking if you could send her the file you worked on yesterday, so you stop your work to look for the file to send.

But just as you finished that task, another coworker swings by and starts talking about her day. By the end of the hour, you realized you hardly made any progress on your assignment from all these interruptions.

The same is true for kids.

Pay attention to how often you interrupt him, from calling him over for snack to suggesting another toy to play with. We mean well, and sometimes we need to interrupt (like when it’s time to go to the grocery store).

But as much as possible, sit in the sidelines and allow him to stay focused. Give him the space to concentrate until you absolutely have to cut his activity short. Let him transition to the next activity on his own. And don’t hover over every minute of the activity or decide what he should do next.

Instead, ask questions, but in a way that allows him to continue the task and not lose focus. Stay nearby to answer his questions or offer help when he asks. You can even use this opportunity to do tasks nearby, like chopping vegetables or reading a book.

Your child will let you know when he wants company or wants to move on. Otherwise, give him uninterrupted time to play and discover.

Get more tips about giving your child more autonomy.

3. Find activities between easy and hard

Give your child an easy toy, especially one he has already figured out, and he’ll lose interest quickly. But do the same with a difficult one he may not be developmentally ready for yet, and he’ll get frustrated and give up.

Either way, one thing is for sure: he’ll lose focus immediately.

If you notice he’s unable to concentrate for long periods of time, see if the activity itself is either too easy or too difficult. If so, find one that falls right in between: not too easy, but not too hard, either.

The activity should be challenging enough that it takes effort, but not so difficult it leaves him frustrated. This way, curiosity drives him to continue to explore and experiment, with the expectation that he’ll eventually master it on his own.

Conclusion

Helping kids focus is more important than ever and, thankfully, simple to do at home. Start by following your child’s lead—his initiative will drive his focus more than following your directives. Then, avoid interrupting unnecessarily so he has plenty of time to play and concentrate.

And finally, provide activities that fall between easy and hard. They should be challenging enough to keep him interested, but not impossible for his developmental level.

I’m not sure what my toddler learned during that hour and a half at the puddle. Maybe he realized that leaves float while rocks sink, or he found new ways to play with water that he can try during bath time. Or maybe he just liked looking at the reflection of the trees above him.

Whatever he got out of it, he loved every moment. Beeping trucks and yelling kids and even a Mama trying to coerce him to go home didn’t deter his focus.

Get more tips:

• How to Teach Our Kids to Embrace Mistakes
• Teach Your Child the Value of a Job Well Done
• How to Keep Your Child Learning in the Summer
• 8 Long Term Benefits of Reading to Your Child
• How to Raise a Bright Child

Free resource: Want to help your child recognize letters and numbers? Join my newsletter and get sample worksheets from my workbook, Letters and Numbers—at no cost to you: