Setting limits with your strong-willed child can be a challenge. But with these simple techniques, you can turn difficult situations around! "She is just so stubborn, and... strong-willed," a friend said. She was talking about her child who was challenging her in ways she wasn't used to. Strong-willed children want to be in charge and test limits. Imagine the toddler who insists "me do it!" as he fumbles with putting on his shoes. Meanwhile, mom waits impatiently, knowing he won't be putting them on as quickly as he could. No amount of "punishments" or traditional methods of discipline … [Read more...]

Do time outs really work? Many parents use this method to discipline, but here's why time outs don't work and what to do instead. You hear it all the time: If your child misbehaves, put her in a time out. She can learn that those actions aren't tolerated and that consequences follow her misbehavior. You can even consult charts suggesting how many minutes per age to put her in a time out. Except... I don't think they work. In fact, I think there are far better ways to handle bad behavior. You see, the more I researched and learned about time outs, the more I realized that they can … [Read more...]

Looking for a better alternative to time out? A time out isn't effective and misses key learning moments. Try this alternative instead. My three-year-old had been playing with an action figure when, out of frustration, he hurled it several feet away. He knew he's not supposed to throw certain toys that can break or hurt others, but he didn't seem to care. "We don't throw those toys," I glared at him. "Please pick it up and put it on the shelf." As expected, he stayed rooted to where he sat. Insert more threats here and there, and, I regret to admit, said, "You need to go to your room. … [Read more...]

Dealing with meltdowns can be more challenging in front of others. From parties to restaurants, learn what to do during public tantrums. I'd be at a family party with relatives and friends around, or the zoo, trying to placate one of my kids as he rolled on the floor. Other times, the scene would erupt at a restaurant or while grocery shopping, and strangers would peer our way and wonder what in the world was going on. My kids have tested me in front of others, and the embarrassment was real. If they weren't kicking their legs, they were throwing things or yelling. They didn't always … [Read more...]

It's tough to enforce rules when kids throw a tantrum. But learn the one big reason parents should stand their ground during these meltdowns. Imagine throwing a tantrum... and getting everything you demanded. You might think this is ideal for your child, but being too lenient can often lead to adverse consequences. Giving in all the time during a power struggle may lead her to believe that negative actions are the way to get anything. She learns that throwing a fit means mom and dad break down and oblige. So, she might use this method more often than not to get what she wants. The … [Read more...]