Feeling Scared About Having Twins? You’re Not Alone

Are you scared about having twins? Here’s one mom’s honest post about hearing the news of having twins and how to overcome the fear.

Scared About Having TwinsI watched the monitor as my doctor performed the sonogram. “Well, I have good news…” she began, “…and even better news.” Right away, I saw the two blobs on the screen. I knew before she even uttered the T-word that I was carrying twins.

She congratulated me on the surprising news. Meanwhile, I plastered on a fake smile because, deep down, the news scared me out of my mind.

My husband, on the other hand, was ecstatic during the ultrasound. Even when I was pregnant with my older child, he had already been hoping for twins. “Why?!” I asked him. “Twins mean double the work, double the costs, and double the trouble.”

For the most part, I was right.

I would have two newborns who wouldn’t sleep through the night. Two toddlers with separation anxiety, bath time fears, determined defiance, and tantrums.

Any parent of twins will tell you that two babies are more work than a singleton. Before being a twin parent myself, I once approached a father of twins at the park and said, “Wow, you must have double the work of a single child.” And he responded, “Not double—quadruple!” I believed him instantly.

And did I mention that I already had a toddler? I would’ve been more okay if my first pregnancy resulted in twins. But nope, we got twins while raising a toddler as well.

Surprising Costs of Raising Twins

When you’re feeling scared about having twins

Carrying twins had its own set of risks to myself and the babies. As a twin mom, I automatically had a high-risk pregnancy for carrying fraternal twins. I…

  • Needed to check in with my doctor more often.
  • Was more likely to develop symptoms and complications like preeclampsia and gestational diabetes.
  • Felt more fatigued. I already felt a difference at seven weeks pregnant with twins compared to seven weeks with my first.
  • Was worrying that the babies were at higher risk for being born prematurely, bringing more complications.
  • Couldn’t travel.
  • Needed to rest more than my previous pregnancy.

Differences Between Singleton and Twin Pregnancies

But perhaps the biggest challenge was that a twin pregnancy went against my plans. Yup, I actually planned, even with something as unpredictable as kids. I wanted two and no more—just one more sibling for my little guy to be a big brother to.

Now we’re a family of five—not what I planned for (insert fist shaking at the sky).

I also worried about my toddler—how would he react? Would he feel excluded as a non twin child? I was already leafing through advice on how to introduce a new baby to your child. Would it be worse with two babies?

At one point, I picked him up after work and couldn’t help but think, You have no idea what’s in store for you. I wanted to protect him from the vast changes about to happen to him, changes he didn’t ask for.

So yes, I was scared about having twins.

I knew other parents of multiples had done it before, clearly. My good friend is a twin herself, and she and her sister share a special bond that only twins will have.

Non Twin Child

I even hoped my little guy might prove me wrong and be the most compliant toddler. The best big-brother helper in the world, despite two crying babies. And for all I knew, my twin pregnancy would go just as smooth and complication-free as my first.

With the doctor and nurses congratulating me, I felt embarrassed and guilty for not jumping with joy. I should’ve been happy I was having twins, but I wasn’t. Not exactly.

Instead, I felt scared. I knew how ungrateful I sounded, considering how many families are trying to conceive even just one—and there I was complaining about two. Still, those were my honest, initial emotions, and I won’t lie.

As I say in my book, Expecting Twins:

“Where you are now is still so far away from when your twins will be born. Everything seems overwhelming when you’re staring at the finish line from the starting line. When you have a long list of things you still haven’t done but somehow have to complete before the twins arrive.

My advice? Take action on only the things you can do within the next three months, at the most. Yes, have big-picture goals, such as saving for a new van or thinking about maternity leave, but don’t plan to do anything tangible with anything you can’t do anything about within the next three months.”

Expecting Twins

Much has transpired with my fears and anxiety from that seven-week mark. Still, I wanted to capture my emotions to reassure you that you’re not alone.

Even better, I got through it—from morning sickness to labor to the exhaustion of caring for two. The first few months were rough, but having had a first child, I knew the challenges were temporary. My life became the normal we had before the twins were born.

Twin life turned out to be a blessing. Because double the trouble meant double the love, double the memories, and double the lessons I learned from these two babies, these twins of mine.

Get more tips:

Free printables: Want to make sure you get everything you need done for your twin pregnancy? Join my newsletter and get your Twin Pregnancy Checklist! Now you’ll know which tasks you need to take care of before the twins arrive. Grab it below—at no cost to you:

Free Twin Pregnancy Checklist


  1. I’m so glad I came across this article – I found out 2 days ago I’m expecting twins and I can 100% relate to what you were feeling when you wrote this. We have a 2 year old and were planning on ONE more baby, and then we find out its twins….im in complete shock. Here we thought we had almost everything we needed for a baby but no now we have to buy everything all over again! And it scares the crap out of me to think of how we will handle two babies when we also have a crazy toddler to care for! I’m terrified and have no idea how we are going to handle this, I want to cry every time I think about it. I would love any advice or tips you can give!

    1. Hi Jennifer! Yup, I was in the same boat. I’d go from excited to scared to mad to crying and all those emotions. I worried about how my body would handle twins, how we’d afford it, how to take care of two PLUS an older one. You’re definitely not alone!

      I went on online forums for twin moms. It was comforting to know that I wasn’t alone, that other people understood the twin lingo and all the challenges and joys of having twins (because singleton parents can only relate so much).

      Congrats, and truly, welcome to the world of twins. Mine are now two-years-old and there are times it’s super hard, but it has made me stronger and I love having my boys. My eldest and the two are now the best of friends.

  2. I’m 22 weeks pregnant with boy/girl twins and this is exactly how I’ve been feeling! Thank you for writing this! When I found out, the ultrasound tech was all excited and I told her, “I’ll be excited next month” hehe Still not feeling excited, exactly (hoping my upcoming shower will help with that). Though I can’t wait to hold them!!
    Thank you, again 🙂

    1. Julia, I’m so glad you found my blog and this post in particular! You are absolutely not alone in freaking out a bit with having twins. Talk about a surprise! The first few weeks are rough, but like you said, it’s pretty cool to finally hold them and welcome them into this world. Wishing you the best in the remainder of your pregnancy, and hope to see you around my blog again! Nina

  3. Nina,
    I just found out 3.5 hours ago that I’m expecting twins and I’m still in shock. I have a 19 month old at home that I immediately thought about as I began to cry while the tech was still doing my ultrasound. Your website was the very first one that I stumbled across as I begin my Google journey about twins and every word you said was exactly all the thoughts that I’ve had so far. The fear, the guilt, the sadness, only wanting one more child…. every. single. word. Thank you. I know that once I settle into the reality that I’ll feel more positive about this, but your words really made me feel less terrible to know I wasn’t the only one with instant negative feelings. Best wishes to you and your family!

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      I’m so glad you’re reassured, Katie! You’re definitely not alone 🙂 And yes, the emotions are overwhelming, and completely normal. You will get through this, mama! Twin life is a good life! And please feel free to comment or reach out if you ever have any questions.

  4. Nina- thank you so much for writing this. We found out this week that I am expecting twins, and we similarly just wanted ONE sibling for my daughter (they would be spaced 21 months apart if full term). Since the ultrasound I think I have run out of tears. I am already an anxious person, and I am finding myself worrying about potential health complications, time burdens, lack of sleep, and no longer being able to have a strong bond with my daughter. Your blog gives me hope that I might make it through to the other side. It just feels like such a surreal turn of events. My husband and I are a bit older (I am 40), and I just hope I am equipped to handle this change in our lives. Great to hear all is well in your life now- I pray I get there one day.

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      Hi Erika! Big hugs, I can totally relate to EVERYTHING you’re going through. I felt a knot in my stomach, anticipating all the things we’d go through. Rest assured, what feels like a massive unknown and even challenge is not as bad as it might seem. From where you are now, it feels impossible, but as you go through this journey, you’ll find a new normal. Definitely check out the blog and all the twin stuff I have to offer. Hopefully it’ll shed some reassurance that this will be all right in the end 🙂

  5. Thanks for this post. I jsut find out yesterday we are expecting twins. We are in our 40s and already have a toddler. I am overwhelmed and find hard to be excited or happy with the news. We are not sure how we will make it work with two more kids and I also scared about all the other risks. We don’t even own a house. I jsut hope at some point I can feel some happy again. I jsut felt I ruined our family live

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      Big hugs, Dani! I can so relate (down to not having a house at that point lol!). The emotions come and go, but by the time you’re ready to give birth, it will already have sunk in and it’ll be different from how you feel now. There are still challenges, but the initial shock won’t last forever. I can say in hindsight that I worried much more than I needed to, and that it all works out somehow. Hang in there, mama <3

  6. I just found out I’m having twins at my first 7 week ultrasound and I’m freaking out! I have a one year old whose about to be 2. I thought I had this whole mom thing down packed and now I’m second guessing everything. Every emotion you mentioned I am going through and I’m scared! I cry everyday. My husband doesn’t understand what I’m going through. We had a miscarriage in august and he says I should be grateful, which I am, but this is all so overwhelming. So many thoughts are running through my mind… how are we going to manage financially? Do I have to quit my job when I’m about to get promoted to a manger position? I can’t afford 3 kids in daycare! Then the house, we don’t have enough bedrooms. Do we move? We just bought it 3 years ago. Do we extended the house? But again, all of this is a financial burden! I’m going crazy in my thoughts! My husband thinks I’m depressed and not happy. I’m happy but I can’t stop thinking about EVERYTHING!!!

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      Hi Nancy! It’s totally normal to project all the “what if”s now that you know you’re expecting twins. The first thing I would say is to know that everything will work out somehow. I had no idea how I’d afford child care, but somehow it worked out. I thought my body wouldn’t be able to handle the pregnancy, but even though I did have complications, I got through it.

      Then, take it a day at a time. You wouldn’t extend the house right this second, so wait until you get closer to that point to decide whether that’s even necessary right now. You don’t know what will happen between now and then, and things just might work out in your favor, as things usually do. Sometimes all our worst fears, like not being promoted, are just in our heads, so try to imagine the best possible scenarios for now. Should they actually happen, then you’ll deal with it then, but you’re adding unnecessary stress by “living” through the scenario in your head when it actually hasn’t happened.

      And lastly, you won’t always have these running thoughts in your mind throughout the whole pregnancy. I admit that I was thinking of every possible scenario like you in the beginning. Then, over the months, you go through each day and realize that you can do it. Hang in there, mama <3

  7. Thank your for this article, this was like reading my own thoughts. As I’m crying and freaking out and am thinking of all of that (in solution mode) in the middle of the night instead of sleeping… 12 weeks pregnant with twins, we had the ultrasoud a week ago. Everyone is so happy for us and some even say that this is their dream to have twins (and it makes me so mad because they don’t get it, all the pressure and the risks). Anyway this was really helpfull to read, thank you very much.

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      I’m glad the article resonated with you, Vicky <3 There's definitely a whole bunch of emotions we go through, and sometimes people assume we should feel happy and grateful all the time. Rest assured, you're not alone, friend!

  8. I just found out I’m having twins. I’m 7 weeks. And I have to go back in 2 weeks to determine what type of twins we are having. Fear and anxiety are my main emotions right now. We’ve got 2 older kiddos (10 and 6) who have been wanting a sibling. I’m so nervous to tell them they get joy 1 but 2. I’m worried about the complications at my age (35) and in general I’m freaking out. We’ve told nobody about our pregnancy yet so I have nobody I can confide in except my husband. He’s amazing but doesn’t have all the same fears I do. This article made me feel better about not being over joyed right away with the news.

    1. Nina Garcia says:

      Hi Lauren, I’m glad the article resonated with you and provided some comfort. That initial shock can definitely feel alarming, and I can certainly relate to the lack of excitement (and the excess amount of fear and worry). It’s hard to see how it all plays out at this time, but remember all the other challenges you’ve gone through and were anxious about, and how we plowed through them regardless. I believe the same can be said for twins, and it certainly did work out for me in the end. Not to say that everything was perfect (because I certainly had my share of complications), but in the grand scheme of things, it all worked out. I’m sure the same is true for you too! Hang in there, mama <3

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